Desire

19

Sipping at my coffee, staring out the window as the snow piles and piles itself up. It just has become my daily routine. Its early December now, and were on break for the holidays.

I plan to go see my mother in a few days. Shes been sick lately and needs some extra hands around the house.

I press my lips together then letting out a exasperated sigh. The days grow longer but yet they feel so short to me. A man walks in with his hat on and heavy coat. I see tattoos peak out from his neck. My eyes go back to my coffee as Im once again reminded of who I let go of, months ago.

I'd think about him more than once a day, just wondering how he is doing. But then again he might not even think once of me. I sigh again and I get up throwing my coffee away. I Head out into the snowy weather, the wind blows around me. Rushing to my car, I get in. I shiver, turning on my car, I rub my hands together.

Driving back to my dorm I start to think about him again. Pulling in, I get out and I head inside. Sitting in the lobby, I see Louis. He stands smiling at me. "Hey, I was waiting for you" I smile and I hug him quickly.

Me and Louis have been in the friend zone since I told him I wasnt up for a relationship. I know he wants one with me, hes always a great person to me. But in some way, I havent moved on. It sounds rediculious, I know. Like how could I possibly still be hung over Harry when their never was anything going on between us anyways. But thats where it makes sense to me.

I walk past him and he follows suit. Walking to my door, I unlock it going inside, taking off my coat, shoes and beanie. Louis closes the door looking to me. Sitting on the bed, I look at the clock. 2 PM. I shake my head I just went to the coffee shop not too long ago.

Louis sits next to me, taking my hand in his, messaging it and trying to warm them up. I smile down at our hands and I look at him. "Your a wonderful guy Louis" he smiles to my comment. "And your a beautiful and lovely girl Sam." I rest my head on his shoulder staring at the floor. Its funny really, we act like a couple, always touching each other in comforting ways and cuddling sometimes and then theirs play fights.

I guess thats just how close we are to each other. I like him, I do but Im just not sure for what I want yet. What I wish for is not what Im getting, or was getting. I wanted Harry to be like this, loving and caring and playful, but he isnt. And I guess I will have to except that.

As I think about him, Louis's phone rings. He answers it "hello?. Uh yeah...Im at Sams. No Harry, dont come here. You know what she said." It goes silent as he listens to him talk. At the mention of his name, my chest aches a little more. "No dont see her. You wanted nothing more than sex with her...I know you-....no dont say you can. No Harry, Harry?" He looks at his phone and scoffs. "He hung up on me," Louis stands and looks at us. "Lets get out of here before he shows up."

I sigh and I nod, standing and getting on my coat, shoes and hat. I look at Louis as he does to me. "Lets go." We head out, down the hall into the cold air. Looking down as I walk, we get to his car and I get in. As he drives off, I watch the snow fall from the sky.

My mind is wirling with a bunch of thoughts. Would Harry have changed? Does he want something more? Who knows really. Im too scared to face him. I feel as if I see him. Id give in to his ways again. Louis looks at me. "Where do you want to go?" I shrug. "Whereever is fine" I mumble looking towards the road.

We pull into a roller skate rink. Shaking my head, I look to Louis. "Louis? I can't skate." "You can try babe." We get out heading inside and Louis pays for the both of us, being the gentlemen he is. We get our skates and put them on, heading onto the floor. I hold onto the wall watching my feet. I gasp as I fall onto my ass. Louis chuckles and helps me up. "Your good?" I nod and he holds me as we start to skate.

-

Within a few hours were driving back to the dorm. Putting my head back, I sigh. We pull in and I get out. Looking at Louis, he smiles and we walk inside to my dorm. Who I see waiting at the door makes me stop walking. His eyes meet mine and I instently get the warm feeling Ive been craving for.

"Harry..."