Desire

31

Tapping my pen against my thigh, I stare at the board as the teacher brags about how in the novel, Emma, is a bit intrusive. The impulive girl cant possibly choose between men. In which Frank has an attraction to Emma but Emma isnt interested.

I soon tune out thinking about these past few days. Me almost dying and how Harry left me a strange voicemail last night. It almost sounded as if he were crying. I know Harry, he must have been wasted, clearly not affected by the amount of sorrow he was showing. The liquor swallowing his brain and god knows his whole being.

Touching the necklace that hangs around my neck and settles almost to the peak of my cleavage, I sigh heavily. This is the class Harry is in with me but for the past week or so he hasn't showed up.

And I know exactly why. Its because he possibly cant be a man and see me or even be near me. Now thinking about it, I feel the same way. I wouldnt want to be near him, at all.

I wouldnt want to see him and get that feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach or the over whelming feeling I get when he looks at me. I know I would feel the same way I always do around him.

Liam sits next to me, clearly wraped up in the lesson Mr. Westwood is teaching. Sitting back in my chair, I stare at the clock watching the second hand go around and around for every second that ticks by. Only 10 more minutes.

I try to pay attention in which isnt very well until class ends.
•••

Going out the door, I see Louis waiting for me. He gives me a warm smile as he takes my things into his arm. And uses his free hand to hold my own. Smiling at him, I look down the hall.

My heart starts to race and I start to get that feeling when I see him standing with Taylor and Niall, talking. The breath that I have left in me, escapes as he looks directly at me.
We stare, keeping eye contact as he clearly doesnt pay attention to what Taylor is saying to him. I feel as if my legs are going to give out on me.

With each step I take, I become closer and closer seeing each detail of him a little bit better than before. As we pass, I advert my eues to the floor.

I can hardly keep up with my breathing and my chest is begging for air. I let go of Louis hand as we go out the doors. I inhale the mild weather air, letting my nerves calm down.

Louis looks to the parking lot then back at me. "Babe, you alright? You look like your about to have a heart attack" he touches my arm so slightly. Nodding, I take in a deep breathe "yes" I mumble as I make my way to Louis car.

He unlocks it as I get in. Driving out of the parking spot, I see Harry walking with Taylor out of the doors. Suddenly I feel like puking and I feel dizzy.

Taking deep breathes, Louis drives back to my dorm and we go in and I set my stuff down. Sitting on the bed, Louis sits next to me. "Sam" he mumbles. "I um...I- your still in love with him arent you?"

The stunned look I give only makes it a little more confusing for me when I look to the floor in confusion. Is it really that damn obvious? I must show it like a sign on my back and Im the joke everyone laughs at but doesnt say shit to me.

"You know I am" I mumble and my hand automatically goes to the necklace that I still wear everyday.

His gaze towards me falters towards the ground. I realize that this isnt right. I am spacing myself away from Harry to not feel the things I do and not have the compulsive desire to be around him or need him every second of the day.

Going closer to Louis, I nuzzle my nose into his neck and he puts an arm around me and sighs heavily. "Im sorry Louis. Its not fair to you that I still love him" I mumble and he tugs me onto my lap, so Im straddling him.
He kisses me softly at first then more roughly and I let out a small moan. He pulls away and lifts my shirt. I lift off his and he unclips my bra. As we undress, I lay back completly naked.

He crawls up my body and kisses me again. His taste lingers onto my lips and I grab the back of his neck wanting more. I want him to fuck me senseless to where I forget about every little thing.

He continues to kiss me and slowly pushes his dick into me, a gasp escapes my lips. I moan and I grip his arms, digging my nails into his skin as he starts to thrust.

I close my eyes and moans fill the room as he moves in and out of me, picking up the speed.

My mind drifts off to him. To the boy that fills the void, that makes me feel so much more than I really am. He makes me feel alive.

Opening my eyes, I picture him, Harry. Staring up at the beautiful man in front of me. As he moves in and out of me, I gasp as he gives a few rough thrusts. "Oh fuck!" I yell and I claw at his back.

"You like that baby?" and just like that Harry is gone and Louis is back. I groan and I nod moving my head to the side and I close my eyes.

Within minutes, I release and Louis pulls out, cumming onto his own hand. Sitting up, I cover myself. For some reason feeling very insecure. Louis lays next to me and puts an arm around me, his breathing rigid.

"That was so good" he says and I can only nod. He feels it all so much when I feel it slightly.

I have to get over Harry. I have to move on, I should know Harry has and just made me the act of being another one of his play toys.

Looking over at Louis, I know I should love Louis the way he loves me. Because he treats me the way I want to be treated. And it makes me feel wanted. And that is all I will need. Nothing more or nothing less.