Shades Of Blue

6. Flutter

*WARNING FOR UNDERAGE DRINKING*

Neel

May

Age 13

A couple hours later, they sat in the treehouse, only halfway through the wine and three sheets to the wind. Although they were in rough shape, the alcohol was keeping them in good spirits. Powder had tried to do a trick on his skateboard only to wipe out, and Neel had thrown up the contents of his stomach after taking a large swig of wine.

Climbing the ladder to the treehouse had been quite difficult but was somehow possible through teamwork and pure will. Upon later reflection of this night, Neel would be amazed that they didn't fall and crack their skulls open on the rocks below.

The sun was setting as Neel sat in his beanbag chair with the wine bottle's neck firmly in his grasp. They'd finally brought up some battery-powered lamps so they could frequent the treehouse at night and not be draped in darkness. Four feet across the room from Neel, Powder lay in the nook, peacefully gazing up at the clouds and orange sky through the skylight. The expression on his face was new to Neel. Powder was happy.

His fair face was tinted by the setting sun as he turned away from the skylight to look at Neel. "Guess who called me last night."

"Jessica Alba?" he joked. After seeing Idol Hands, both boys were obsessed with the young actress.

"Close."

Neel raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Laurie?"

Powder nodded, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Sick!" Neel proclaimed in victory. "I wonder how she got your number..." He smirked at his best friend like the Cheshire Cat, smug and mischievous.

Powder grabbed a pillow from the bed in the nook and whipped it at Neel. "Asshole. I told you not to stick your big nose in it."

"It's not big," Neel defended, feeling his nostrils and bridge just to make sure. "And I didn't. She asked me for your number. Was I supposed to say no?" The bottle still in his hand, he reached across the empty space between them to his best friend.

Taking the bottle, Powder sat up and took a long gulp, now immune to its unpleasant taste. "No," he replied to Neel's question.

"What'd she say?"

Powder let out a bout of laughter as though it was all so absurd. "She asked me out."

Neel chuckled, overjoyed for his shy friend's luck. Playfully, he sang, "Powder and Laurie sittin' in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G."

As though his mood had changed with the fading light, the joy flooded out of Powder as he took another gulp. "Do you hafta call me that?" he wondered, his words slurring together.

"What? Powder?" Neel wondered, reaching his hand out greedily for another sip. He couldn't stop if Powder was still drinking, he'd look like a wuss. "It's your nickname."

Passing the bottle over, he posed a fair question. "Do you know why everyone calls me Powder?"

"'Cause you're pale, like baby powder or something," Neel guessed.

Powder hung his head and chortled, still surprised by his best friend's ignorance. "Have you ever seen that movie, 'Powder?' It was made a few years ago."

Neel shook his head and nursed the wine bottle.

"The movie's about this guy named Powder. He's super pale, and super weird, and super smart. He kinda even has superpowers, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that he's good or smart, or that bad things happened to him. To everyone, he's a freak," he hung his head again, gaining a slight sway from side to side as though he were a leaf caught up in a strong draft. "I'm a freak, too, minus the powers. If I had powers, I'd go Carrie on everyone. Absolutely everyone." He paused before adding as an afterthought, "not you."

Neel slid from his beanbag chair and scooted closer to Powder. Without understanding why he felt compelled to do so, Neel reached out and squeezed his best friend's hand.

Powder's sad blue eyes rested on Neel's hand holding his, the room suddenly tilting askew. "Stop feeling sorry for me."

"I don't feel sorry for you," Neel lied boldly. "And you're not a freak. You're interesting."

"I don't feel well. I need to lie down," he said, already setting the bottle onto the wood floor and tilting his body to the side. Closing his eyes, he said, "don't leave me alone, okay?"

Drowsy, Neel lay in the fetal position on the floor next to the nook and closed his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."

*****

Neel awoke to the chatter of birds and the rising sun. They'd slept in the treehouse all through the night. One of them had knocked the wine bottle over in their sleep, its contents now staining a patch of the wood paneled floor. Most of the wine had dripped through the cracks, now soaked up by the earth below.

Next to him in the nook, Powder still slumbered. His arm jutted out from the repurposed futon mattress, floating in the air next to Neel's face.

He would never call him Powder again, though it would take some time not to associate the name with him. Neel was ashamed that he'd ever used that nickname, never even curious where it had come from.

Staring at the levitating hand, Neel was struck by the same urge that had seized him the night before. He couldn't remember what it felt like, the feel of his skin. Neel's hand moved into the space between Powder's dangling fingertips and the floor. With caution, Neel lifted his fingers to gently brush against the tips of Powder's. Heart pounding in his chest, he linked their fingers together, keeping his grip as loose as possible.

When Powder stirred, Neel snatched his hand back to avoid detection.

The floating hand still lingered, Powder was still asleep, just adjusting.

The temptation was unbearable. Just one more quick brush against his slender fingers. Just one more time. 

Neel gently touched his fingertips to Powder's, only this time, Powder's hand clasped around Neel's like a Venus flytrap. He gave Neel's hand a firm squeeze that said, "I caught you," then loosened again. To Neel's surprise, Powder held onto him, gently running his thumb back and forth over Neel's caramel skin.

"Benjie?" Neel whispered Powder's true name with a gulp. "You awake?"

The only reply he offered was another squeeze of Neel's hand.