Mafia's baby (18+)

38. Sophie - Lost

I woke up in bed, Luca's bedroom. I scanned the room but I couldn't see anyone.

I took a look at my legs they were stitched. But they were also blue. I had a lot of bruises. I had them everywhere and every part of me was hurting. I was in pain mentally and physically.

I am blaming myself for not being strong enough and letting them kidnap me. I am blaming myself for our baby who is in heaven now. I feel like I could have done something more to protect him or her. I didn't even know the gender yet.

I felt tears escape my eyes. I can't. I'm not strong enough. If I will be able to have more children I'm probably gonna be a horrible mom. If I couldn't protect one I won't be able to proctect all the others. If i can even have them. I don't think so.

I put an arm around my stomach. I stood up. I could barely walk but slowly step by step I made it to the bathroom.

I bunched my t-shirt to my stomach and hold with with my hand while looking at the mirror. It was supposed to be like a whale's and it's just as flat as are doors. I put my hand on it. I wanted to feel something. I never felt a kick because it was too early but I wanted it. I wanted it to start kicking.

More tears escaped my eyes and my wiped them off. I heard the door open. „Sophie?” the angelic voice said.

It's Luca.

He came in to the bathroom. „Sophie! You can't walk not yet! You're in pain, are you stupid Sophie?!” he shouted at me.

„I'm sorry” I murmured.

„why do you I have to take care of you as if you are a child. Grow up, Sophie.” he hissed.

Why he's mad at me? For loosing our child?

I looked at the ground and he picked me up. I didn't dare to look him in the eyes, he's mad at me.

He put me on the bed and lifted my chin so I would be looking him in the eyes.

„Sophie, I'm sorry” he apologized. And that was the moment when I broke down in his arms.

„I'm sorry, Luca, I'm s-so sorry” I sobbed. „baby it's okay” he tried to calm me down. „you have nothing to apologize for” he added rubbing my back.

I shook my head. I wish his words would help me, but they don't. The guilt that I feel- I can't even explain. Our baby died because of me.

„n-no, Luca, you don't get it. I didn't have a chance to tell you, i-I wanted to but I was waiting till yo u will be done with the ass licking and-and I-i-  it was just too late.” I sobbed in to his chest.

He didn't say a word. He was just rubbing my head and kissing my forhead.

„ I-I was pregnant Luca. She-she killed it. She b-beated it out of me a-and I couldn't do a-anything.” I sobbed. I could barely talk.

He stopped rubbing my back. He took a step back. „y-you were w-what?” he asked with a shaky voice.

I shook my head and started crying harder. „I-I'm really so-sorry L-luca, I just c-coudlnt do an-anything.” I put my head in to my hands.

I felt him taking me into his arms. He kissed my forhead. He isn't mad. I picked up my head. I looked him straight in the eyes. I saw a few tears in them.

„it's okay, baby. It's not your fault. Don't cry. Everything's gonna be fine. Everything's gonna be just fine. We will make her suffer for taking about baby away.” he whispered.

I sobbed in to his chest for the last 10 minutes. If I would have told him about our baby maybe I would have of been in his mansion and it wouldn't have of happened. Maybe if I would have of told him now I would still be pregnant. Maybe If I would have of told him about me being pregnant now I wouldn't feel the guilt that I feel.

I feel guilty for not being able to protect our baby and now he will feel guilty and blame his self for not being able to protect me and our baby. But I needed to tell him that. I couldn't keep it from him. It wasnt only mine baby, it was also his.

He rubbed my back and said „it's okay, baby. One day when we will get marked we will try to have another one and if it won't work then we will still try and try until it works. I love you no matter what. We are suposodd to go through this together. And you shouldn't think that I would leave you because of this. Yes it's sad and horrible but we will stick together because we love each other and because I want to have a future with you.” he said and kissed me on the lips.

Oh God I missed these lips so much.

„also when you will recover  we will go see your shitty grandparents and that bitch Amanda and we will can torture your mother together.” he said and kissed my lips once again, wrapping his arms around me tighter.

I missed him.

Coming to the end.

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