Desire

34

He seemed fine.
Right? I mean I'm not seeing things. He looked like he really was OK with it all. Maybe not. Not the way he looked at me most of the time at the restaurant. Especially when he went to leave. He looked angry. Really angry.

It's been a few days since then and I can't really not think about this. About him. I tried with all of my power to push him out of my head. I tried many things to distract myself, but nothing ever worked. I shake my head clear and I stare down at the paper.

Number 24. I start to write out the problem but all of my focus isn't on my bookwork. Sighing, I set the pencil down, rubbing my face as I stand. This isn't going to go away anytime soon.

Going to my bed, I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling as I twirl a piece of my hair around my finger.

This can either get better or very much worse. Shaking my head, I sit up and I text Louis.

Hey

I wait on his reply and I stare at the door. Spring Break is around the corner and Louis wants to take me to Daytona Beach, where everyone else is going. I usually stay home for Spring Break but he insists on taking me.

L: hey babe

I stare at the screen and I go back and I scroll through my contacts until I stop at his name. Staring at it, I shake my head and I exit it out. Now texting Niall.

what are you up to?

I text him and I set down my phone going into the kitchen and I look into the fridge to only hear my phone ring. Rushing over to it, I see Nialls name sprawled across the screen.

Answering it, I sigh
"Hello? "

"Hey. I was just wondering if your ok."
He speaks loudly through the reciever.

I mess with the string dangling from my shirt.
"Uh well, what do you mean by ok?"
I pause for a second looking out the window.
"If you mean slowly suffering inside and trying to look perfectly fine on the outside. Then sure, I am ok. I'm fantastic" I press the phone between my shoulder and ear as I hear him talk.
"Well...Sam, if anything I'd say Harry is the same way" he mumbles under his breathe, most likely because he doesn't want someone to hear him and by someone that is Harry.

In my inclination, I think Harry wouldn't even be feeling what I am feeling. At all. I am just some stupid girl falling for some ass who doesn't care about me, even my existence. I hear talking in the background from Niall's end. Sighing, I make my way into the kitchen as I search the fridge for something to eat. Niall sighs heavily

"We should have a get together. Like we use too?" I think back at the last time we all had a get together. Memories of Harry fucking me in the alley flood my mind.

"Uh no thanks, I'll pass. Besides. I'm really busy Niall. I just wanted to know how your doing?" Lying straight through my teeth. It's the right way to go.

Staring out the window, I could just imagine feeling what I've felt with him. The Desire to be with him. It ached me.

"Sam?" Niall says through the reciever. "Uh....oh ya? Sorry I was just thinking" Looking down, my phone beeps with another call coming in. Looking at the screen, 'mom' flashes a crossed it. Oh god.

Closing my eyes, I could feel a headache coming. "Niall, I'll text you later ok?" He sighs and agrees.
"Ok, bye" I say as I switch over the call to my mother.

"Hey mom" I say and I could automatically hear the excitement in her tone. "Hunny. Your aunt Marla is getting married in a few days. Your going right?" I sigh through the reciever "I don't think I can. I have a big test coming up"

"Oh" she pauses and sighs "ok" she says and I can hear the strong disappointment in her voice. "Well um, I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing" she says and sighs through the phone, clearly upset.

"Ok mom, I'll call you later. I love you" "I love you too, bye" she hangs up and I sit down at the kitchen table.

This will be the longest week ever.  Looking down at my phone, the time slowly passing me by.

2:21 pm

Dialing Louis number, I bite at my nails. It goes straight to voicemail.

Standing, I go to my book work as it sits on my desk mocking me. Looking away, I rub my face as the boredom hits me hard.

Maybe I should go to that wedding? Maybe it will do me some good? Picking up my phone, I scroll to my mother's contact, interrupting me is a call from Louis.

Answering it, I hesitate to speak "babe?" he says and I clear my throat "oh oh. Hi" I say quickly. Suddenly I feel a rush of anxiety over me.

"Babe? Are you alright?" He says through the phone. I nod but I realize he couldn't see me, "um yes." I could hear a sigh through the receiver and I found myself pacing around the more I stood on the phone with him.

"Would you like to go out with me and some of my friends? Or if you don't, we can just go out on a date babe?"
The inevitable was there, 'friends', that word burned in my head. His face appears in my head as I rub my head.

"No, no its totally fine" I mumble "um, I'm just going to go to a wedding with my mother, but thanks for asking" I say as I make my way to my bed and I sit.

"Oh um, ok" he says through the reciever. "I'm sorry babe, but I'll text you later, ok?" I say as I fiddle with my hair.

"Ok, bye" he says and I hang up and immediately calling my mom.

--

Packing up my stuff, I check around the room making sure I have everything. Pushing back my hair, I zip up my suitcase and I tug it towards the door. I can't wait to get away and have a distraction. This day is beginning to give me anxiety.

Walking out to my car, I shove the suitcase into my backseat and I get in, starting it. Buckling up, I head to my mothers.

AN: It has been way too long since I've updated and I honestly don't know when the next time I will update. Hopefully it won't be too long. I'm sorry about the wait. I love you guys so much for all of the reads. And I hope everyone's summer is going good.
|Gwen|