Our Memories Together 2

4.1

"I miss this," JJ said as he and Hadiyeh had found themselves laying on one of London's hilltops overlooking the city.

"I'm going to miss you." Hadiyeh sighed, recently she and JJ had become more co-dependent on each other, not that it was a bad thing, but they had lost focus on each other, being together was a distraction from their everyday busy lives, only falling back on each other when needed most, their relationship had lost its glamour. 

"Come on tour with me." 

"You are not going to want a bloated moody pregnant woman with you on tour," Hadiyeh chuckled, "And if I'm on tour whose taking care of Jannah?"

"There is no evidence of you being pregnant yet and we can take Jannah too."

"A child needs a stable environment and a tour bus isn't what anyone would call ideal." 

"But that's still time away, the album needs to drop first." JJ drew circles over her silky clothes as he rested his head on her chest, "It could do shit and my management could drop me."

"I doubt so, I've heard a few and I think you'll do just fine," She smiled kissing his head of hair, as he giggled childishly, curling further into her, his head completely burrowed into her neck.

"Hads?"

"Hm?" 

"Do you think I should even go on tour, I could just stay here and-"

"We talked about this," She sighed drawing elementary shapes onto his naked torso, "You're going on tour and you're going to do amazing,"

He nodded giggling as Hadiyeh tickled his sides gently, wanting to take his mind off of the subject at hand. They had gone to dinner at The Swan in London, it was their restaurant, one flooded with memories of each other, and then he had driven them up to a hilltop in London and had put a blanket down for them to lie on and watch the sunset. Since they had arrived they had laid down, cuddling to keep the warmth between them, the autumn weather being cold and crisp. JJ had found his head on her chest and his hand around her waist, Hadiyeh had found herself in the comfort of the soft lush blanket and her hand up JJ's shirt, for no apparent reason besides the fact that it was often how they slept.

"Stop." He thrashed in her arms, squirming out of her grasp. 

"Alright fine." She rolled her eyes playfully, holding her hands up in defeat. 

"Good." He pouted, wiggling back into her hold. This time she put her hands on his hips. 

"I never understood why you were so insecure about your hips." She chuckled, "I've always found them adorable."

"I never told you I was insecure." 

"You didn't have to, I saw it in the way you stared at the mirror for hours every day, the way you pull your boxers and trousers up to cover them." 

Suddenly JJ felt her words cut deeper than they should have, ever since he had begun bulking he was never able to shred off his hips and it had bothered him a lot. He was always insecure about the way they looked, even now he was immensely insecure about his thighs, another reason as to why he only wore baggy trousers and joggers.

"I hate you." JJ cringed, his insecurities couldn't have been that obvious, could they?

"Shocker," She chuckled.

"You could show me how much you love them." He smiled against her neck. Hadiyeh could feel the subtle building of tension between them. 

"Hm, really?" She mused, she enjoyed taking her time, it worked him up to no extent and she found it lovable how flustered he could get in the shortest amount of time.

"Yeah, really." He looked up at her, through his lashes, his brown eyes doe, innocent and naive. And just then Hadiyeh realised truly how young they were. She was only 26 with a child and JJ was 28, both living in the prime of their lives. 

Hadiyeh grew up in a family where they were all beautiful children, they were all built like models and had always been worshipped for their looks, she had never understood insecurities, she always tried her best to help out others with their physical insecurities but it was hard to understand things when she hadn't experienced it. 

That night, it was lust and desire, but it was more meaningful than that. It was love. Maybe they had lost the glamour of being in love, yet their relationship was still full of love, affection and passion. They had grown up together, having been there for each other through the roughest and shittiest of times. They shared memories, happy ones as well as sad ones. They laughed together, they cried together. Standing strong together. Not only then but even now. Forever. 

"I love you, I love the way that without me saying anything you can read me like a book, yet, you're so mysterious and unexplainable," JJ breathed out from next to her the next morning. 

"Oh God, if we're going to stand here and talk about what we love about each other, I would be here for a day and a half, telling you about how cute and adorable you are." She pressed a kiss to his temple, "Starting with your forehead."

"Ayo!" JJ turned to face her a grin on his face, he tried to point out a flaw of hers, yet nothing came to mind, she truly was perfect. 

~~~

"JJ."

"Hm?" 

"What if I am infertile?"

"Then my mum was right and I've married someone for them and not the fact that they can have kids or not." JJ shook his head, the question was even stupid to ask in the first place, it wouldn't have made difference whether she was infertile or not. 

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, yeah, when those pictures got out, my mum came to our apartment and started going on about how you were the one that pushed for adoption because you were infertile." JJ rolled his eyes at the stupidity of his mother. 

"What the fuck?" Hadiyeh had tried hard to restrain herself from saying anything bad about JJ's mother, but it just seemed to slip out.

"I know," He nodded, "It's bullshit, I was the first to even see Jannah and sign the papers, but it's not even that, even if you are, I'll love you no matter what."

"Gosh, watch your tongue, you're going to make me blush."

Written: 30/09/2021

Published: 30/09/2021

(A/N: I'm publishing this and then ghosting for the rest of tonight <3333 Also I wanted to brin awareness over the fact that men too get insecure about their bodies, a guy-friend of mine was going through body dysmorphia and no one knew until he reached out. So men are human too, take this as a sign to show the men in your life some love <33)