Waiting

25

I ran away from the shadow and towards Rose's room. I did miss my bestie and I needed help. I softly knocked on her door, looking sideways to make sure the shadow wasn't following me.

"Come in" she said quietly. I stepped into the room and shut the door.

"Hey Rose, how you been?" I asked shakily.

"Better" she chuckled, staring at the ceiling. She told me her favorite color was violet. I wondered what about dark grey fascinated her so much that she took her time to study it. "Rose likes being alone. It gives Rose time to figure out myself instead of being in the same place as hi- I mean, the crazies. But I'm doing better" she smiled.

Talk about some freaky shit.

"Yeah um that's great, you know I just wanted to check up on you and make sure you were all good."

"Lies, Tori. I don't even have to look at you to know your lying. You want some advice, don't you?" She laughed. I was a bit taken back from her little side kick reading.

But if I didn't ask for help, I'd probably end up like Rose. Believe me, my condition was bad enough. Instead of constantly complaining about it, this time I was going to try and get some help. I had to help myself before I could help anybody else.

Before I could respond, her sharp voice spoke again.

"Whatever is going on with you can wait. You don't know what to do with yourself, but you perfectly know how to help others. If you focus too much on them, you're hurting yourself. If you focus too much on yourself, you'll block others out. It's working fine for me, but it probably won't for you. You've got too much going on Tori."

"Your right Rose, but it's hard juggling the two together" I sighed.

She paused and stared directly in my eyes, as if she was trying to see through me. At this point, she didn't need to do any of that.

"Shut up" she snarled.

"Excuse me?" I asked, furrowing my eye brows at her.

"I can either repeat myself in English or I can dumb things down a bit for you, it's your choice."

Oh shit.

All the time, people blame some of their problems as the reason why they're cruel to other people. When I fuck with people, it's because of something they did to me, not because of my condition. I've let my depression and PTSD determine a lot of shit I do, but I'm not letting it stop me from living my life. It seems like whatever happened is really getting the best of her.

I opened my mouth to talk, but she cut me off.

"Something happened with you and Adam, someone got their precious feelings hurt, and you come to me to help you. I give you advice, you leave and you don't come back until something else happens. And you have the nerve to disagree with me. If you really wanna do something in life other than dedicate your life towards him, you'll shut up and listen to me."

This girl was looking at the ceiling the whole time. How the fuck did she figure all this shit out?

"Well sorry" I muttered. "You can continue."

She banged her head on the wall and shook her head. "Don't help h-h-hi-" she stopped speaking. Her breathing suddenly became heavy. She kept rocking her head back and forth, looking like she was about to pass out. I quickly ran to her side and held her hand. "He's a liar, an evil demonic liar."

"The last time I came, this is like the same thing that happened" I said softly, still holding her hand. "Something happened to the both of us, and that's why I needed your help. But I need to help you first. Not because I want to be a good friend, but because I'm dying trying to find out what happened to you. Tell me Rose, who are you talking about?"

She looked back up at the ceiling and squeezed my hand. I patted her hand and waited for her to speak. She cocked her head and continued to smile at the ceiling.

"Never had Rose been shoved so hard" she replied quietly. "He's a liar. Told Rose he had a gift for her AND you. But he only took her. He took Rose to our room and told her how he felt about you. It was sweet, but Rose told him that he would have to face huge competition with Adam. He asked Rose to hurt Adam so that one more target was 'out of the way'. It would've been too suspicious if he did it."

Those words stuck to me. The fact that she had to narrate what was going ok because it was too horrific for her to say in person. But I had to be strong for her. I gave her a hug, and gently nodded for her to continue. She quickly squeezed my hand.

"She simply refused, and he pushed her to the floor. He kept slamming my head, screaming at Rose to do it. And without even flinching, he took out a pocket knife and said 'karma' and walked out. We made a deal that if Rose ever told you this, he would come back to kill her. Rose struggled to get up Tori, she struggled. Rose wrote the note. She wanted you to know that she didn't hurt Adam for you. That she wasn't going to go down easily for someone she cares about. It costed Rose more drama to the head, and now she's  like this.

"Are you serious?!" I screamed.

"I heard about what happened to Adam" she replied, completely ignoring my question. "But it's just ironic how I'm stuck like this forever because I saved Adam's life, yet you put me on a high ass pedestal without even knowing what I did. I'm supposed to help you with advice and always be there for you and blah blah. Yet with Adam, you don't expect him to do anything for you. If you did, then I want you to tell me what he does for you that's so special that you put everyone including me on hold just for you to get his attention.

So basically what I'm saying is that now you know the truth. And you're little boy toy is lying to you. He hurt me. But Adam, oh Adam's death will be so beneficial for me. Finally for the first time you can figure out who your real friends are. 'Cause mr funny boy or prince Adam aren't."

She let go of my hand and looked at me. "Now you can leave me alone."