Brutal (Sour Hour Series #5)

Chapter 26

trigger warning: suicide

Chapter 26

What had happened to me was still fresh in my mind. I always remember what happened to me that day whenever I'm glancing at something or someone. I'll never forget my father's and two other men's faces.

It still hurts my heart whenever I think about it. Even though I know they're not here anymore, they're still touching me, and I know I'm not safe. They're still wandering around this country as if nothing happened.

I will never ever trust anyone. Even Jainx, or my sisters. All of them are capable of hurting me. Even my parents, my dad… did it to me. His own daughter! He did it to his own princess!

That's why, from now on, I will never trust. I won't ever give my trust to someone because even our family can hurt and betray us. The truth is… all people are capable of betraying us, that's why I don't want to trust anymore.

If there's one thing I could trust right now, that is… myself. Because I'm the only one who knows my true self, my true pain, and everything.

"Verlyian, halika na. Umuwi na tayo… umuwi ka na sa'kin…" Jainx whispered.

We remained in the lobby of the hotel. Still, I cannot speak up nor open it up to him. Ang naiisip ko, ayokong sabihin sa kanya ang nangyari sa'kin. Ayokong may pagsabihan ako na kahit sino.

I know that this is being selfish, but all of that is still fresh to me. That only happened earlier, and the pain inside me was still hurting me so much.

"Halika na, mahal ko…" he gently said, sinubukan niya mula akong hawakan.

Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Hindi ako makatingin sa kanya. Natatakot akong kapag nagtama ang paningin namin, mabasa niya bigla ang emosyon ko.

Pretend. That's it. I need to pretend that I'm okay, so that he won't be worried or asked many questions again.

Sa likod ng sakit na nararamdaman ko, nakuha kong ngumiti para sa kanya.

"I-I'm sorry…" I whispered.

Niyakap niya agad ako. "I don't understand you, Verlyian."

"Umuwi na tayo…"

Naglahad siya ng kamay sa'kin, at kahit na takot na takot ako, kinuha ko ang kamay niya. Nakaramdam ako ng takot dahil muli ko na namang naalala ang ginawa nilang paghawak sa'kin, pero hindi ko iyon pinahalata kay Jainx.

I want him to know that I'm okay, that nothing's happened to me.

Palakad na sana kami nang muli akong makaramdam ng sakit sa bandang ibaba ko, kaya naman natigilan ako sa paglalakad at napapikit agad nang mariin.

"Are you okay?" alalang tanong niya.

Tumango agad ako. "Oo! Nangalay lang paa ko…"

How funny is it that earlier, I can't still talk, it's as if I lose myself again. But when Jainx came, I pretended that I'm okay, as if I didn't lose myself.

"Gusto mong buhatin na lang kita?" he asked.

Umiling ako at naglakad na lang, iniinda ang bawat sakit sa bandang ibaba ko para lang hindi na magtanong pa sa'kin si Jainx. Nang makasakay kami sa kotse, hindi na niya ulit ako tinanong pa.

Nang makabalik sa condo niya, agad akong umupo sa sofa at umupo naman siya sa tabi ko. Alam kong maraming katanungan sa isip niya pero kinakabahan siyang magtanong sa'kin.

"I don't know where to start, Verlyian." Jainx sighed. "You've been missing for 3 days and I'm damn worried."

Nag iwas agad ako ng tingin sa kanya.