After life: A Supernatural Fanfiction

Ten

Dean's POV

In the morning, I wake up naturally. No nightmare, no anxiety, something evil could march through the door. It's the first night in years without. I haven't slept much, but these few hours were more relaxing than a whole night of sleep with nightmares.
I look at the other side of the bed, seeing Evangeline sleeping peacefully. Her head is still on my arm and I try to pull it away without waking her up. I still can't believe she needs sleep.
Slowly I get up, throwing the blanket over her again and as silent, as possible I exit the room.
I close the door without a noise when a voice makes me jump.
"Do you just creep out of Evangeline's room? Walk of shame, huh?"
I spin around, Sam stands in the hallway, his arms crossed over his chest, and he has a big grin on his face.
I roll my eyes at him, grunting: "No walk of shame, dude, leave me alone."
"Why? Because..."
"Nothing, Sam, just leave it."
"Dean? What is that about?" I can see the disappointment on his face. I know what he thinks.
"Did you two..." he asks further and points at me and the door because I'm not answering.
"God, no. Sam, she is..." but all I can do is gesturing with my head and hands and hope he gets what I mean.
"Oh," he says," I forgot she is a young angel."
I nod: "I need coffee."
I pass Sam, but he follows me to the kitchen.
While I pour myself a cup, he leans against the counter.
"Where is Eileen?" I ask behind my cup.
"Still sleeping," Sam answers shortly, only to point to the door again.
"Sam." I stop him, "I never talked about feelings and I will not start yet."
I put my cup on the table and start to leave the kitchen.
"Where do you go?" Sam asks behind me.
"Driving."
I make my way to the garage and get behind the wheel of Baby. I feel easier, free behind the wheel.
I drive out of the bunker towards town, thinking of last night. I don't regret it, there is nothing to mourn, but son of a bitch, I can't do this. To her, to me. This wouldn't end up good.
I feel torn. I swore to myself to never let someone get that near again.
I stop the car in front of a mall. I hate malls. But I go inside nonetheless and buy a few things we need.
The bench seat is loaded with bags and beer and long drinks. I really bought long drinks. And little umbrellas and straws. I glance at the stuff and chuckle, remembering how Evangeline didn't like the taste of beer. I shake my head, slam the door shut and drive home.
Sam, Eileen and Evangeline are sitting together in the main hall, a bunch of books on the tables.
I put the bags on the table as well, asking: "What's the matter?"
"We still try to figure out what Jesse wants. And how he wants it." Sam answers, his eyes not leaving the lines he is reading.
I glance over to Evangeline, she let her book down to her lap, looking at me. She smiles nervously but says nothing. I nod and grab something out of the bags.
I hand her a package.
"What is that?" she asks, turning the carton in her hands.
"It's a phone. Just in case."
"You know you can pray to me? I will hear it." but she opens the package and smiles like a child getting a new toy.
"I know, but I prefer this way."
She nods, now holding the phone in her hands.
"How do I use it?"
I sit down beside her, prepping the phone like putting all our numbers in. I explain how she could phone and message us.
I hand it back to her and she looks at the screen.
"What are all the other buttons?" She touches the screen and opens the camera.
"You can take pictures there."
"Really? That's awesome," she yells out and she starts to push the flashpoint. But she moves her hands too fast and all the pictures are blurry.
"Wait," I stop her movement by grabbing her hand, "look, like this."
I put the phone up and take a picture of Eileen and Sam. Evangeline looks curious over my shoulder, I can feel her breathing in my neck.
"See? That's better." I turn my face and my nose grazes hers slightly.
"Sorry," she whispers, clears her throat and backs away.
I give her the phone back: "I have to get the stuff in the kitchen."
She nods, still a smile around her lips.
I grab the stuff and leave as fast as I can.
In the kitchen, I slam everything on the counter. I lean against it with my palm, my head dangles between my shoulders.
Why the hell do I feel like a teenager?
My fingers grip the edge of the counter and my knuckles turn white.
"Hey," Sam's voice gets me out of my thoughts, "you need help?"
