After life: A Supernatural Fanfiction

Thirty- Six

Dean's POV
Sam and I manage to bring Eileen out of the canyon, even though I stumble more than ever. Not only do I feel exhausted, but also a deep emptiness inside me. All I want to do is lay down, drift into a dreamless sleep and never wake up again.
Sam drives us home and he doesn't even dare to ask how I feel. While staring out of the window, I literally feel the looks he gives me. I don't want to talk, I just want to forget. Want to go back to the time I woke up in heaven. Meeting her for the first time. And even it's utterly against everything I believe in, I start to pray silently.
"Jack? Jack, if you can hear me, please, I'm begging you, just let me know that she is safe in heaven and not caught up in the empty. That's all I want to know."
But of course, he doesn't answer. How could I expect something different from my own son?
"Son of a bitch!" I yell out so loud and bang my fist against the glove box repeatedly so hard Sam almost loses control over the car.
"Dean!" He yells back, but I still punch the car until the glove box is covered in bruises and my knuckles bleed. Sam stops the car and tries to hold me from knocking the vehicle over and over again. We almost got into a fight against each other over this, but it ends in a deep, brotherly hug.
It's the first time ever, I cry bitterly in Sam's arms. He claps my back firmly:" I know Dean, I know."
After squeezing him one more time, I lean back into the car seat again. I look at my bleeding knuckles and get a cloth to wrap it around.
"Get us home." I rumble.
Sam nods with one last look at me.
"Dean!" he yells out and points to my chest.
"What?"
"Dean, the necklace! It's still glowing."
First then, I remember the gift from Eve and take the tag between my fingers to hold it up. Sam is correct, it's still glowing.
"That means she is in heaven. Now we know for sure," Sam interrupts my thoughts," maybe you can pray to her?"
I nod slowly and start to say a silent prayer towards her, telling her how much I love her and no matter how hard it is for me, I'm glad she is saved up in heaven again.
Sam goes on driving. A short time later, my telephone starts ringing, but I don't pick up. After mine stops, Sams is ringing, but with a sad look towards me, he doesn't pick up either. We are both not in the mood to talk to anyone now. We know Eve is alive, but we still lost her.
In the evening, we get to the bunker again. Sam takes care of Eileen, it seems like she hit her head pretty bad.
Again, for I have no idea how many times I start to drink my pain away. Sitting in the library, sipping the booze, it's not only pain that rushes through me. The anger gets bigger and bigger. Anger of myself, anger against Jesse, against Eve, that she sacrificed herself and anger against Jack, to take her away from me.
When I'm at the bottom of the bottle, I fondle out my phone from my pocket, dialing a number.
When the phone is picked up at the other end of the line, I slur into the speaker:" Rowena?"
"Dean?"
"Yeah, come here... The bunker..."
"Are you drunk, Winchester?"
"Yes and for a pretty good reason. So now, move your witchy, bitchy ass up here."
I end the call and right after it, I hear the clicks of high heels echoing. I turn in my chair and Rowena comes into the room.
"Always ready for a Winchester," I hear her saying, but she stops when she comes nearer," what's wrong with you now?"
"We did it," my voice comes out in a smush," Jesse is history."
"But," Rowena replies, confused," that's good. No one thought you could manage to."
"Well, Eve did," I wave the glass of whiskey around.
"And she is still alive?" Rowena asks.
"Yes, and No, that's why you are here!"
"Pardon?"
"I want a deal."
Rowena's eyes widen in shock.
"Does your brother know about this?"
"It's none of his business."
"I really think he will think differently."
"I don't care."
"You don't care?" Sam appears in the room," Dean, what the hell are you talking about."
"Sam, just leave," I say quietly," I really don't need you here right now."
"You must be joking. Dean, you can't make a deal. Especially because Eve is not dead!"
I get up from my chair, so fast and angry, the chair falls over.
"I can and I will! I want her back!" I scream out loud, but Rowena answers calmly:" Dean, even if I want to, I can't! I can't interfere in heaven. I have no control over angels."
In my frustration, I pull out my gun from my jeans and hold it against Rowena's head.
"Dean!" I hear Sam shouting out my name, but Rowena just rolls her eyes at me.
I look at her and grunt:" Then find a spell and make it possible. I don't care what it costs."
She sighs and slowly stands up. My hand with the gun follows her movement. Rowena lifts a hand and grabs the weapon carefully, pulling it away from her head. My shaking hand doesn't flinch and allows her to pull it down gently.
"I understand that your heart is broken, Dean, but there is nothing I can do for you."
She leaves me and I stay behind, standing alone. I turn to watch Sam and Rowena, seeing how she pats his shoulder and says:" Take good care of him. Oh and by the way, you should talk to some other hunters, I heard some rumors." then she vanishes.
Sam, first confused by Rowena's words, now looks at me with his typical worried face and I can just look at him, feeling embarrassed about my outburst.
