~𝔼𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕪- my poems!~

Life

To be honest, I've never been much for apogee and absence

Stick by those I love unless I sense

Something's wrong, they'll hurt me

Please let me go, don't smile at me with so much glee

I'm not yours, I was never meant at such a young age to glow

It's just my problem, I guess, I'm so beautiful to so many

But why, at this young age, does my heart rush when I see a man

I really shouldn't want any

Or was this God's plan

Repeating questions I don't want to answer, zone out of homework and dream of my future life

I only pray, if I may be blessed with a good husband, I'll be sweet, his dream wife

But let's return to math problems and cry about my skill

Studying is like climbing up an endless hill

Always slipping, tripping

When I get bad grades, the hill's tipping

Why, my parents wonder, are my grades so bad

Their constant blame of factors that don't even make sense make me sad

To be honest, I don't know why I'm so stupid, I just don't try

So yell at me, make me cry

I never said I wanted to be educated anyway

Cursing extra work every day

Now, listen, school was fun until 7th grade

That was the grade when everything changed, I had to suffer in silence without any aid

For once, I wondered, 'Who created these bullies? Why can't they just die?"

All this bullying and pressure really did nothing but make me pathetic, I

Never wondered the purpose of someone's existence until then

Stupid adults moving about me like one big fat mother hen

Don't you understand, your arguments of positivity with me, why I should smile and be happy

Just make me less cheerful, make me try hard to pretend to be all peppy

For once, I understood why some people hated life

But, thankfully, I had one beacon in this strife

My kind friends, I don't know if they still like me anymore

But, back then, they opened a glowing golden door

The way to happiness was just love and dreams of cuddles

Keep me alive with promises of sweet feelings of melted chocolate muddles

I've always said cuddles and food are the way to my heart, I don't lie

If I don't get lots of cuddles and food, then it's goodbye

But, then, again, as I embark on a new ship, the challenging one of eighth grade

I wonder far more, what impact on the people around me have I made

I'm entering a new zone after this middle school

Maybe one where I even rule

I've never been much for being popular, nothing attracts boys or girls to me

All the others have a boyfriend, a big house, some possession flying about them like a bee

I'm just one solo girl, sometimes sad without any friends, standing in that tree alone

Bouncing a basketball against the wide bole, I'm a weirdo because I don't play on my phone

Hit my face hard instead of catching the ball, may be bleeding a bit, I don't cry

If I said it didn't hurt, I would sound too bad, and it would be a lie

Undo my hair like I do when I'm sad and let it fly

It's getting higher in life than I'll probably ever be

This is my life so far

Despite what I dream about, I'm no shining star

Hopefully, some day, I'll have a good source of cuddles and food and be happy

But until then, I'll just order some sweets and ask for some cuddles, make it snappy

I wish for a decent life when I grow up, free of strife

But, until then, I'll handle my child life

No taxes but bullying, no work but school, no mortgage but forcing friends

Until all this childhood rapidly ends

This is my life

Why should I not love myself, no matter what they say

Speak my own words, no matter how much the cost may

Hurt or heal me, I don't care, speak what I need to say, love what I want to love

A beautiful yet sometimes dark symbol of peace, like a mourning dove

I'll quickly mature by holding those I love close to my heart

Don't try to rush, but successfully reach adulthood's start

And gain my dreams, hopefully

Gently yet fiercely, I poke the enemies away from me

Try all you want, you can't block my skill and beauty

What do the public think of me? I'm an average girl, eh?

Quickly, rethink that, put your eyes on me and watch carefully

I'll do something you would never imagine me to do, and I'll do it exquisitely

So am I extraordinary now that I achieved something you thought I couldn't do

Well, a million other people may be able to do it, but what about you

Oh, I assumed that since the beginning

You were just jealous, so you yelled at me until it set my ears ringing

Well, thanks for that, you've proven to me some adults are as immature as children my age

Continue being childish, I've already rushed ahead on my road and left you far behind

If this is all actually in my frozen future and it looks beautiful and fun, can I break the ice now

Oh, that's your response, I'm too weak, how

Perhaps I must wait, return to my childhood with a smile on my face

Close this with a satisfied feeling, I'll continue to run my race

Until the next time I see you

Goodbye!