"No, I've been capable of putting food in the fridge since I was five. Thanks, Sam."
"I don't mean the food."
I turn towards him. He leans beside the door, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Huh?"
"I asked if I need to punch you?" Sam says.
"For what?"
"For being stupid."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Dean, even a blind man would see it."
"See what?"
"Could you stop playing more stupid? I saw how you look at her. Last night? Gosh, she was eating a freaking stew and I saw what she was doing to you! Even if she had no clue about it, you were going to explode, not say something dirty, like you usually would. And you did not, because it's different with her. It would affect her, maybe she wouldn't even understand. That's why."
"I don't know what you're talking about." No question, I know what he means.
"Dude, what is wrong with you?"
"What is wrong with me?" I march toward him to close the door. After I closed it, I go on: "What is wrong with you? You forgot what happens when people get close to us? They die, Sam!"
"Dean..." Sam sighs.
"Don't Dean me! It's true. Bobby, Charlie, Jo...."
"Li...." Sam wants to say a name I never wanted to hear again and I start to feel angry.
"I told you, say her name, and I will break your nose, and I still mean it."
"Dean, it's been ages."
"Doesn't change a thing."
"But..." Sam starts, but I try to stop him, without success, "no, let me speak. Hear me out. Dean, I see how you look at her. How your face changes, your whole body language is different. The last time I saw that was when you were with Lisa. Even though I was soulless, I saw what it did to you!"
"It?" I ask back. The anger slowly slips away. No one knows me better than Sam.
"Affection, joy, a normal life. For fucks sake, Love Dean."
"I don't...." I start, but he interrupts me.
"Maybe not now, but I swear I can almost feel it myself."
I remain silent now and think for a minute. Sam waits for me to say something.
I sigh, driving over my face with my palms before I speak: "You know what, Sam? Last night was the first night in years, in years, I slept peacefully. No nightmares, no flashbacks, nothing." I pace through the room. "But..."
"But what, Dean? There is no but!"
"Yes, there is!" I shout.
Sam's face faces the door. I know he thinks one of the girls could maybe hear us.
"Sam, if I let her get closer to me, or the other way around, she will get hurt. Don't you see that?"
I can now see Sam chuckling.
"What's so funny?" I ask with arms wide open, I get annoyed.
"You forgot something."
"And this is what?"
"She is an angel. She is able to defend herself."
"Oh, come on! She needs sleep and food. She is only a half-angel. I have no idea what Jack thought about making her like that."
"I can guess."
"So? Then guess." I lean at the counter, waiting for Sam to explain.
"She is made this way so that she can be more empathic, insightful, helpful, tolerant, kind-hearted and she can love. Dean, don't you remember Cas? How he was when he first joined us? He had to learn all these things, and with Evangeline, it's just natural. It's in her already. Maybe she has to learn other things, but not to be human."
I open my mouth to return something, something to modify what Sam just said, but I can't. He is right. But then I find something buried in my brain, deep down.
"She will leave." I simply answer.
"What? When?" Sam shouts out.
"Not yet, but she is still an angel. A weird one, but someday she will have to go back."
"Says who?"
"Jack. You heard what she told the first evening? She shouldn't have left. She is just allowed to be here."
"Dean, it's Jack. You really think he would take her away from you? After everything he gave us back?"
Sam has a point here, but I can't allow myself to believe. Faith has consistently failed me, and why should it be different this time?
But once more, Sam interrupts my thoughts.
"I saw it. On your desk."
I look at him with arched eyebrows.
"The job application."
"Oh, that, that was just...." I stumble over my own words, "nothing, that was...."
"You wanted to quit." and now I recognize Sam's eyes getting watery. I hate when he does that.
"Sammy..."
"No. Dean. If you had let me know, I wouldn't have dragged you out into this vampire nest. And you wouldn't have...."
I can't believe it: "Sam, don't you dare think it was your fault."
He wipes his face before he answers: "I do. Maybe I know better, but still...."
I approach him, taking him into our brotherly hug.
"Don't do this, Sam! I'm here."
"I know," Sam claps my back, "promise me something."
