Tell Me How (Isla De Verde Series #3)

Chapter 20

Nanatili ang pag-awang ng bibig ni Mama nang makita ang hawak kong pregnancy kit. My lips trembled as my body started to shake in fear and nervousness.

"I-Is that yours, Felicity Grayce?" Malamig ang boses niyang sinabi.

Tears started falling from my eyes. I don't know how to tell her about my situation. Besides, ngayon ko lang din naman nalaman na buntis nga ako at si Agamemnon ang ama.

If only that night didn't happened, I wouldn't get pregnant! Pero huli na ang lahat. Lahat ng bagay ay nasa huli ang pagsisisi. How could I tell him this? He doesn't even love me! He only loves me as his friend.

"M-Ma..." My voice broke. Nakita ko ang pagkamuhi at galit sa kan'yang mata nang lumapit siya patungo sa akin at sinampal ako ng malakas.

My lips parted in shock. This isn't the first time that she slapped me but it still hurts, you know? I love my mother so much even though she couldn't take care of me and can't love me back, too. Kasi para sa'kin, ina ko pa rin siya at hindi na iyon magbabago pa.

"Y-You!" Dinuro niya ako habang nanggagalaiting tumingin sa akin. "How dare you do this to me, huh?! Wala akong anak na disgrasyada!" Sigaw niya. My heart clenched in pain with her chosen words.

She's right. Disgrasyada nga talaga ako. I'm only second year in college and yet I was already impregnated by someone who can't never ever love me as a woman at all.

My lips quivered. Pilit kong sinasalo ang mga luhang parang gripo kung tumulo sa aking mga pisngi ngunit wala rin itong saysay.

I tried to reach for my mother but she just moved away from me as if I'm the most disgusting person she'd ever known. Pain crossed my eyes as I looked at my beloved mother.

When I was a kid, all I wanted was for her to love me at all but it didn't happen. Akala ko kapag naging mabait ako at naging masunurin ay mamahalin niya ako kagaya ng pagmamahal niya kay Via at Valeen ngunit hindi iyon kailanman nangyari.

As I grew older, she just loathed me even more. She hates me to the core that she doesn't even want to see me breathing, I guess. Ganoon ba talaga ako kamuhi-muhi? Is her hate for my father to that extent that she would even burst it out on me instead?

I was just a kid but she didn't see it. Kung ituring niya ako ay tila ba nakakaintindi na ng mga makamundong bagay sa batang edad. She would even beat me sometimes for reminding her of my father. It hurts me so much. I've had enough ever since.

Pagod na pagod na ako. Ang tagal ko nang lumalaban pero kahit isang beses ba may taong lumaban para sa'kin? I bet there's none.

"I-I can explain, M-Mama—" I got startled after receiving another shot of her palm on my face.

"You're such a slut! Pokpok ka, alam mo 'yon?!" Nandidiring aniya. Mas lalo kong naramdaman ang sakit sa kaibuturan ng aking puso. My tears fell non-stop. "Hindi kita pinalaki para lang magpabuntis sa kung sino-sinong lalaki! You're such a disgrace to our family! Lumayas ka rito! Layas!"

Halos magkanda-talisod ako nang pilit niya akong itulak palabas ng aking kuwarto. Iyak lamang ako ng iyak habang pilit na nagmamakaawa sa aking ina na tama na. Tigil na...but she won't just listen to me.

Her eyes are full of rage and desire to make me leave this house in an instant. Ayaw niya talaga sa'kin. Bakit ang sakit-sakit? Will she ever love me someday? I hope she find the reason to learn how to love me as her daughter one day because I'm looking forward to it. Up until now, kahit ang sakit-sakit ng puso ko.

Na kahit ipinagtatabuyan niya ako at sinasabihan ng kung ano-ano, I still love my mother. She's the one who gave birth to me...she may loath me and my father pero masama bang maghangad ng pagmamahal ng isang ina?