Shades Of Blue

38. Still Frame

Benjie

October

Age 20

The box had arrived that morning. Ellie said it would be a few small items from Benjie's bedroom at home. He smoked a joint as he rifled through his old belongings, setting what he wanted to keep aside and planning to toss out the rest.

Neel sat next to him on the couch, watching Benjie go through the box on the coffee table. His line of sight kept drifting to one object Benjie had pulled out to keep. It was a framed photograph, developed on shiny paper, showing Mr. Archer and his son smiling in front of a tent and campfire. The photograph made Neel sick to his stomach. He picked it up, fighting the desire to throw it off the balcony or smash it on the tiles in the kitchen. "Why do you wanna keep this thing?" he questioned.

Arching a brow, Benjie took the photo from Neel.

"Did you forget what he did to you?" Neel wondered, his temper heated.

"No," Benjie said. "He was still my dad."

Neel scoffed and leaned back on the couch, pulling at his own hair. "He was a fucking monster."

Benjie gnawed his bottom lip hesitantly, in awe at how heartless Neel could be. "Well, maybe that isn't how I wanna remember him."

Almost at a loss for words, Neel stood from the couch and began to pace, strangely upset. "You sound delusional. Like, do you hear yourself? That man was a piece of garbage that beat his wife and children. I hope he's in hell. It's where he belongs."

Benjie sucked his teeth and continued to sort through the box of keepsakes. "Why don't you just keep your opinion to yourself. I don't talk shit about your dad."

"Well, he is a good parent," Neel countered, crossing his arms over his chest.

Picking up the photo of himself and his dad, Benjie was unable to find the rage fueling Neel's outburst. "Do you know how he died?"

Winding down a couple of degrees, Neel stopped pacing. "Yeah...Kidney failure, right?"

Benjie clicked his tongue, trying to push his sorrow to the side. "The doctors say he suffered. He died alone, wasn't found for a couple weeks. He's been punished, Neel."

With sympathy, Neel gave his shoulder a squeeze before he joined him on the couch again.

"You know what's weird?" Benjie thought aloud, his focus back on the old photograph. "I never got to know him as a person, you know? When I found out he died, I realized I don't know anything about him outside of the family bullshit. I guess I know what kind of music he was into and what he did for work, but I don't know who his favorite band was or what he did for fun when he was younger. I just kinda wish I'd asked."

Hesitantly, Neel gave Benjie's knee an affectionate rub. "I got to know him a little after, you know..."

Surprised, Benjie set the photograph back onto the table.

"He liked sports. He played second base through college before he busted his knee. Apparently, he was pretty good, but I don't know if we should take his word for it," Neel informed him, forcing himself to be pleasant for Benjie's sake. "He liked heavy metal, he always wanted his coffee too sweet, and he never forgave himself for what he did. He really loved you, but only once you were gone."