JJ Maybank Imagines

Why didn't you tell me?🤍

I waited outside my house for John B to come pick me up in the Twinkie and drive me to school. I had my license but I didn't have a car so John B had no problem driving me. He also drives Pope and JJ, sometimes Kiara joins but she has her own car that she mostly uses.

Today is one of those days where Kiara is driving herself, which means it is just me, JJ, Pope, and John B. Which on any other day that would be fine, but considering me and JJ had broken up within the last week of summer, this ride was going to be hell.

When John B pulled up to my house I stood up and grabbed my bag, swinging my bag over my shoulders.

"Hey JB." I smiled at him, trying to seem like I wasn't nervous. When I got in the Van Pope was sitting in the passenger seat, meaning JJ was sitting in the back right next to me. Great.

I tried not making eye contact with him, but that shit was like math, difficult. Every once and a while I would accidentally glance at him. God why am I so stupid, I should have walked to school today.

"So y/n, how are you." I know Pope was just trying to be a good friend, but did he have to ask me that in front of JJ, it's not exactly like I can say the truth. Tell him that I've been crying myself to sleep thinking about how badly I fucked up, tell him that I feel like shit, and that I wish I could go back and change what happened between us. But instead I have to lie.

"I'm doing fine, Pope." I lean my head against the window, the drive to school takes forever. And it feels even longer when you are sitting next to your ex.

I could see JJ looking at me in the side of my eye, I could tell what he was thinking without even needing to see him. He knew I was lying. If there was anything JJ was amazing at, it was always knowing when I'm lying.

I felt my eyes gloss over with tears but I tried to blink them away. I can't cry here, not I front of them. I ran my hand trough my hair before my leg started bouncing. I do that a lot when I'm nervous, or have too munch anxiety to the point where I am on the edge of an anxiety attack. I'm not sure which one was happening right now, JJ could always tell the difference.

I guess Blondie noticed my actions and figured I was about to have an anxiety attack, because he slid his hand onto my thigh and tried to stop my leg from bouncing. I looked over at him fully knowing that I had tears in my eyes. He didn't even look at me, he just kept his head facing forward along with his eyes.

I hate this, I hate not being able to talk to him like I used to, I hate not being able to lean on him when I get tired on the way to school, I hate not being able to know what is happening in his life, I hate not being his best friend.

I looked out the window trying to take my mind off of everything, but it was kind've hard when I could feel JJ's hand resting on my thigh. God I miss when he did that just for the sake of it, he's only doing it now because he knows how bad my anxiety can get. I like that he still cares, but part of me hates it. I'm not sure why.

When we arrive at school, I am almost ready to explode, I needed to get out of that van before I break down into tears.

I slide the door open and wave goodbye to John B before walking off as fast as I can without seeming weird. When I reach the inside of the building I find my way to the bathroom and into a stall where I immediately break down into tears.

I can't do this anymore, I can't act like I'm okay when it's very clear that I'm not. I can't act like I don't miss him because I do, I miss him so much that it hurts to think about. But that's all I do, all I do is think about him. I think about the way the sunlight used to hit his hair at a perfect angle making him look like he was too good to be true. I think about the way he used to draw patterns on my back when we cuddled. I think about the late night talks about everything and anything while we walked along the beach holding hands. The conversations that we had as we cuddled in the spare bedroom of the chateau. All the tickle fights and the I love you wars that he would always win. I can't think about anything with out finding a way that brings back the memory of him.

I heard the door of the bathroom open and I try to hide the sound of my sniffles. The last thing I need is some popular girl finding out that a I was balling my eyes out in the bathroom stall.

I was leaning against the one of the walls in the stall. So even if any one were to see my feet it was very clear that I wasn't using the toilet, meaning I just looked like a girl who stands in the stalls for no reason.

"Y/n? Are you in here?" I guess it wasn't a girl who had walked in, it was JJ. His voice sounded gentle, like he was scared of something. JJ never had a problem walking into the girls bathroom, we would always skip class and hang out in here where no teachers would look for us.

I wiped my tear away before unlocking the stall door and walking out with a smile trying to make it seem like I wasn't crying. I began washing my hands and he just stood there watching my every move.

"Please talk to me." He practically whispered I looked up from the sink and stared at my reflection. My eyes were puffy and red, so even if I had wiped my tears it was clear that I was crying. And the fresh tears that were forming just now didn't help my case.

I turned around and grabbed paper towels to dry my hands. When I turned around I tried to act as calm as possible. But it didn't help that a tear rolled down my cheek as I turned.

"I'm fine JJ, just go to class." I wiped my tear but he just stood there not moving. "JJ, I'm serious. I'm fine." I saw his eyes gloss over the same way mine did in the car. Why was he crying.

"I'm not. I'm not fine Y/n. I haven't been fine." A single tear rolled down his cheek and I wanted to punch myself in the face for what I did to him. I wanted to hug him but I can't. "Please Y/n can we just talk. I hate not being able to talk to you." He let the tear drop, but didn't wipe away the tear stain on his face.

I nodded but agreeing to talk to him and thinking about what I would even say just made me break down. Hearing him say he hates not talking to me made me want to die. I instantly broke down into tears causing my legs to almost give out and make me collapse on the floor but JJ stepped forward and caught me just in time. Bringing me Into a hug.

"I'm sorry Jay. I'm so so sorry. I didn't want it to be like this I swear." I cried into his arms and he just held my listening to everything I had to say.

"Shh Y/n it's okay. It's okay." He calmed me down with just the sound of his voice. Never in my entire life was someone able to do that the way he does it. I could have a gun to my head and all I would need is for JJ to tell me it's okay, and I would believe him in a heart beat.

"I shouldn't have left you." I continued sobbing and he continued holding me. Eventually he calmed me down enough where I was barely still crying. I pulled my head away from his chest and looked up at him.

His eyes were red and puffy just like mine, and he had tear stained cheeks. I brought my hand up to his face and wiped his tears away. His face softened into my hand and he closed his eyes from my touch.

"I still love you Y/n. I never stopped loving you." I whispered as he opened his eyes and gazed into mine. He looked scared for what my reaction might be. But I just softly smiled at him.

"JJ, I don't think I could stop loving you even if I wanted to." He chuckled before sniffling with a happy and sad mixed expression.

"I can't do life without you. I don't think I ever want to." He wiped my tear away. "Can we forget about the break up and go back to what we used to be." I smiled at his words. I don't think there was anything else I wanted ti hear more than those words.

I nodded and snaked my hands around the back of his head to play with his hair. He pulled me into a kiss and I swear it felt like no other.

I had him back. And this time I will never let him go again.

Mm I guess this is cute. I'm exhausted. Also sorry for writing so many sad ones, I'm just not in the mood for happy. This one seems happy enough tho. Even if there is a lot of crying, the end is happy tears so. Meh whatever.