Brutal (Sour Hour Series #5)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

As the months have passed, I tried to get out of my comfort zone.  I don't want to be like this forever because I know I'm capable of so much more. That's why, over the last few months, I've tried things I've never done before.

It is not always a bad thing to step outside of your comfort zone. There will be times when we need to do something better to distract ourselves. Doing those things may help you become a better person.

And of course, while doing those things, I am always with Jainx. He never really leaves my side. He was always there when I needed something, and I also assure him that I'm always here for him.

He quickly became my best friend. We laughed a lot, chuckled a lot, and talked a lot. And he's always serious when it comes to serious matters. But... he can still make me laugh and tell me a joke to make me feel better.

And I know that... what I'm feeling right now isn't right, and it can never be right. I also understand that... liking is not a crime, but for me, liking and loving him was a crime, which is why... I keep reminding myself that he's just a friend. I shouldn't feel anything for him because it's not appropriate.

Hanggang ngayon, todo pa rin ang iwas ko dahil baka makita ako nila Mama at pabalikin na naman ako sa bahay. There's one time when Calleigh arrived at my condo, she told me to be aware because our mother is already looking for me to bring back to our house.

"Hindi ko na talaga alam kay Mama. I told her many times already to stop bugging you because you're already happy, at iyon ang mahalaga." she told me.

Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit. "Thank you so much, Calleigh!"

"Ang alam ko, talagang pursigido na sila Mama at Papa sa annulment nila."

Marahas akong bumuntonghininga at napatitig na lang sa kawalan. If that's what they want, then they should do it now as soon as possible. Ever since naman, I never experienced having a happy family even though I have my family together. And besides, I don't wanna see my mother and father fighting and fighting again until it comes to a physical fight.

"Narinig kong sinabi ni Mama kay Papa na may kung ano ano itong illegal na ginagawa." si Cait.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Anong illegal? Does Papa use…"

"Nope, more illegal."

"Edi ano?"

"Seems like he's involved in some cult? I don't know. I just heard it from our mother." sagot niya.

Napailing ako. "Anong cult? Anong klaseng cult?"

"Inaalaman nga din namin. At mukhang… wala na sa katinuang pag iisip si Papa." bumuntonghininga si Calleigh.

Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko, pero kahit paano, nag aalala pa rin ako sa kanya. After all, he's my father and I should take care of him.

"Kaya sa ngayon, wala si Papa sa bahay, umalis habang dala dala ang mga gamit niya."

Napailing ako. I don't know what's really going on in our house. Kung hindi siguro pumunta ang mga kapatid ko rito, hindi ko iyon malalamang lahat.

"They said that… you can feel real happiness and love whenever you're with your parents, but I feel like… it's an exception to my situation." I told Jainx.

Nakaupo kami ngayon sa sahig habang marahang pinagmamasdan ang kalangitan. The sunset was about to set down, and here we are, staring at it until the darkness surrounds the world.

I stared at Jainx who's sitting beside me. We're at the park, since the daylight was about to end, kami na lang ang natirang tao dito. May mga swing rin kaya isang kaisipan ang pumasok sa isip ko.