Desire

27

Stumbling over someone elses feet, I feel really dizzy. And my head is pounding. Drinking more from my cup, I look around for the asshole. Bupping into someone, I look at them.
Its Niall. He looks up and down at me surprised. Rolling my eyes, I huff. "Niall, do you know where Harold is?" He chuckles "outside I believe." He shrugs making his way through the crowd.

Heading to the front door, I open it and sure enough he stands, faced away from me in his trench coat and beanie. What astounds me is the puff of smoke that rises shortly. I realize he is smoking.

shoving on my coat, I go outside and I come slowly behind him. Appearing next to him, I look up at him. I feel like a little kid that had a fight with their best friend but doesnt want to talk to them, but needs too.

I go to speak but he interrupts me. "Dont try it" he says bringing the cigerette to his lips inhaling then puffing out the smoke.

I look down and I fumble with my thumbs then he turns to me throwing the cigerette. I watch as it lands into the snow. I didnt even know he smoked.

Looking back at him, he stares at me like hes thinking about something hard. "In fact, lose my number" he shrugs past me and goes back inside.

I stand there staring and I feel like I just got stabbed in the chest. Looking down, tears start to fall. This is useless. Me and Harry, its a never ending battle. I might as well hold up a white flag, I surrender Harry.

I shake my head and I go inside. Going around, I find Harry walking towards the kitchen and I stop him. He looks at me "enough Sam. Its done with" more tears go down my cheeks.

"But Harry I-" he shakes his head. "I dont care" he continues to walk and I let him walk into the kitchen. Making my way to the couch, I sit. I watch as a girl with beautiful Auburn hair sits next to me.

She looks over at me. "Whats wrong?" She asks and I sigh looking down. "Nothing" I mumble "its just, um a guy I like, well hes, he doesnt want to be a part of my life anymore." I sound so stupid. She sighs "well he probably isnt worth it" I shake my head "he seems not to be but..." more tears spill down my cheeks and I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Who is he?" she asks and takes a sip from her cup. "Harry" I mumble. "Harry, like Harry Styles?" I nod and she sighs and I take the time to look over at her to only see a sympathy look.

"I mean, its not wrong to like him but he would never  feel the same" she looks down picking at her nails. Looking away, I stare at the people who tumble into each other.

•••

Ive been sitting on this couch for quite some time. Getting up, I make my way over to the bathroom. Going in, I see my makeup all smeared.

Fixing up my makeup a little, I make my way back to the party and I look around. Seeing Harry stand by a group of people, I slowly make my way over. Tapping him on the shoulder. He turns to me and scuffs "go away Saaaamm" he slurs his words together.

"Harry I- " he intrrupts me and turns away, his group of friends stare beatween us. Huffing, I try to drag him away. He turns abruptly and slaps me across my face. I gasp and I hold my cheek, feeling it sting from the impact of Harrys hand.

Looking up at him, he looks really angry. "Don't you ever fucking touch me again!!" I yell. His eyes are so dark, I don't see the Harry that I longed for.

Tears start to well up in my eyes. Shaking my head, I turn quickly and I run out the door. Going to my car, I get in.

Staring up at the house, I start to sob. Hitting the steering wheel multiple times, I let out a frustrated scream. "I HATE YOU HARRY" "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" I scream even though no one could hear me.

Setting my head down onto the steering wheel, I cry and I cry. I don't know how long I sat there. As I sat up, I wiped my tears. Sniffling, I start the car and I head back to campus.

As I pull into the lot, I get out, heading inside. Going to my dorm, I go in. Getting ready for bed, I lay down. Staring at the ceiling, I think of the events of this night. And how I wouldnt want to go back.

I plan on not seeing Harry, maybe at all. As tears start to run down my cheeks and into my hair, I start to think.

What if Im just fighting a lost battle. Maybe he has already won and Im just a fool trying to act like I still have a chance. Maybe the way he looked at me with stars in his eyes, was nothing at all.

Maybe he was using me. Like Ive thought several times before. Is it too late to take back the feelings I have for him? To just forget them all? As if they were nothing at all.

He took part of me with him and took it to his advantage. This is not what I wanted. Not at all. Harry Styles will not crumble me anymore.

Turning towards the wall, I touch the necklace I havent tooken off since then.

Maybe moving on will be better for me. I mean look at us. Were complete opposites. They say opposites attract but not in our case.

Harry is a tough guy, one to not give at all. His heart is locked up under all of that weight he has carried.

I thought I could try and maybe things would change. I thought I could see a change. A change in him. The way he held my hand and smiled at me. Laying with me as he cuddled with me, it was probably nothing to him. And maybe it was nothing. Nothing at all.

AN: were into chapter 27 now going onto 28. More things will start to slow down for a bit but will pick back up within a few chapters as she comes face to face with Harry. And I have noticed a few days ago that Desire has reached 1.1k reads!!! Thank you all so so soooo much. It means so much to me.
Love you all,
|Gwen|