Shades Of Blue

25. Fool

*WARNING FOR SEX, DRUG USE AND SMOKING*

Benjie

August

Age 17

Happiness had never come easily to Benjie, nor had it ever been this continuous before. He would never admit it aloud, fearing that it would be snatched away. The emotion seemed to behave under the rules of the Observer Effect; as soon as he acknowledged the feeling, it would alter into pain.

Weeks ago, they had said the words, declared their love for one another and admitted they were well beyond friendship. Benjie could feel it every time Neel looked at him. He felt loved, lusted after, cherished. When Benjie stopped to think about it, Neel had always looked at him this way.

That morning, Benjie worked up the nerve to ask Neel on a proper date, to meet at the treehouse before stargazing in a clearing Benjie had found. He knew his lover was a romantic, and it was a good opportunity to show Neel that he was loved, lusted after, cherished.

He sat patiently on a boulder by the treehouse, but something wasn't right. Neel was annoyingly punctual and always arrived everywhere before Benjie did, but tonight that wasn't the case. A half hour had passed since the agreed upon time to meet, but Benjie tried not to think too much about it. People ran late sometimes, even Neel. When another 20 minutes passed, Benjie decided to call.

The line trilled one and a half times before Neel rejected the call and sent Benjie to voicemail. He ended the call and began to punch in a text message.

Benjie: What's going on?

He waited for a reply as the woods around him grew darker. Time seemed to stretch into an endless, black expanse until, after an eternity, Neel replied.

Neel: Not much. U?

Benjie: Waiting...

Ten minutes passed.

Benjie: Hello???

Neel: Sorry. Watchin' a movie.

Benjie's breath caught in his throat. He chewed his lip with doubt as he thumbed in a reply.

Benjie: Weren't we supposed to chill tonight?

Another eternity.

Benjie: Dude, where the FUCK are you??? I've been waiting out here since sundown and you're watching a fucking movie??

From deep within his chest came a primitive growl as he erased the last message from the text box. Defeated, Benjie stuffed his phone into his pocket and walked home. He'd waited too long already. Neel had forgotten about him.

When Benjie arrived home and walked up the front steps to his house, his phone chimed with a message notification.

Neel: Fuck. Sorry, man. I completely forgot. I promised my girl I'd go to the movies with her.

Benjie stared at the message on his flip phone in disbelief.

Neel: Call you after? ; )

Benjie chortled, his lips thinning as he fought the urge to punch the foyer wall.

He's fucking her right now, his subconscious told him. If he's not too tired, he'll fuck you afterwards, when he isn't busy with some other side piece he hasn't told you about. That's what you are. A piece on the side. Neel is busy with the one he chooses, his girl.

Blood boiling with rage, Benjie scrolled through his contact list and called one of the few numbers inside. "Hey," he said in a put on, upbeat tone when the line picked up. "Feel like coming over?"