Shades Of Blue

59. Lost Puppy

Neel

December

Age 20

The winter sun streamed through the cracks in the blinds, casting prison bars of shadows across Neel's sleeping form. Rough hands gently touched his skin as warm lips kissed his bare stomach. Neel's face was aglow with a smile, his eyes still closed as blonde stubble tickled his skin and a wet, chubby tongue ran along his abs.

"That feels nice," Neel cooed as he woke up. He held his hand over his eyes against the light leaking into the small room. Letting out a relaxed sigh, he ran his fingers through Benjie's messy hair.

"What do you wanna do today?" Benjie wondered as he looked up from Neel's stomach.

"Stay in bed with you," he confessed.

Benjie cast him a mischievous glance and crawled up Neel's body. "We can do that," he said before he kissed Neel's lips.

Neel pulled away so he could stare into those sorrowful yet gorgeous eyes. "I miss you."

With a chortle, Benjie put a hand to Neel's cheek. "I'm right here."

Neel let Benjie kiss him passionately as he ran his fingers through sandy blonde hair, taking pause when his fingers traced over warm, wet chunks of hair, jagged bone, and ripped skin. For a moment, Neel could swear he could feel a small piece of brain matter a bit of his skull had collapsed into. He pulled his hand away, not with terror, but with an unreal curiosity. The tips of his fingers were red, tinted with darkened clots of blood and flecks of shattered bone. Neel looked to his lover for answers.

Benjie was now gray and haggard, skin peeling and sloughing off of his face. His light hair was dusted with dirt and dried blood. At the front of his throat was a hole that quivered with each breath he took. When his mouth opened to speak, soil spilled from within, carrying worms and bugs that had been feasting on him from within. "What's wrong?"

Neel awoke in his dorm room, alone. His chest heaved against his sweat soaked shirt as he tried to catch his breath. It had been two and a half years and that nightmare still terrorized him almost every night. Even though Benjie was out of the coma and technically fine, the dream still plagued him.

He swung his legs off the bed and set his feet on the floor, head in his hands as he tried to shake the image of Benjie as a ghoulish corpse. It was typical for these dreams to intensify around the holidays. He had spent the previous two Christmases in Benjie's hospital room, holding onto a limp hand and crying himself to sleep to the sounds of the machines keeping his lover alive.

Neel was supposed to fly back home today for winter break, but it didn't feel right to leave when Benjie was here. Despite this, he got up, had a shower, and got ready for the day and his trip.

He stood in front of his residence building, waiting for his cab when his phone began to ring. Benjie's name glowed on the call display, prompting Neel to pick up. "Hey," he said with a smile that spanned ear to ear.

On the other end of the line, Neel could hear heavy traffic in the background as Benjie shivered. "Help," Benjie pleaded weakly through chattering teeth.

Neel canceled his cab and begged a friend from his building to borrow her car before he drove toward the resort Benjie had mentioned. Nearly halfway there, Neel spotted Benjie standing in the snow by the highway's shoulder. He pulled the car up next to him and, before he could shift the car out of drive, Benjie opened the door and slouched into the passenger's seat. The hood of his sweatshirt was pulled up and over his head to hide his face. Even still, the breath caught in Neel's throat when he spied a glimpse of what had happened to him. Out of either instinct or habit, Neel tried to touch Benjie's cheek to comfort him. His right eye was swollen shut, his lips were split and swelling, and dry blood was encrusted around his nose and mouth.