fuck sleep i'm just gonna update the story all night , also i hope you enjoy the change in the story.
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tate's pov
i didn't mean for last night to turn into what it did, i feel so stupid, i knew billie was going to react like that but the fact that brad decided to show up just made it so much worse than it needed to be. i don't know why i decided to stay here last night, i shouldn't of. but my mind was so lost i just needed some normality, which for me is billie.
i climb out of billies bed being careful not to wake her, it's pretty early so i think she'll be asleep for quite a while yet. i walk into her home studio and sit behind the piano, yawning a little.
i press a few keys on the piano warming my hands up a little bit, before pressing record on my phone. i did this cover a while ago but i really want to record it again, i feel like this is the only thing that will put my mind at ease.
"summer after high school when we first met, we make out in your mustang to radio head, and on my c 18th birthday we got matching tattoos, used to steal your parents liqueur and climb to the roof, talk about our future like we had a clue, never planned that one day i'd be loosing you" i sing.
"but in another life, i will be your girl, and we'd keep all our promises be us against the world. in another life, i would make you stay, so i don't have to say you were the one that got away, the one that got away".
i stop hearing the door open behind me. there stands a sleepy billie looking at me sadly. i look away and stop recording on my phone. neither of us know what to say to each other at all, i honestly need to get out of here but i can't help but feeling like it's the last time i'm going to see her.
"claudia and finneas stayed and made breakfast" she finally manages to get out, i nod and follow behind her downstairs, leaving a distance between us both. i enter the kitchen and give finneas and claudia a quick hug, before sitting down at the breakfast bar. i look around the room, flashbacks filling my mind.
flashback
billies pushes me up against her kitchen counter and bites her lip hard, a cute smile coming onto her face. she moved into her new house today, finally getting out of her parents way.
"do you wanna know something?" she asks, looking a little nervous. "i'd love to know something" i say as she grips my waist a little more.
"i love you more than anything" she admits. that's the first time she's ever told me that, i've known for a long time that i'm in love with her but i wasn't sure if she felt the same. i smile widely, my cheeks turning a shade of red.
"i love you too billie" i say to her before she pulls me in for a kiss.
"here you go, eat up you probably need it" claudia says, putting a plate of pancakes and fruit down in front of me, completely interrupting my thoughts. i grab my fork and take slow bites, feeling a little sick. eventually i manage to eat it all after forcing myself.
"i kinda need to get back, i just wanna go home and take a shower and practice some music and stuff" i explain, feeling nervous to even think about leaving. "i can take you" finneas offers and i nod, "thank you".
i stand up and run upstairs to get my things before standing at the front door waiting for him. billie appears looking at me with disappointment. "i don't have the energy to stop you from leaving right now, but i need you to promise me that you'll think about everything. i don't want you to marry him and regret it, please just think about it for me" she says to me, standing at a distance and leaning against the wall, messing with the sleeves of her hoodie.
finneas comes in before i have time to speak, looking kinda awkward. "you ready" he asks. i look back at billie who has her eyes squeezed shut, she looks so hurt. i hand my things to finneas quickly and walk over to the blonde girl taking her in my arms and holding her tight.
she puts her arms around my waist and holds me strongly, not seeming like she wants to let go any time soon. "i love you more than anything" she says into my ear. a single tear falls down my face. "i love you too billie".
i let go of her and turn around to the door, not wanting to look at her one more time because i'm afraid that i won't be able to leave. i follow finneas out and get into his car, leaning my head back on his seat. he stays silent probably not wanting to question me too much. but i know he's concerned.
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after around a half an hour drive we arrive at my apartment. "do you want me to walk you inside?" he asks, obvious how nervous i am. "yes please" i say with a nod. we both get out of the car and i hold onto finneas' arm trying to get any kind of comfort. we head upstairs and stand outside my apartment.
i take a deep breath as finneas rubs my back trying to reassure me. i open the door and walk in seeing everyone there staring at me, they all look like they've been up all night, especially dan.
"finally, are you ok" he asks rushing over, his eyes immediately going down to my hand to see if my rings still there. i turn around to finneas and give him a hug thanking him for everything. "make sure she's alright for me, i know billie and i know how she reacts when she's hurt, if you desperately need my help then please call me" i say, i know dan can hear me but i don't care.
"remember what she said ok, think about everything before you commit" i nod and let go of him, letting him out of the front door.
"i really don't want any questions right now i'm drained" i say to dan and my friends who all nod.
YOU ARE READING
if we were meant to be (billieeilishxtatemcrae)
Teen Fiction"if we were meant to be we would've been by now"
