Fallon
One week later.
Today was the day I'd be going home. But I wasn't ready. I felt numb and like my entire world had shattered.
"How are you feeling today Fallon?" My doctor asked coming into the room. But I said nothing. "Still nonverbal I see, that's expected for someone dealing with a lost of your stature. But your vitals look great. I would just like to check your incision site one more time, and then I'll be sending you on your way." He said smiling at me. The nurse looked at me sadly as she helped me lay back.
Pulling my covers down, and my hospital gown up, he gently pressed on my stomach. As my mind went to the day I got this incision a week ago.
Flashback
"I just got home and she was bleeding profusely." Rylan said as he carried me through the hospital. "And she's pregnant." He explained as he placed me on the gurney that was placed in front of us. I was floating in and out of consciousness and the pain was almost unbearable. This felt like deja Vu. Rylan carrying me through the hospital.
"Sir we are going to take her back, we will come and grab you as soon as we have more information. Call her family." The nurse said as she held him back.
"Her name is Fallon." Rylan said as they wheeled me down the hall.
"Fallon, I need you to stay with us honey. We will give you something for pain in just a second honey." The nurse said from the side of me. But it was to no avail, I felt myself blacking out again.
***
Waking up there was a curtain covering the bottom half of my abdomen. But I couldn't feel anything.
My heart began to race.
"Heart rate increasing." The nurse said to the doctor before turning back to me. "I need you to calm down. I'm right here with you." She said.
"Rylan." I tried to say but the oxygen mask made it come out rather unclear.
"Your husband? He is in the room waiting on you. Just try and relax for me honey. We are almost done." She said. And I nodded. I didn't know exactly what was going on but I had an idea. I had seen this many times on tv. I just couldn't fathom that it would ever happen to me.
Closing my eyes I tried hard to settle my nerves. But knowing the reality of what was going on, a tear slipped from my eyes.
***
Opening my eyes I was settled into a hospital room. But the only person here was Rylan who was starring at me.
"Hi." I said lowly to him.
"How you feeling?" He asked me.
"I actually don't feel anything. I just wish I had details about what was going on." I said honestly.
He just looked at me sadly but his face held another emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on.
"Rylan what's going on?" I asked.
The room door opened and my doctor walked in.
"Glad to see your awake Fallon." He spoke looking down at his clipboard.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"You've suffered from an ectopic pregnancy. You were about 14 weeks along. And an ectopic pregnancy means that the fertilized egg was planted outside of the uterus. Where it was unable to survive because there's a chance it could have damaged your organs. Which is also why you were bleeding so profusely. If your husband hadn't brought you in when he did, you might not be here to hear this right now Fallon. You should consider yourself very lucky." The doctor spoke and I nodded in understanding.
"So basically I'm not pregnant anymore?" I asked.
"Correct."
"It just wasn't my time. That's okay. Everything is on God's time." I said more to myself than out loud.
"But there's something else you need to know." The doctor continued. How could he possibly have more to say after something like that?
"You have what we call incompetent cervix. What test show may be the result of previous sexual assault. Incompetent cervix means you have weak cervical tissue, which will cause premature birth or the loss of a healthy pregnancy." He said. Looking at Rylan he avoided eye contact. Returning my attention back to the doctor.
"So what does that mean?" I asked.
"The chances of you carrying a pregnancy to full term without complications or it resulting in miscarriage or stillbirth is about a 10% chance which is rather low." He said. And I suddenly felt enraged. What he was telling me was that I was never going to be a mother. I would never be able to be for my child what my mom wasn't for me.
"I will give you some time to discuss with your husband. The nurse will be in a few to check on you." He said exiting my room.
"My husband." I chuckled as a tear slipped out of my eye.
"That's what I had to tell them, in order to find out what was going on with you." Rylan explained.
"Well you're not. And I'm not." I said and I was now full blown crying.
"You're not what? Fallon it's okay. We will get through this like we get through everything." He said standing up.
"No. I'm not your wife. Im not even your fiancé anymore. I'm no longer the mother of your child. And according to the doctors I never will be. So just leave." I said lowly.
"Fallon. We will be--."
"I said leave!" I yelled. He looked at me plainly. "Just leave Rylan." I said crying.
"You don't have to go through this on your own. I'm hurting too Fallon. But I don't want to leave your side."He looked at me sadly.
"Rylan after nine years this is all I wanted. To be your wife, and to mother your children. And I'm neither. So it's settled. There's nothing here for you anymore. Just leave." I said sobbing as I pulled the covers up to my chin. Nodding he left out of the room. Sobbing I was so angry and hurt. And I simply wanted to be alone.
"Alright Fallon. Everything looks good. Your discharge papers are right here. And I wish you the best of luck." My doctor said before leaving the room. My granny and dad stepped in.
"You ready baby?" My dad asked. Nodding, he and my granny helped sit me up.
"Ms. Gladys you really shouldn't be lifting like that, let me help you." Jon said coming to my aid. Helping me out the bed, he pulled my sweatpants on. And pulled a jacket on my arms as he helped me into the wheelchair. Pushing me out into the hallway my family and friends stood with cards and balloons. Looking at everyone, Fabian and Nala stood with Jace. Sevyn, Rico and Trey stood close by too. Even Isabella and Canyon held balloons and flowers. And Kb stood next to my cousin Brea. But he wasn't here. I couldn't blame him though, I had probably officially run him off.
"He can't be too far, he's been calling everyday to check on you." My granny said kissing my cheek. Nodding that gave me hope. And right now I could use just a little.
