Luscious Man Series 1: Zaimon Luther Suarez

KABANATA 41

Nagising ako nang maramdamang umaga na. Babaling sana ako sa kabilang banda ng kama ko nang maramdamang may nakapalupot na braso sa baywang ko, at mabibigat na hita sa hita at binti ko.

Napamulat ako ng mata at mukha agad ni Zaimon na nakadapa, nakayakap sa akin, nasa pagitan ng dibdib ko nakabaon ang mukha at may maamong mukha habang natutulog ang bumungad sa akin. He's half naked while sleeping peacefully.

I was mesmerized by the look of him, feeling comfortable in my arms while sleeping peacefully. His protruding red lips were touching the valley of my breast.

Hindi muna ako gumalaw at minemorya ang hitsura niyang natutulog habang mahigpit ang yakap sa akin. Ang braso at balikat kong inuunanan niya ay iniangat ko para maabot ang kaniyang magulong buhok. I smiled as I look at him, cuddling like a baby. I brushed his hair gently making him move, I thought he would be awake, but he didn't. Mas lalo lang niyang ibinaon ang mukha sa pagitan ng aking dibdib. Mas lalo niya ring hinigpitan ang yakap sa akin.

He's squeezing me while still sleeping peacefully. Napakunot pa ang noo at napapanguso na parang may kinaiinisan siya habang natutulog. Kahit tulog, mukha pa rin siyang suplado. Suplado pero mapang-asar.

Ramdam ko ang mabigat niyang paghinga sa dibdib ko. At dahil malapit siya ngayon sa akin ay kita ko sa mukha niya ang pagod. Siguro ay pagod na pagod talaga siya sa mga nagdaang araw na nasa trabaho siya sa Manila. Even if his handsome face hid all the tiredness he's really feeling, I still can see it closely now. His face is void of emotions sometimes but I know how he feel because I know him too well.

"You really look tired," bulong ko habang nakayakap na ang isang braso sa kaniyang baywang at marahang hinahaplos ang kaniyang buhok ng isang kamay.

Kahit anong pigil ko sa sarili kong h'wag ka munang mahalin, nagmamatigas talaga ang puso ko. Ikaw talaga tinitibok, e. Nakakapagod naman kung pipigilan ko nang pipigilan ang nararamdaman ko.

"Don't tire yourself too much in everything ... in loving me." I kissed the top of his head and close my eyes.

I'm not sleepy anymore but I just want to enjoy this moment with him. To be in bed next to him. To be hug by him while he's sleeping. To see him in peace while he's in my arms now. So am I, too. I feel at peace when I'm with him. Feeling his warmth gives so much ease to me. That's why... I really can't push him too much. Na kahit sabihin kong iwan niya ako, may parte pa rin sa puso ko na ayaw siyang umalis. Na kahit sabihin kong tigilan na niya ako, may parte pa rin sa puso ko na nagsasabing h'wag siyang tumigil dahil alam ko sa sarili kong hahanap-hanapin ko rin lahat ng ginagawa niya.

He's my safe place.

He's my comfort.

He's my home.

But how can I go home if I'm still lost? Lost in everything? Still blaming myself for the tragedy I've caused. For losing my love ones. For losing my family. I hated myself for years. I'm blaming myself 'til now. So, how can I be with him if I'm still thinking the worst of me?

My mind is in haywire I couldn't think properly, more so if he's around me. Not directly telling me that I am not the one to blame. Telling me that it's not a big deal to him that I ruined his life. I definitely ruined his life. His family's life.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at dahil sa pag-iisip ng kung ano-ano, nakatulog ulit ako. Nagising na lamang ako nang maramdamang may malambot na bagay akong naramdaman sa aking labi. Napamulat ako nang marahan at naabutan si Zaimon na hinahalikan ang aking labi. He smiled sweetly when he saw me awake. He gave me three consecutive kisses on my lips before pushing himself out and look at me playfully.

"Bangon na, umaga na. Baka hindi pa ako makapagpigil at ikaw ang gawin kong agahan diyan." Biglang nag-init ang katawan ko at pati ang pisngi dahil sa sinabi niya.