You Are The One For Me (Completed)

Chapter50:DAY-365

04/06/19

TUESDAY

PRESENT

I hear a knock on my door, distracting my thoughts. I quickly wipe away the tears and slowly raise my head to look up. I switch on the light and take a moment to adjust to the light in my room. The door half opens and Alex peeks his head in. I hope he is here with some good news. "Come in," I say quietly.

He walks in soon and stands near the bed. "Are you okay?" He asks.

I just nod. I can't be okay until I apologize to Ryan. I'm carrying a stone in my heart, since that day. "Ryan is shifted to a room, and he wants to see you," Alex informs.

I sit straight and a small smile forms on my face. "How's he?"

"Much better," Alex smiles at me. Thank god! I wanna see him right now!

**********

I slowly open the door of Ryan's hospital room and walks in. He's leaning on the headrest, his forehead bandaged and hand plastered. I stop in tracks. It was my fault! A drop of tear falls down my cheek. It's my fault! "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm sorry for everything." I walk next to his bed and sit on a stool. I take his hand in mine and squeezes. "Are are you okay?"

He slowly nods, "I'm fine, Jana."

"I... I'm really sorry," I apologize again.

He sighs, "It isn't your fault."

I shake my head. It is just my fault. I don't think my apologizing will be enough for what I have done. Everything happened just because of me...

Ryan rubs my palm smoothly. "It was an accident. Just don't blame yourself," he tries to convince me.

I stay quiet, looking down at my lap. I'm the only one to blame for. "I kissed Noah on the night of the accident and I'm very sorry for that. I shouldn't have done-"

"You love him."

I immediately look up at Ryan. I can't read his face. How could I cheat on him? I feel like I betrayed him. He leaves my hand. He hates me... I can't accept the fact that I made him hate me. I gulp a lump formed in my throat and I slowly swallow. Are we done?

He slowly places his hand on my cheek and strokes my chin softly. "I still love you, but not as much as he does."

"Please don't say that we are breaking up," I plead. I can't take it anymore...

"We already broke up," he says. On the night at the amusement park... Was that really our breakup? I part my lips to say something but there isn't anything I could say. After all, I deserve it for cheating on him.

"You love him," he says that once again.

"Ryan, please," I plead. I don't want to hear that. This is what I have got for loving Noah.

"Jana, it's okay to admit your feelings," Ryan pauses. "You love him, right?"

There is no point in hiding. I slowly nod, "I do." That barely comes out as a whisper.

"You loved him from the beginning but you didn't realize it because you were already my girlfriend by then," he stops. I did love Noah from the beginning... "You want him to be with you always even as a friend because you love him and you never had a reason to break up with me."

Why is he making me feel more guilty? I agree I was wrong and I did big mistakes I can't take back. "Ryan, I'm sorry. But I still love you." Do I? Do I have to make a mistake again?