Waiting

34

TORI POV

I had to leave and get myself together. I couldn't become too attached to him if he didn't even know what he was talking about. I guess maybe it was just that time where I had to give up.

Am I still too young for love? Am I not ready to committing to Adam? I want to be there to support him, but as what? I hate labels because that's what's confusing me the most. If I get all in my feelings and he dies- I won't know what to do with myself. But if I confuse my true feelings for him and push him away until I'm permanently out his life, I won't be able to forgive myself.

I couldn't stay in the hospital seeing people like this. It was too much. The whole thing when the only time people show up is because they feel sorry for us and wanna donate stuff. It's not a bad thing, but I'm tired of people always looking at my life as a sob story that can be fixed with money or something. It's not gonna help my disorder anyway.

So, I walked out of the hospital to get some fresh air. But in reality, I needed to go home.

The meds were the only thing keeping me stable. Everything else at the hospital was just making me think about my old life. I shoved my hands in my pocket and walked home with my head down all the way.

I was ashamed of whatever was wrong with me. There were so many different labels I forgot. People would look at me different or think I wasn't capable of doing things. It hurts, but I'm stuck with it.

After drowning my head with thoughts, I finally arrived home. Or what was left of it. I used the keys from under the welcome mat to open the door. Things looked just the same from before I was admitted into the hospital. Except that I couldn't feel the positive energy that my home always gave me.

I walked upstairs to my mom's room. The same room where she was raped. I didn't know how I saw myself doing it, but it's something that I wanted to do for so long. I took a deep breath and walked inside.

There were so many family pictures of the 3 of us splattered across the room. Despite all the anger I've held from seeing what happened in this very room, I found myself smiling.

I picked up an old picture of mom and Dave at an amusement park. They both were wet and looking up when the picture was taken. I dusted it off and sat on the bed. Even though mom held so much sadness and pain for so long, she always made us smile. Wherever she was right now, I wanted to make her smile.

"I knew you would be here."

I did a 360 turn and caught my breath when I saw Dave. He no longer had a hospital band on his wrist.

"When did you get out?"

"An hour or so right after our talk. I was going to your room to tell you that I was ready to go. When I heard you screaming at Lenner for raping mom, I knew he was going to do something bad. So I went to get help. Once I knew he was locked away for good, I went home. It was a struggle for me too entering her room, so I put up the pictures so that it would be easier for you when it was your turn."

This is why I was going to miss Dave. Even when I wasn't ok and didn't tell him, he always knew how to make life a little easier for me.

I got up and hugged him. "Thank you" I cried. When I pulled apart from him, I noticed his eyes were red and watery.

"Do you still want me to go to the army? If you don't I won't go. It'll kill me knowing that I left you to be alone and handle all of this by yourself" he said.

Honestly, I didn't want him to go. But he was so selfless when it came to me, and I know he needed this to recover and be okay himself.  I knew that if he left, our relationship would never be the same. But regardless of how long we're apart, I knew the love will still be there.

"Yes" I nodded. "This is what's best for both of us. I need to be strong like you are, and to be able to take care of myself."

"Are you sure? I wanna make sure you're ready because anything can happen to me out there. Do you think you're ready for it?"

"Nope. But I'm still in the process of getting through this. As long as you write to me whenever you can and I stay on my meds, then I'll be ready" I assured him.

This time, I wasn't just saying it to say it. I said it because it's what I needed to have my wake up call. I'm stronger than I realize, it's just the atmosphere of the hospital where everyone's depressed always downgrades my mood.

"That's good. If you rely on people too much, that's when you're gonna get hurt. I need you to be strong for me Victoria Ivory Cooper. I know you can do it alone without anyone holding your hand."

"Thanks Dave. I really needed that."

"Give me a hug you little bitch" he laughed. I wrapped my arms around him for a little longer this time.

I helped Dave pack up his items and move his heavy luggage downstairs.

"Before I go," he said, "I need to give you something. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a Michael Kors necklace. But not just any necklace.

"That's the same one mom wore when she got raped."

"Exactly. Every picture that I put up with mom, she always had that necklace on. It was a reminder of how strong she was to overcome it. For us. I'm giving it to you because if she was so strong for us, you can be strong for her."

"Wait. How did you know she was raped?" I asked.

"Se told me herself, but didn't say who it was. She said when it happened she over heard footsteps running and thought it was me."

He put the necklace on me as I admired it. I gave him one last hug.

"Bye boo bear."

"Bye big head" I smiled.

I watched him as he packed all of his things into the trunk of his car.

"I LOVE YOU!!" He yelled from his car.

"I LOVE YOU TOO" I screamed, waving to him as he drove off. I closed the door and went inside. Since Dave's been living here for so long, he must still have some food. I went to the fridge and pulled out some food before sitting on the couch and turning on the tv.

When I sat down, I felt this little lump. I reached into my back pocket and behold, a roll of hundreds came out. Dave must've snuck it in my pocket while we hugged. I'll call him and thank him when I'm done.

"Good morning and thank you for tuning in on news 12 Long Island. This just in, there has been a tragic homicide inside of Memorial's institution."

Wait. That's the institution that Rose is in. I turned up the volume and continued to listen.

"Reports say that a patient by the name of Rose Valentino was poisoned while resting inside of this hospital. Footage shows a black hoodie entering her room and injecting a high dose of poison into her IV. Fredrick Sapphire, the main suspect in this case has just been put into custody. If anyone has any information of who killed this innocent person, please contact us immediately."

I dropped everything and changed the channel. Fred killed Rose.