if we were meant to be (billieeilishxtatemcrae)

ten

i let go of billies arm and sit down on the chair behind me, my whole body just feels in shock right now. the thing is, everything she said is right. i do love her more than him, and if i had the option to marry her i'd say yes straight away.

and i know that's bad of me because i'm engaged to dan, i should be fully committed but this is the hardest thing i've ever experienced in my life.

billie's pov

no matter what i do i can't get over her, i got a boyfriend, i stayed away, i blocked her number, but it's so fucking useless because nothing is ever going to work. she could try to kill me and i think i'd still be in love with her.

i stand frozen, not knowing what to say or do. my whole body is numb, my mind and heart racing. claudia and liv go over to tate, trying there best to comfort her but it doesn't seem to work. i look at her, seeing complete shock, her face has gone pale, she's shaking. this is the time we need each other the most.

finneas comes to me and tries to give me a hug but i stop him and kneel down in front of tate, i put my hands on the side of her neck. "hey look at me, your ok,  you are going to be ok" i say to her, rubbing her neck up and down with my thumbs. she doesn't move at first, just continues staring at her floor, her whole body still shaking.

eventually her eyes meet mine and tears fall down her face, she takes a deep breath and runs her hand through her hair. "where's your car keys baby?" i ask her. "my pocket" she mumbles. i reach into her hoodie and pull the keys out passing them to olivia. 

"you go home take tates car, i can't let her leave when she's like this, just tell dan she passed out or something" i say, she nods. olivias the only one that has ever liked me or trusted me enough around tate everyone else just hates me.

liv nods and gives her best friends shoulder a rub before getting escorted out by claudia. i take hold of tates arm and pull her up slowly, she holds onto my arm tight as i lead her into my bedroom. she sits down on my bed, letting me pull her clothes off her and change her into one of my shirts.

"drink some water" i say, undoing the bottle cap and handing it to her. she drinks a little bit and then gives it back to me, her shaking slowly stopping. "i'm sorry billie" she says to me, i kiss her forehead and tie her hair back out of her face.

"it's alright" i say, getting her into my bed and putting the covers over her. "i'll be right back ok" i tell her and she nods, hugging onto my bed covers tightly. i leave my bedroom and let out a huge sigh, now time to talk to brandon. i go downstairs and see him sat there in the living room watching a movie.

"hey, erm i'm sorry but tate's staying, i don't know if you heard what happened."i say to him, he smiles at me and nods.

"you don't have to explain yourself, you really care about her right" he asks and i nod. "well i trust you, i'm gonna go home and you call me when you need me or when she's left" he adds. he's stupid for trusting me, i don't even trust myself when it comes to her.

"thank you" i say. he walks past me and kisses my forehead before leaving the house. i run back upstairs and climb into my bed next to tate, instantly pulling her into my body and holding her closer than i ever have before. i'm just so happy she stayed with me in the end, i know it hasn't changed anything she's still got his ring on her finger.

but i need her more than ever right now.