Waiting

10

When you get hurt, it's usually from someone you barely care about. They're irrelevant to your life, so their judgement honestly doesn't affect you. It's when you get hurt from the people you 'trust' that the pain hits you hard. Having to realize that once again, nobody else understands as much as you thought they did.

In my life, nobody understands. But like I said, the pain can go away. That's basically the long term for suicide. I'm not that depressed, I just haven't met the person who was really worth talking to.

May I also add that the pain was from somebody I actually called my friend. It's sad because I was so used to getting hurt by Adam that it didn't even bother me anymore. I mean sure, I still did cut, but whatever he did just didn't make me suffer as much as he wanted me to.

"Care to explain?" I asked, trying my best to keep my nerves under control.

"I tried Tori. I really did. It's hard dealing with the stupid shit and this whole brain cancer shit at the same time." she muttered.

"I can't even believe that for a damn second. You know you could talk to me about anything." I can't tell you shit though.

"I-I-I just ca-can't. I tried to stop."

"What did you do Tori" I asked urgently.

She stayed quiet.

"What the hell did you fucking do!!!" I screamed.

She stood up from her hospital bed, looking clueless as fuck. So, I just asked her the question that this bitch was too pussy to admit.

"Do you like Adam?" I asked straight forward.

"Why would you say that?" she furrowed her brows at me suspiciously.

"Nigga I knew you for years, so the least you can do is lie better" I said through sucking my teeth.

This bitch could not last five minutes in a criminal minds episode. Derek Morgan would go Madea on that bitch in a good 2 seconds.

Rose looked me straight in the eyes. She did this only when she either didn't give a fuck or just wanted to make a point.

"I do not like Adam. He's a little lost riding hood obviously trying to get himself together. I know your emotionally disturbed, but that doesn't mean that we can't be friends. Tori, you have to believe me." I continued to read her face like a Dr Suess book. Then I gave up.

"Whatever" I murmured. Rose out of all people was definitely not worth my energy going back and forth. Whatever she was up to, I was going to find out one way or another.

"But since you've had your turn putting me on the spot, I have a question of my own."

"What is it?" I sighed in annoyance.

"Why is it that you get mad at me for being a 'fake friend' when the whole time I was in here, you never even bothered visiting or stopping by?" I remained silent. I don't care if Rose got sad, I had business to deal with.

"Nice job trying to turn the tables. Unfortunately, what you just did was pretty much like a magic act. I've seen this one way too many times, and you do a sloppy job."

Sometimes, you just gotta rip off the band aid. I was chainsawing this mother fucker into shreds.

"No Tori. I get you're like an angry troll all the time but just tell me, what was just so important that you didn't even bother seeing your friend? Am I even considered a friend to you anymore?"

No answer.

"Right. But the second Adam's name is involved, you come rushing in my room interrogating me like a damn detective."