"What were you thinking, Dean?"
"I...I didn't...Sam..." I still look at him, again tears ascend to my eyes," but I told you, you would have talked me out."
"Of course, I would."
"I know and I couldn't let you do that."
"But Dean..."
"Sam..." I whisper," I want her back."
First, then Sam comes up to me and pulls into a hug.
"I know Dean, I know. We will figure something out like we always do."
"This time feels different."
Sam leads me to sit down again before he replies:" Because you are emotionally involved. Hey, we always figured something out, right?"
I just nod, wiping my face.
"Dean, go to sleep."
"I don't think I can. But you, go to Eileen. How is she?"
"She was awake a while ago. She has a nasty headache. But she will be fine."
"Ok, that's good." I clap his shoulder.
"Try to sleep, really, Dean."
"I will later," I smile, agonized.
Sam claps my shoulder one last time and heads back to Eileen. I search for another bottle to drink and go on with drinking myself into a sleeping coma.
Waking up the next time, I hear Sam pacing through the room and talking to someone.
I have a very blurry vision, but I see the question mark above Sam's head.
"Ok, thank you, Mitch, for confirming."
I shake my head to get a clear thought and process what Sam is talking about. I wave an arm and when Sam glances over to me, he just shrugs his shoulders. Frustrated, I lay my head back on the table.
"Hey, Rebecca Blackout!" I hear someone saying and when I peek through one eyelid, I see Jody standing in front of me, holding a tray. I wipe over my face, getting in a sitting position.
"Jody? What are you doing here?"
"Well, first of all, Sam called me and when one of my boys needs me, I'll be right there."
"I don't need anyone." I sigh and turn slightly away from her.
"Dean!" Jody sits down beside me," listen, I don't care how grown-up you are. I know I'm not your mom but hearing you are in this condition," she wiggles her pointing finger at me," I will always take the next flight."
"You flew here?" I ask her, turning back to her.
"Yes, it was the fastest way. And now, eat. We need you sober."
"Sober? For what?"
But instead of Jody, Sam answers:" For what I'm going to tell you. That on the phone was Mitch, you remember him?"
I nod.
"Well, he and many other hunters in the whole country experienced the same thing. Either the monster they were hunting disappeared or transformed back to their human nature."
By the end of his sentence, Sam sits down. Jody and I stare at him in disbelief.
"Could you repeat that? I guess I'm still drunk."
"You are not," Sam replies," the missed phone calls from yesterday, after..." but he stops and after a glance, he starts again," well, all these phone calls were hunters, and I talked to a few of them. They all say the same thing."
Jody and I share a look, not sure what that means in any instance.
"Dean, do you know what that means?" Sam breaks the silence, but I shake my head and I feel the headache coming,
"Eve..." he starts and my head snaps back at him. Only her name makes my stomach twitch and not in a good way.
"Tales about the Ark say that it grants one wish and I guess she...."
"She wished for us to be safe." I complete his sentence and Sam nods. I hide my face in my palms, knowing I can't gather the strength to hold back the tears.
"Since when does a Winchester give up that fast?" and now it's Claire's voice ringing in my ears. I look behind me and she stands in the doorway, helping Eileen to join us at the table.
I look back at Sam:" Who else did you call?"
"Well, since Rowena isn't able to help, I thought we need every pair of eyes to read all the books we need to read."
"I don't think you will find any answer to our problem. Or have you ever heard of someone dragging an angel out of heaven?"
"Well, Rowena did when we dragged you back."
"By accident and because Jack let her go. I guess heaven is closed now."
While we discuss, there is a strong knock at the main door of the bunker.
Everyone is getting up, but I say:" No, I need to get out of this conversation." and get up to the stairs. The bangs are getting stronger and I rip the door open.
On the doorstep stands Garth and with his big goofy smile, he says:" Dean!" and he puts me in his typical embrace. It's some sort of comfort I didn't know I needed, but it feels good.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him and invite him with a motion of my arm to come in.
"You won't believe me when I tell you," he replies, stepping down the stairs and greeting the other with a wave," Hey guys! Good to see you!"
We both get to the table and wait for Garth to tell his story.
"Guys..." he starts but Sam interrupts him and continues:" You are not a werewolf anymore."
Garth's eyes blink and confused, he asks:" How... I mean, yes, but...."
"Garth, you remember we are hunters, right? A lot of people called us. Why didn't you call?" Sam says.
"This good news I can't share over the phone with my two oldest friends." Garth answers, smiling," this is amazing. Now my family is able to be a part of the real world. No hiding, no eating animals' hearts."
It's the first time since yesterday I can feel something other than sadness. Garth is so utterly happy that I'm even able to give him a slight smile. He mirrors my expression but then tilts his head suspiciously:" Dean, what's wrong? And don't tell me anything, you are like an open book to me."
But again, there is a knock on the door above us.
"Whoever else you have called Sam, they are saving me." I get up once more and I open the door.