i've been on facetime to my personal trainer for the past hour trying to get a workout in somehow whilst being on a tour bus. let me tell you it isn't easy and i'm tired but i have to work out all the time for my dancing.
i decided to go back to my bus instead of billie's as i kinda just needed more space and quietness. literally the only people that are in this bus is me, dan, my guitarist and manager. i didn't bring my parents or anyone with me because they said they couldn't come. "alright good workout tate, make sure you go and eat something healthy, i know it's hard cause your on tour but do your best" he says to me. i nod and thank him, talking for a couple minutes more and then ending the call.
i quickly reply to a text olivia sent me and sit down on the sofa in the bus, looking on maps to see where we are. the show isn't actually a couple of days in florida because of the availability at the venue, so we have booked a little house out for 2 days for all of us to chill. we figured it would be better than a hotel, especially because billie gets recognised absolutely everywhere and there will be people outside the hotel all the time, just not very private.
"alright guys we're here" my manager says who's actually been driving my tour bus for us. he pulls up in the carpark beside the other 2 tour buses and opens the door. i step outside, thankful to feel some fresh air.
"hello, welcome everyone. can i assist in taking your bags inside" a man says, standing by the entrance of the little villa. i grab a couple of bags and hand some too him. "this is beautiful" claudia says as i reach the others. we all walk inside and he shows us our bedrooms individually.
dan and i throw our bags down onto the floor of our room, looking out at the view of the pool. i have never stayed anywhere like this on tour before. i walk back into the living room, hand in hand with my boyfriend, people surrounding the room. from tour managers, to sound guys, there's a lot of people staying in here.
"i will let you all get settled, enjoy your stay" the owner of the house says, giving us all a wave and then leaving. finneas sits on the sofa, finding the tv remote and is scrolling through to find something to watch.
i head outside, sitting down on one of the sun loungers and looking over the pool. billie comes outside with two glasses of icy water in her hands, a grin on her face and i can't help but smile at her. she puts them down on the table and then takes her hoodie off, standing there in her bike shorts and oversized shirt.
instead of sitting on her own sun-lounger she squeezes next to me, putting her feet up and relaxing. "you good there?" i ask with a little giggle.
"i'm great" she says, being all goofy and shit.
"you know this reminds me of when we went to hawaii, do you remember?".
i nod and smile. billie took me to hawaii with her brother and claudia for a couple of days about a year ago. i honestly had the best time possible.
flashback to hawaii
"you fucking dare" i shout as billie pushes me in the pool, fully clothed. she stands at the side laughing, and then pulls her shirt off, jumping in as well.
"your so annoying" i say, trying to climb out but she pulls me back in by my waist and spins me around to look at her. she smiles and tucks my hair behind my ears. "your so beautiful" she says to me, biting her lips.
"don't start acting nice, i literally washed my hair 3 hours ago and you've just pushed me in the pool" i say, trying my best to act mad at her. "i guess we will just have to shower together later and i'll wash it again for you" she says, smirking at me and leaning in kissing my lips softly. she goes in to kiss me again, but i push her back and splash water in her face, swimming off quickly seeing her shocked expression.
"erm excuse me" she says, coming after me, grabbing onto my waist again and pulling me into her body. i smile at her, putting my hand on her chest, kissing her again.
i snap out of my thoughts, smiling to myself remembering that trip. "yeah i remember" i say quietly, turning my head to billie finding she's already looking straight back at me. "don't look at me like that" i say, seeing her the love and longing in her blue eyes.
"why?" she asks quietly, almost in a whisper.
i sigh, not breaking our eye contact once. "you know why" i tell her, running my hand through my hair. she looks down at my lips momentarily and then back to my eyes.
"break up with him" she says. i shake my head no. "please" she adds. "no" i say, looking away from her and sighing. i scoot a little closer to her and put my head on her chest. "this is why i've been trying to avoid you" i say.
she plays with my hair as i feel her chest rise and sink, the faint sound of her heartbeat comforting me. "why?" she questions. "because you make me feel things that i don't want to feel, that i can't feel" i say.
"i just want you" she says, almost sounding a little sad. i stay silent, her hand rubbing up my body comfortingly.
YOU ARE READING
if we were meant to be (billieeilishxtatemcrae)
Teen Fiction"if we were meant to be we would've been by now"
