Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
liked by finneas, danrosewood and 179,787 others.
tatemcrae: first night in la went pretty smooth 📸 @danrosewood
view all comments
lucyxx: damn girl danrosewood: mine
..
another boring day of unpacking and sorting things out for the apartment. luckily i think my friends are gonna come and keep me company today.
i walk around my room and sit on the rug on the floor, opening a bag and going through the stuff in it, pulling out a few ornaments and photos which i can use to decorate.
"do you want anything from mcdonald's?" dan questions, standing in the doorway. i look up at him and shake my head.
"i'll order when my mates get here" i explain and he nods, watching me unpacking. i pull out the remaining of the photos seeing one of me and billie remembering that night like it was yesterday. i frown my eye brows staring at it, deciding to put it in a box under my bed instead.
flashback to last year
"happy birthday billie" people shout as they walk past us both on the dance floor. she leads me upstairs to the roof top, the music still playing faintly.
billies hands around my waist and mine on her neck. she stares into my eyes lovingly, but i know she's feeling guilty too.
"i wish i could give you everything you ever wanted" she admits to me. "i only wanted you" i tell her. she kisses my forehead and sighs.
"and i can't give you that" she says. i droop my head down looking at the floor beneath us.
"so then what are we doing, why am i here dancing with you. why do you keep kissing me. if you can't be with me then let me move on billie" i say, getting a little frustrated.
"i don't want too" she admits, pulling me closer so we are now hugging. "i wanna be the only one to touch you, the only one to keep you company at night, the only one to fuck you" she says quietly into my ear giving me the shivers.
"that's selfish billie" i say, sort of breathless from the effect she has on me. "well i guess i'm selfish then" she admits.
end of flashback
nothing has really changed much since then, i'm still held down by her and i know i should move on and try to get her to let me, but i just can't. it's ruined every near relationship i've ever had, including with dan. because she always finds a way to intrude. it's the most toxic thing i've ever been in and either way i know it's going to hurt.
"you good?" dan asks, as i sigh. i stand up and walk over to him. "i need a hug" i say, wrapping my arms around his middle. he puts one of his hands on the back of my head messing with my hair.
"she'll make you feel good for 10 seconds and then your just gonna get hurt again, i hate how she does this to you" he says to me kissing the side of my head.
it's also even harder when her new album had just come out and i know the majority of the songs are about me.
my phone vibrates in my hand making me let go of dan and check it. "my friends are coming tomorrow instead" i say, as i read their message.
"when's billie back?" he asks me. "tomorrow night i think" i say to him.
he gives me a flirty look and holds out his hand for me. i know what he wants and to be honest, what a better way to cheer myself up. i accept his hand and follow him as he leads me into his bedroom, shutting the door behind us.
he throws me down onto the bed and instantly kisses me, wasting no time to take our clothes off. he pulls my underwear down and pushes himself inside me straight away. i arch my back and let out a breath.
not long after i end up falling asleep in his bed.
