olivia and i pull up outside the gate of billies house, i take a deep breath and ring the buzzer waiting for someone to answer and let us in. i'm so nervous right now i can't even explain. liv rubs my leg with her hand trying to comfort me.
"hello" i hear, that's finneas' voice. "hey it's tate" i say into the little speaker thing. suddenly the gate begins opening and i slowly drive my car in, parking next to billies famous dodge challenger. i run my hand through my hair and sigh, ok let's do this.
i get out the car and see finneas waiting at the front door for me, "i told her your here, she looks a little nervous" he explains to me, giving olivia a smile. i nod and take a deep breath entering the house, all the memories of me and her rushing back to me. from us dancing round to random music, to us both crying in each other's arms.
i've been distracted this week, i haven't really thought about her, but being back here reminds me of how much it still hurts. as soon as i enter the living room, claudia rushes up to me and gives me the biggest hug, "congratulations girl" she says quietly into my ear.
i let go of her and look over her shoulder, seeing billie sat there on the sofa with her boyfriend. i bite my lip nervously and walk a little further into the living room with claudia by my side.
the blonde haired girl stands up, her hoodie hanging off her body, with her bike shorts underneath, her hair down like usual. "come on let's talk" she says, finding it hard to even make eye contact with me. i nod and follow her upstairs into the room she makes all her music in. we both sit down on chairs opposite each other, i've never felt so awkward and scared in my entire life.
"first of all before you speak, what you said at the show hurt, claiming that i've been using you and that i don't love you which you know isn't true. you know i love you more than anything and how much i wanted to give you the world, and how mad i am that i can't" she explains.
i look down and fiddle with my ring on my finger, sighing loudly. just seeing her now makes me realise how much i miss her. my eyes fill up with tears which i try to stop, but one falls straight down my cheek. i run my hand through my hair and wipe my face.
"what is that?" billie questions. i look at her with confusion. she brings her chair closer to me and grabs my hand, looking down at my ring finger. fuck.
i take deep breath, seeing the confusion plastered all over her face. "i'm engaged" i manage to say after forcing the words out of mouth. she frowns her eyebrows and all i see is sadness. "dan?" she asks meeting my eyes. i nod and instantly shoot up from her chair and walks around the room with her head in her hands.
"you can't fucking marry him" she shouts, throwing the closest thing to her in anger. i stand up and look at her, tears falling down my face. she rushes over to me and grabs my hand, pulling the ring off my finger and stuffing it into her pocket shaking her head.
"billie, please, give it back to me" i say, trying to be as calm as possibly.
"no, i'm not letting you marry him tate. your ruining your fucking life" she yells in my face.
"this was my choice billie" i say.
she shakes her head multiple times, "no, you can't, no" she says, her voice slightly calmer. before then before i expect it, she bursts out into tears and her body collapses into my arms from weakness. she soaks my shoulder as she cries uncontrollably, gripping onto me with everything she has left in her.
"i'll do anything" she says quietly, in between sniffles. all i feel right now is heartbreak and i want nothing but to give into her but i can't do that, i'm marrying him.
she pulls her head out of my neck and rests her forehead on mine, i reach into her pocket without her expecting it and get my ring back. "like you said billie, we can't be together, i'm moving on. you've moved on. i just couldn't let this happen without telling you" i tell her.
"i haven't moved on, i'm miserable without you here. i'm in your fucking hoodie, i don't leave the house, i haven't eaten and your out there getting engaged to him, no chance" she says, taking her forehead off mine and looking at me, her tears stopping.
"she's gonna walk down that isle in that white dress and become my wife, and we're going to have our life together, hopefully have kids and your not going to be anywhere in the picture you bitch" i hear from behind me, i turn around seeing dan stood in the doorway with claudia, finneas and liv. what the fuck is he doing here. he slowly walks over to us a smirk on her face as he worms his hand around my waist and gives it a squeeze.
billie grabs my arm and pulls me into her, protecting me before punching dan straight in the nose, knocking him back slightly. "she's never ever going to love you the way that she loves me, and i think you know that. actually that's probably why your trying to get her to marry you at 20, because you know that she won't be able to come back to me so easily" she yells.
"well if she didn't love me she wouldn't of said yes would she" he says making billie laugh sarcastically. i grip hold of her arm, making sure she doesn't try and hit him again.
"i bet if i got down on one knee right now and asked her to marry me, she would run straight into my arms, because let's face it, all she's ever wanted is me no matter how much i've fucked up she's always come back. she could be over there comforting you right now, but no, she's here holding me" bil says, turning her eyes to me. i look down, seeing my hands on her arm, my body pressed into hers.
"i know she loves you and i hate that, but i also know that she loves me too and that you can't be with her because you care about your career more, which is completely fine but i'd risk anything for that girl right there and that's the type of person she should be marrying, not someone who's scared of what other people will think and yeah , maybe if you did get down on one knee she would say yes, but your not going too, so i guess i have nothing to worry about" dan admits, i look at billies who's gone silent.
"i trust you more than anything and i just wanted to make sure you were ok. so, i'll see you at home babe, i'll get you your favourite from the store and we can have a movie night" he says to me, before sending me a smile and walking out.
YOU ARE READING
if we were meant to be (billieeilishxtatemcrae)
Teen Fiction"if we were meant to be we would've been by now"
