if we were meant to be (billieeilishxtatemcrae)

six

tates pov <3

i wake up tangled in billies arms like normal, she's still fast asleep. last night was alright but i don't think my friends appreciated her being here and to be fair i don't really blame them. i've been telling them all that i'm gonna move on for so long but it's just never happened.

i have a show tonight, i think i'm somewhat prepared but i can just sort all that out in soundcheck which i'll have to leave for in a few hours. i climb out of bed quietly, trying not to wake billie up as i exit the room.

i head into the kitchen, seeing dan there cooking some breakfast for himself. "morning you" he says, coming over and giving me a hug. i let go of him and pull my t shirt over my shorts before walking over to the fridge and getting some fruit out for my breakfast. i have to eat pretty healthy most of the time for dance, plus i'm usually at the gym like 4 times a week too, so i need the energy.

i take a seat at the dining room table and eat my food whilst looking through my emails to see if i've missed anything important at all.

after i've had food, i head back into my bedroom and change into some nike shorts and a sports bra to do a little stretch and little workout, nothing too straining as i have a show tonight.

i get my yoga mat out in the living room and sit on it, stretching out my legs and stomach which is usually what i hurt the most. "morning beautiful" billie says entering the room and coming over kissing my forehead. "hey, help yourself to any food or anything" i tell her as i begin my short workout. i really want to buy a treadmill but i'm not sure if we have room for that.

"let me hold r your feet for you while you do sit ups" brad says, coming over and sitting down on the mat with me. he holds onto my ankles as i do a couple sit ups. "you gotta try and kiss me on the way up" he says, knowing it will make billie jealous.

"no dude let me workout in peace" i say as he rolls his eyes.

....

it's almost show time, i did the sound check and everything is up to plan which is great. i'm actually really nervous, i have my friends here, dan, billie, finneas and claudia, so no pressure. "you look fucking great" claudia says. her and i have grown really close, she knows basically everything about me and is always checking up to see how i am.

"who's that" i ask finneas and claudia, seeing billie bringing a guy in, both of them laughing at something and holding hands discreetly. "oh erm, that the dude she's been going on dates with" her brother tells me awkwardly.

"she told me he's been asking her on dates but she keeps saying no" i explain to them. they both shake their heads and sigh. "she's been out with him like 4 times now, he's even been over for dinner with our parents" finneas says.

i furrow my eyebrows and shake my head, why would she lie to me. i told her she could bring someone to the show if she wanted, but i didn't expect her to bring him. i watch as he leans in and kisses her instantly making me feel sick.

i leave the room quickly and head into my dressing room which nobody's allowed to come in unless i let them. i scroll through my phone and post the photos of my show outfit on instagram.

i put my phone down on the table in front of me and take sip of my water, leaning back in my chair as i listen to the support act faintly. i better actually see people instead of being boring sat in here.

once i finally get back into the green room lucy comes over to me and puts her arm around my shoulder, "are you ok, there pretty much acting like their dating" she says referring to billie and the mystery dude, i look up seeing them coming in my direction.

"brandon this is tate" billie says, gripping hold of his arm. i want to go crazy right now trust me, but i can't, it's not like i'm dating her, we pretty much just have a casual hookup and that's it. "amazing to meet you, i'm looking forward to your show" he says smiling.

"thanks" i say, avoiding looking at the blonde haired girl in front of me.

i turn around seeing my tour manager motioning for me to come over letting me know it's time to go on. i follow him to stage, my friends following behind.

////
"yo what's up la, i've missed this a lot" i shout after i finish my first couple of songs, "and also i live here now, so if you see me on the streets please come and say hi". the crowd all cheer and scream.

my dancers come on stage as the next song starts, making me sing and dance along.

after a while we have got to the end of the set, my last song you broke me first.

"now suddenly your asking for it back, could you tell me where'd you get the nerve, yeah you can say you miss all that we have, but i don't really care how bad it hurts when you broke me first". i sing using every single bit of emotion i have left inside me. i feel horrible, i feel let down and most of all i feel used, which is pretty much all i have been for the last 2 years.

"you broke me first, first"

the crowd all cheer forcing me to put a happy face on, but i don't feel it at all right now.

the show ended about an hour ago and we have all been sat backstage chilling and allowing myself to cool down. i'm exhausted from the show and can't really be bothered moving right now.

"hey so i have a question for you" i hear brandon ask billie, i look up seeing how close they are to me. the blonde girl nods and smiles shyly which is something i haven't seen from her in a while. "will you be my girlfriend?" he questions. i snap my head there direction, feeling my heart pounding in my chest.

"id love to" she says, kissing him immediately. i squeeze eyes shut as tears fall down my face. i'm sorry but what the fuck. "are you serious" i say, standing up billies attention instantly on me.

"tate" she says and i shake my head, everyone around watches knowing what's about to happen. she comes up to me and tries to hold onto my hand but i stop her. "i need to let you move on" she adds.

"so you bring some fucking guy to MY show and stand there being all loving with him while i'm literally right here, if you want to move on then why the hell have you done it here" i yell.

she runs her hand through her blonde hair and sighs, "i need you to delete my number and we need to stay away from each other from now on, it's just how it has to be tate" she explains, trying to keep calm but i can see she's shaking.

"you didn't love me one bit, you've just used me" i say, walking away from her and grabbing my stuff quickly. "tate you know that's not true" she says but i ignore her and leave the venue as soon as i possibly can.

i try to wipe my tears but they just continue to fall quickly, my body becoming weak. a group of girls begin walking up to me looking shocked. "omg tate" one of them says, all of them wearing my merch. "wait are you ok" one brunette asks, noticing my tear stained faces. i shake my head and they all hug me instantly.

"i need to get home girls, i'm sorry i had to meet you like this" i say to them, they all look at me concerned before i walk past them and get in my car, getting out of here quickly.

shortly after i arrive at my apartment, where i instantly walk into my room and slam the door shut locking it behind me.