if we were meant to be (billieeilishxtatemcrae)

twenty three

"hey" dan says as he walks over to me, with what seems like a guilty look on his face. "hi" i reply, watching him sit down beside me and place his hand on my leg. he sighs, "i'm sorry i got so angry yesterday, it wasn't fair of me. i was hurt, i am hurt but i know you can't help what you feel towards her and it's selfish of me to think that it's that easy" he explains to me, rubbing his thumb on my thigh.

"i never wanted to hurt you dan, because i genuinely do care. i know it seems like i don't, especially when i'm with her. but there's just so much history and feelings there that are almost impossible to shake" i tell him, he studies my face as i talk, listening to every word i have to say.

"so are all the feelings you have towards me real?" he questions, i run my hand through my hair and then nod. "of course they were, i'm not faking anything" i explain.

he smiles at me and unexpectedly leans in and kisses me before i even have time to think. his hands gripping my face tightly. "i cant wait to get off this tour and get back to normal life with
you" he says, and then kisses me again.

i don't even think i kissed him back, i don't know what i did because i literally feel like i've just froze and have no idea what the fuck to
do.

as soon as i snap back into reality i remember where i am, and what i'm doing, and who's behind me right now. "i'm going to go and freshen up" dan says, kissing my cheek and then disappearing quickly.

as soon as i stand up and turn around, i see billie quite clearly on the verge of tears, trying her best to hold it in. "bil" i say, trying to take hold of her hand but she pulls it away.

"no, just do what you want, whatever makes you happy. i've tried my best, it's on you now" she tells me, leaving the stage and running off to her dressing room. i quickly walk after and walk into the dressing room, finding that billies locked herself in the bathroom.

"billie, please. i didn't know he was going to do that, i didn't even kiss him back" i say, sitting down on the floor and leaning my back against the bathroom door. she doesn't say a word, but i refuse to leave without seeing her.

"don't make me break this door down" i add, but still nothing.

i sigh, "i love you, i really fucking do".

what perfect timing, dan walks into the dressing room looking at me with confusion. "what are you doing babe" he asks, a smile on his face. i stand up and roll my eyes.

"stop, don't touch me" i say as he tries to take hold of my hand. "why not babe, i just went to get your engagement ring back" he tells me and i instantly shake my head.

"i don't fucking want it, i don't want you. i never did" i yell, but he takes hold of my arms and grips me there.

"sure you do, we're going to have the happiest life together, we're going to get married, have kids, everything that she can't give to you" he says, kissing my forehead. how am i so stupid, he's quite clearly drunk.

"dan get off me" i shout, trying to get my arms out of his grip but i can't. "why" he says.
"get off me now" i yell again.

the bathroom door instantly shoots opens and billie comes out, tear stains under her eyes, but a look of anger on her face. dan smirks, "there she is, billie to the rescue" he says sarcastically.

her face full of pure frustration, she sees his hands on my arms and instantly pushes him off me with all her force, sending him flying backwards. "stay the fuck away from her you controlling freak, she's not even your girlfriend, you broke up" billie yells.

"why've you been crying billie, can't get the girl you've always wanted?" he says with a laugh as he comes closer to me again, once again trying to grab hold of me.

that's when billie completely looses it and sends a punch straight to his face. "security, get this guy the fuck out of here now" she shouts, blood pouring out of his nose.

security come racing in and grab hold of him, "see you back at our apartment babe" he says, smiling as he gets dragged out. maggie and patrick come in the room full of concern, as they look between me and their daughter.

"is everything ok?" maggie says, rubbing billies shoulders, looking at her with worry, tears still in the dark haired girls eyes.

i nod and excuse myself not wanting to be in the room any longer, "i better go and do my sound check" i say, escaping out of the room before anyone says anything to me. i hear the door open and close behind me but i continue walking, not wanting to talk still in shock from what happened.

"zach, carter you ready for soundcheck" i say finding my band who are messing around beside the stage, they both nod and walk on sorting everything they need out.