Daylight - Taylor Swift

Chapter 14

November 28th, 2016

"I just don't know what to do," Taylor admitted, twirling a bowl of fettuccine noodles on her lap. Hidden away in the New York apartment once again, Jo in town to do some recording and Taylor following the brunette into the city to hide away in good company, the topic of Taylor's turmoil had come up again.

Jo set her fork down and wiped her mouth with her serviette. She looked to her left at the older girl and raised her hand to push some hair out of Taylor's face delicately, "I don't know, baby. One day at a time, I suppose."

"I don't even want to leave the house. How am I supposed to feel normal if I can't leave the house? There is no me anymore, Jo. I'm a snake, I'm a terrible person, a liar. I'm not Taylor anymore, I'm just the shell of a person who used to be," she sniffled, eyes tearing up and falling down her cheek.

"No," Jo said sternly, taking both their bowls and sliding them onto the coffee table, not worried about the cats dipping their sneaky paws into them as they were no where to be seen, "Absolutely not. You are not a snake, you are an amazing person, you are honest to a fault sometimes, Taylor. You are Taylor, you are my Taylor."

She wiped the girl's tears from under her eyes and pulled her close to her chest, letting her take a moment to deconstruct her thoughts. She knew that was important for her girlfriend, the time to think and adapt to how she was feeling. It was something Taylor had expressed being afraid of because it had ruined past relationships, and it was why Jo knew she'd not said 'I love you' yet, even though it was known her in eyes.

All in good time.

"I wish I could save you," Jo whispered a moment later, a small addition to her previous statement that had seemingly rendered Taylor speechless, "I wish I could save you, take the pain away. Show them how wonderful you are. You don't deserve this."

"You don't need to save me, Jo. You can't."

"I know," the younger half ran her fingers through Taylor's tousled hair, trying to bring any comfort she could.

"You could run away with me though," the blonde sat up, her eyes unsure of the reaction she was going to get.

"Run away with you?" Jo asked for clarification, "Where? To some beach somewhere? In an island hut? You, me, a couple coconut trees?"

Taylor cracked a small smile at the banter, knowing it was in good faith, "I don't know. Wherever. Somewhere that I've not been living— a new place, I guess. You're flying from Nevada to New York for work anyways, you could fly in from anywhere. Stay here, come back to me."

"Sounds a lot like you're saying that you want to move in together," Jo hummed, watching Taylor's face fall.

She shook her head quickly, "Uhm, no? Not what I meant to mean. Just hate these walls right now, well not these ones, but familiar ones. I want to paint and make music and see trees. Well, yeah it does sound like I want to move in with you. Yeah, you can say no. It was a stupid idea, it's only our two month anniversary, anyways."

"What about my job at the Casino? My sister, you know...? I don't know how she'll survive with me gone from the house for real, I—"

"Just forget it, Jo! It was stupid, I was just being weak and dumb and I'm tired. I'm really tired," Taylor interrupted.

Jo was ever so patient, waiting until Taylor let out a sigh to add, "I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do this so that we have absolutely no regrets. The last thing I ever want with you is to have any regrets."

"Well you'll regret moving in with someone who can't even tell you that she loves you. Who's so fucking tied up in her brain that she doesn't want to leave the house."