Desire

16

Getting out, I run to the door knocking hard and fast. My knuckles hurt by the time I stop. I wait and wait. It seems liks ages before one of them open the door. I run past them and they shout after me.

I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time and I go straight to the closed door that is Harrys. I stop and hesitate but knock, I wait. Nothing. Oh no. I knock again and again. I start to panic.

"H-harry open the door" I demand. Theirs no noise or anything coming from inside. I jiggle the handle. "Harry!" I yell. "Open it please" I yell and I kick the door. A lump in my throat starts to form. Oh no, not here.

"Harry, Im sorry. If its my fault, Im sorry. You can hate me all you want but please open the door. I need to know your ok." Its gone quiet again and the tears start to come. "Harry, I care ok! I care!" I let out a sob and I sink to the floor. He probably took his own life now.

I close my eyes and I sob into my hands. I cant believe this. Its my fauly. All mine. I hear the door open and I stare at Harrys bare feet. I get up quickly and I hug him not caring if he wants me to or not. I hug him close burrying my face into his neck. He smells so good, always.

He hugs me back but steps back. I look at him, still crying. His hair falls longer upon his head and is messed up but in a hot way. My mouth opens slightly when I see his eyes red. Oh no. Hes been crying. "Harry....I" he shakes his head. "I was scared....whats wrong?" I hold his arms with my hands.

I stare at him as he stares back. His eyes open and close slowly. "Harry....answer me" he just continues to stare. "Harry" I say louder and he holds his head falling to the floor. I gasp "Harry!!!" I yell going down to him and shake him. "Harry!!" I take out my phone and I dial 911. "Yes. Hello. My....my friend needs help. He passed out or...i dont know. He wont wake up!" I shake him "Harry!!" I yell again and Niall comes into the room going down to Harry.

"What the fuck happened?!" Niall yells at me and shakes Harry. I stand starting to pace "the ambulance is right on their way" the opperater says. I nod and remember she cant see me "ok" I squeek and I stop seeing the needle on Harrys bed. No. I drop my phone and I cover my mouth. Im gonna be sick.

I swallow hard and I turn to Niall. "Niall, check his pulse!" He checks it looking up at me. "Theirs hardly one" he mumbles. "Oh my god no!" I go down to Harry and I push back his hair. "Please. Oh please dont die on me" the tears start to come again. I rest my head on his chest.

--

My leg moves up and down as I sit in the chair waiting. Niall sits across from me just in the same state as I am. I chew on my nails and I sigh. This is aganising tourcher. I get up and I start to pace and I stop seeing the doctor. She smiles at me. "Harry will be ok" she smiles assuringly and I let out a breathe I didnt know I was holding.

"Did he overdose on that....?" She nods slowly. "But we were lucky enough to get it out of his system before it got worse." I nod and I ask if I could see him and she nods. I head into the room seeing Harry in the bed. I go to his side and I hold his hand. I scoot up a chair and stares at him for a while.

He doesnt move and I just continue to rub my thumb across his hand. This boy, I care so much for. He moves and groans turning his head to me. I stand and I look down at him

"Harry....your going to be ok" I mumble and I smile slightly at him. He moves his hand from me and stares at me. "Harry, why would you.....what were you...." I shake my head. The words wont come out.

He just shakes his head looking away. I let out a breathe. "Harry look at me." I mumble and he still looks away. I sigh and I look down. "Im just trying to care for you Harry, thats all Im doing...Im someone who actually gives a shit about you unlike all your so called friends" I shake my head.

"Im sorry, I dont know what you want me to be to you, what you want from me, I dont know what you want, Im sure its not me" I stand and I sigh walking out of the room.