Waiting

43

JAY

I woke up really sore and sick. I should probably have a check up with a doctor or something. I rubbed my head and sighed. Leukemia was pretty much like having a fever on a daily basis. I hated it.

I freshened up and put on a pair of sweats and a muscle shirt. I mean I'm in a hospital; who cared about whatever the fuck you wore?

I roamed down the hallway before I heard a faint snore from another room. I opened the door just a little bit, and there she was. Tori looked so beautiful in her sleep. I had to keep reminding myself that she was Adam's, but damn was he lucky.

"Wake up sleepy head" I smiled while tapping her lightly. She woke up in an instant, fear visible on her face. She quickly took out a pocket knife from under her pillow and stabbed me. I fell to the ground, calling for her. For someone. She got up and walked right over me. Just like everyone else has.

___________________

I woke up in an instant. I guess it was just one of those night sweats. It's weird because fear is the last thing I've grown accustomed to when living my life.

It kind of pissed me off though. I knew Adam was honestly a good guy, but I've been through so much shit and I would like a girl like Tori.  Everyone in my life had come and gone and she looks like the one who can keep me grounded throughout this bullshit. It's fucked up for me to take away the one reason of happiness in Adam's life, but there's something about Tori that just wants me to get to know her.

I sighed and got ready for the day. The goal was to stay away from everyone and just do me for today. I hated seeing everyone around me truly happy and then having to pretend like I'm recovering well like them.

I left my hair the way it was and just put on a pair of chinos and a blue button down shirt. After breakfast I figured I would head out and maybe see how my business was doing.

You see, I'm secretly a master at pottery. My parents always lived out their perfect world fantasies while I was alone in the attic, sculpting what I wished was myself. It was a way of making something that was nothing, after coming to the realization I couldn't even try to do it to myself.

I snapped out of my deluded thoughts. I refused to think about them.

At this point I didn't even know where I was going. I somehow managed to make it to the third floor of the hospital, where they had their own recreational center for kids. I inhaled a huge breath of nostalgia, causing my to choke for a moment. A memory of myself being one of those kids immediately came rushing to my head. I turned around and ran as fast as I could downstairs.

I ran to what was assumed to be my room and washed my face along with the dried up tears. I ran through my short hair and sighed. It's been a few days and already I'm unstable.

"Fuck, just when I thought my nightmares were over" I muttered. Inward a quiet gasp from outside the bathroom and took a second to look around the room.

Oh shit.     

This isn't my room.

I opened the door and my heart rate increased dramatically when I stood face to face with a half asleep Tori leaning on the wall.

Great, what a way to get her to like you.

"I'm sorry about that Tori. I was  really out of it this morning and-"