Bloody Symphony | Elijah Mikaelson

Chapter 44

Remaining productive was hard.

What she wished to do was crawl into a burrow and fall asleep, and never wake up. The hallucinations weren't stopping. Elijah continued to show up, telling her that if she wouldn't pick, she had to let herself die. Klaus would come whisper in her about how she deserved to live, and therefore, should choose him.

Blocking them out was impossible. Snapping her neck wasn't really helping much. She was at the point where the hallucinations were constant, appearing wherever she was. She was able to ignore them, if she was around other people. But when she was alone, they'd say the worst things to get her talking to them.

"Elijah," she said more unsteadily when she answered his call the next day. "I um— I'm really not able to call right now."

She was looking at the fake version of him, seated under a tree, smirking at her.

"You sound worse today," he said bluntly. "Please... tell me what ails you."

"It was the rejection, okay?" she blurted out. "I'm seeing things and I'm not... I'm not resting. It doesn't matter, though, it's my own stupid fault for not waiting and doing it another way. Just don't say anything about it."

"Natanya, how can you expect me to remain silent when I'm hearing that my actions affected you? This must be undone... what if I were to mark you again, and then we were to remove it a different way?"

"There's no guarantee that would work. And I don't want you to mark me again. That could just make it worse. Just— tell me whatever you were gonna tell me and be done with it."

He paused. "I did something horrible. Perhaps I ought not admit it."

"Just tell me."

"I killed four witches to re-establish the link to the Ancestors."

"You did what?"

"It was what was necessary. They came back to life. The link is restored."

"That doesn't change the fact that you killed four girls. Just..." she rubbed her forehead, seeing the fake Elijah was mouthing the word, 'choose.' "I'm not mad... I'm just... this is a lot to take in. I'm not proud of you either, though... if those girls hadn't come back, what the hell would you have done?"

"I'm not sure. I suppose what matters is that it worked."

"I can't have you mark me again. I can't. Not... not with this. Not with any of it. I'm just gonna hurt you again. I can't stop thinking about you and it's wrong. So, so wrong."

"Natanya... I have not, for a single moment, stopped loving you. Perhaps we went about this all wrong..."

"This never should have become a thing in the first place. We both knew it was a crazy risk and we went with it. I'm addicted to you. And I want to be with you so much that it pains me. I'm even willing to be with you again if it'll get rid of these stupid hallucinations. Even if it brings me to my doom. Do you know how fucking crazy that sounds? Our connection... it wasn't... it wasn't even fully real, Elijah... our soulmate bond... it wasn't fucking real. It's not possible. We have to let each other go, but I keep thinking about you and I just don't want to."

At least, that's what she'd meant to say.

He'd been silent. "Natanya, I don't understand a word you just said."

"The hell do you mean?"

"You trailed off and it sounded like... random words jumbled together. Tell me where you are. I'm going to help you."

"No. No, you most certainly are not. I'm not letting you mark me again. Just give me some task to do. Give me something to distract myself. It always helps."