Brutal (Sour Hour Series #5)

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I already saw this coming. I was expecting him to speak those words, but even though I was expecting it, I was still devastated. I felt a pain in my heart, despite the fact that I'm immune to pain... I was still hurt by him.

The sun was beginning to set. I was transfixed by the breathtaking scenery in front of and above us. For a while, we both remained silent.

"Thank you for liking and confessing to me, Verlyian. I know… it's been really hard for you. But I just want you to know that… fall for another man. Don't fall for me. There's a lot of men who're worthy of your love." he said.

"But you're worthy of love, Jainx…"

"You can't like me just because I'm being kind to you," sabi niya.

Umiling ako. "Hindi naman kita nagustuhan dahil doon. Nagustuhan din kita dahil…"

Natameme ako. Somehow, he's right. Nagustuhan ko siya dahil sa kabutiang binibigay niya sa'kin. Magugustuhan ko kaya siya kung hindi siya mabait sa akin? Kung hindi kami naging magkaibigan?

I stared at nowhere for a while, silently thinking about how I've had feelings for him.

I like him not because he's handsome, but because he has a pure soul— not just for me, but for everyone. He shows kindness to everyone around us. He always makes time for me. And I think that was the reason why I've fallen for him.

"You have a pure soul. Lahat ng pinapakita mong kabutihan sa akin… lahat iyon ang naging dahilan kung bakit ako nahulog sa'yo." sabay nag iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya.

He sighed heavily. "But the reason why I'm doing it is because you're my friend. Ayokong pabayaan ka. Ayokong maulit ang nangyari noon sa kaibigan ko…"

Mapait akong ngumiti. He's being kind to me because he doesn't want history to repeat itself.

"Yes, I understand it. Alam ko iyon." mapait na sabi ko.

"Ayokong nasasaktan ka… kaya… lagi kitang pinoprotektahan at inaalagaan."

"Gawain ba iyon ng isang kaibigan? Iyong lagi kang… inaalagaan kahit wala ka na talagang oras, pero gagawin mo pa rin ang lahat para mapuntahan mo lang ako. Ayaw mong nalilipasan ako ng gutom. Now, tell me, sinong babae ang hindi mahuhulog sa'yo?" tanong ko.

Yumuko siya at muling malalim na bumuntonghininga.

"I'm sorry for misinterpreting my actions to you,"

I sighed. "You don't have to say sorry, Jainx. It's not your fault that I fell for you. Clearly, it was really my fault. Ang tanga tanga ko, kasi kahit alam kong kaibigan lang ang tingin mo sa'kin… nagawa ko pa ring mahulog sa'yo."

"Stop falling in love with me, as soon as possible."

Sabay sabay na nalaglag ang luha sa mga mata ko. Rejecting me and telling me I'm just his friends was entirely okay with me, but… him… telling me to stop falling for him… parang dinurog ng ilang beses ang puso ko.

"Why, Jainx? Who are you to decide my feelings?" halos pumiyok na ang boses ko.

"I just don't want to… hurt you."

"I'm now hurting," matamang sagot ko.

Tinignan ko siya. Alam kong mahirap din ito para sa kanya. Pero, wala naman din akong magagawa. It's clear that he doesn't like me. Ayaw niya sa isang bata at immature na katulad ko. For sure, he likes girls who have the same attitude like him— a girl who's already matured.

But a part of me was saying that… if that is so, then I want to be mature just for him to like me. But I know, that was wrong. Because... you don't have to change anything about yourself to make them like you. Simply... show up and be yourself. You are not required to change.