Shades Of Blue

58. Sweet

Neel

December

Age 19

Neel arrived back home that morning. He had stopped at his parents' house to drop off his bag and give them a brief update on his miserable life. It was difficult to be around them now. They were only trying to help, but they made it worse. His mother always wanted to know if he had met anyone interesting at school. His father was always ready to mention the name of a single person around Neel's age, ranging from the children of his friends to the salesman at the paint store. Neither of them could just back off and accept that Neel was unwilling to move on.

He borrowed the car, stopped off at the coffee shop, and drove to the hospital. Neel locked the door to his dad's car, a coffee tray in his free hand containing a tall coffee with three sugars for Benjie's other guest and a medium double-double for himself. He picked up his ticket for the hospital's paid parking and swiftly headed into the building.

It had been around a year and a half since the incident, yet Neel was more loyal to Benjie than ever. Out of a sense of duty, he hadn't made a single friend in his freshman year of university. To be social or simply content felt like the ultimate betrayal. It was difficult and lonely, but to move on meant to give up. He refused to give up on Benjie.

Neel walked past reception and into a large elevator, pressing the button for the fourth floor, Benjie's home. With his coffee tray, Neel said hello to a nurse he recognized from his visits during summer break, offering to fetch her a coffee or doughnut from the café on the first floor. She smiled warmly and politely declined.

When Neel reached Benjie's room, he wasn't surprised to find Mr. Archer already sitting at his son's side. Mr. Archer was constantly there, now more than ever due to the divorce. He seemed to sit there day and night, all year round as he tread water in the guilt that would drown him.

No charges were pressed even though everyone knew the truth. Mr. Archer had done this. He tried to kill Benjie. He had no right to sit here in this hospital room, holding Benjie's hand and praying for his recovery.

Was Neel supposed to forgive him for taking Benjie away? Was he supposed to take pity on this violent animal because he showed a couple signs of guilt? No. Monsters don't get pity, and that's exactly what Mr. Archer was. He was a monster.

"Morning," Neel greeted the monster as he stepped into the room, trying to ignore the smell of bleach.

"Oh. Hey, Neel," Mr. Archer replied, his hands clasped around Benjie's right hand. He stood up to approach Neel and to take his coffee. "Thank you."

"No problem," Neel replied. It seemed that they had spent enough days together in this room over Neel's breaks from school to form some kind of routine. Neel brought coffee in the morning while Mr. Archer would fetch lunch later in the day. They didn't speak much, satisfied with silence between them after the required pleasantries. Mr. Archer still referred to Neel as his son's buddy, refusing to acknowledge what Neel had meant to Benjie. He was cordial with Neel, but there would be no misunderstandings, he didn't like him. To Mr. Archer, Benjie's condition was a result of Neel's presence in their lives. If he had just left Benjie alone, none of them would have been in the hospital the week of Christmas.

Mr. Archer took a long sip of his coffee, letting the scent of roasted coffee beans fill his nostrils. Smacking his lips together, he carefully eyed Neel. He loved his coffee overly sweet. "That's perfect."

"Three sugars, right?" Neel confirmed as he took Mr. Archer's seat next to Benjie and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He took his lover's motionless hand into his and spoke quietly to him. "Sorry I took so long."

Ignoring the display of affection, Mr. Archer sat in a chair by the window, sipping away at his sweet coffee. "When did you fly in?"

"An hour ago," Neel said with a yawn.

"You should head home, get some rest. Your parents'll wanna spend some time with you."

"I'm good here," Neel told Mr. Archer, assessing the blonde beard Benjie had grown since they were last together. With his hair free to grow out, Benjie looked like a hippy. "You can tap out if you want. Ellie must be back from school by now."

"I saw her last night," Mr. Archer said. "She's spending today with her mom."

Neel's eyes were fixed onto him for a moment in gratification.

He must have understood, gulping back his coffee before sucking his teeth. "I know what you're thinking."

"Doubt it."

"Listen, I know I didn't make things easy for you two when you were younger, but that doesn't mean I don't love my kid."

Neel assessed him carefully. He had a few smart comebacks loaded up, but he didn't fire.

Mr. Archer held the empty coffee cup in both hands as he stared down into it. "I do regret something, though," he confessed. "I don't think I ever bothered to get to know him. I don't know who his favorite band was, what his hobbies were, who he wanted to become. I just didn't pay attention."

"He isn't dead," Neel informed him with hostility. "Stop talking about him like he is."

Somberly, Mr. Archer nodded his head in shame. "I wish I had your optimism." He held up his coffee cup before he tossed it into the small trash bin. "I need more caffeine. Want anything?"

His focus on his sleeping Benjie, Neel shook his head to decline.

Mr. Archer excused himself and headed to the first floor for another coffee.

Neel squeezed Benjie's hand and breathed a sigh of relief, sure not to focus his gaze onto the tube in his lover's throat that allowed him to breathe. He kissed Benjie's cheek and spoke quietly to him. "He won't get away with this, Benj. He'll be gone soon, I promise."

Call it murder, justice, or just plain luck. All that mattered was that Mr. Archer died later that night.