I hugged the toilet as I emptied my insides into the toilet. It was three in the morning, and I had just had another nightmare of Josiah's face being shot by Rylan. I had that same nightmare every night. And I wish I could blame my vomiting on that but truth be told, I did it at all hours of the day. "You okay baby? What is this the third time today?" My grandma asked. As she stepped into the bathroom pulling my hair back. Nodding I retched again, holding tightly to the toilet. "That's it, first thing in the morning I want you to call Rylan and tell him you're coming by. Enough is enough. Y'all have to talk if not about anything else definitely about this." She said running some water and passing me the cup I took a sip, hoping it was settle my stomach.
Two months ago, I moved back in with my grandma. I didn't officially move my things out of the house because I still had hope. When I went to get clothes he was never there. I hadn't seen his face in two months. And I wasn't ready to face him like this.
"Get some rest." My granny said. "Can I sleep with you granny?" I cried. "Of course you can baby." She said as we walked down the hall towards her room. Getting in the bed, I cuddled her. "I really messed things up granny." I said into the darkness. "Yeah you did but Rylan loves you, no matter how angry he is. And he will love this beautiful being that y'all have created together." She said. "Can you not say that granny? I'm not ready to accept or even think for a second that I might actually be pregnant. Not right now in the middle of all of this." "Well baby get ready, because all the signs are there." She said. "Now hush and go to bed." Closing my eyes, I found myself praying. I prayed he would even hear me out.
****
"Girl go the hell over there. And stop being like that."Jon said. "And say what? Oh I think I'm pregnant but I'm afraid to take a test because I don't want it to be true, because you called off our engagement two months ago." I said. "Honey it don't matter how many times you tell yourself it ain't true, cus baby when it is there is just nothing you can do about it." Sevyn said rubbing her very pregnant belly.
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She announced to us last month that she and Rico were expecting. She thought the family could use a little happiness. She was growing everytime I saw her. "And look at least you'll go through your pregnancy with your best friend. I went through both of my alone." Kb said. "That's because your selection in men is horrible."Jon said. "Hoe shut the fuck up." Kb added. "Apparently so is mine." Nala said lowly looking at Bella. Although it wasn't out in the open I felt like she knew that Fabian was Canyon's father and it was starting to eat her up inside. Ever since that night me and Bella had grown really close. She had tried to contact me that night to tell me to stay away from Josiah but I didn't even read the message. I really wish I did.