And he shoves me an arm length away, only to hold me by my shoulders.
"Depends," I say, grinning and I can see a smile on Sam's face again too.
"Promise, to not let anything get between you and some sort of happiness! You deserve it."
I mourn, and before I can contrary, he almost forces me:" Dean, come on, dude."
I glance down at my feet before I obey: "Ok, fine. I try."
"No, promise."
"For all I care, ok. I promise."
Sam's face lights up and he starts dragging me out of the kitchen.
"Perfect. Now, come on."
Together we head back to the main hall, where Eileen and Evangeline are not reading anymore. They sit next to each other, talking and laughing.
"Hey," I stop them, "what you talking about?"
"Oh," Eileen says," nothing you don't want to know about."
And both of them fall into laughter. First, Evangeline has her eyes closed and holds her belly, but when she comes down, her eyes land on me and again, I slightly feel like a teenager once more, feeling a move in my body I never expected ever to have again, when I look in her electric blue eyes. What did Jack think, bringing her into my life?
I got diverted by Sam's hand on my shoulder. I glance at him and he nods slightly to the angel.
I mouth silently: "What?"
And he makes a move with his head outside of the room.
"Go." he mouths back without a noise.
"Is there something we can help you with? You two remember I can read your lips?" Eileen's voice hits my ears.
"What? No." Sam and I speak in union and Eileen and Evangeline fall into laughter.
I roll my eyes and Sam huffs. Great, now the two women ally against us.
"Eve?" I ask, but since I don't use her full name, she doesn't respond immediately. First, when Eileen nudges her and points toward me, Evangeline looks up again.
"Oh, what? You mean me?"
"Someone else here with a name like that?" but I feel Sam's elbow in my ribs. I groan and correct myself: "Yeah, you."
I offer her a hand which she catches and I pull her with me.
At the other side of the bunker, I lead her into my room. When I close the door, I see her looking around. She inspects the pictures I attached to the wall.
She stops and her fingertips glide over the picture of Mom and me.
"How old were you?" she asks, not taking her eyes off the photo.
"Three, as far as I know."
"Oh, how cute," and I can see her smile, "I wish I could have had a childhood."
"I wish I would have had a different childhood," I mumble, but I'm standing beside her, so she hears what I'm saying.
Her face turns to me, and I can see sadness plastered on her face: "I'm sorry, you didn't have the childhood you deserved."
I shrug my shoulders: "I wouldn't be who I am now if it would have been different."
She nods and smiles: "That's true. But I think you didn't bring me here to talk about your childhood."
"Smart angel," I reply and I close the distance between us, so she has to look up to me even more.
I take a streak of her hair and put it away from her face, over her shoulder. She follows the movement with her eyes for a second and the moment her gaze meets mine again, I lean down and capture her mouth. Her response this time is faster than yesterday. She kisses me back immediately and feels natural. She snatches my shirt, as I do with her hair, to hold each other in place.
I request access between her lips and she spreads them so that I can tickle her tongue with mine. She meets me, and we swirl around each other.
Now and then, I suck on her lower lip and I can hear her giggling.
I break the kissing, leaning my forehead against her. I glance at Eve and I see her eyes closed but a smile on her lips.
"You enjoy this?" I whisper.
"Yes, very much," she mutters back, noting her head slightly.
"Then wait, what else I have in mind doing with you." I rumble into her ear.
I expected her to shoot away, being afraid or something like that, but instead, she just replies: "I can hardly wait."
Now it's on me to shoot my head away, to face her. With wide eyes, I look down at her, gobsmacked. A mischievous grin emerges on her face and she says: "I do know about sex. I'm maybe young for an angel, that doesn't mean I'm dumb."
"I never..." but she mutes me with a finger against my lips.
"I know, I just wanted to make it clear."
I nod and she places her hand around my neck again. Slowly she drags my head down, so our lips can meet again.
I want to shove her towards the bed, but the door flies open.
"Sorry," Sam shouts, "but we have a visitor."
I breathe out loud: "Ever heard of knocking?"
"Yes, sorry," Sam backs away, "but it's Rowena. I think she has a plan."