Phan Oneshots

Missing Pieces

a/n: ok guys this one ive been working on for a while now and yeah uh i really like it?? its almost a mini fic instead of a oneshot but w/e
i had fun writing it, i hope you like reading it.
word count: 3529

Phil was getting old now. At least, he thought so. He was well aware he had many years ahead of himself, yet the 22 year old still found himself in the same loop every night: going to a bar, getting drunk, then stumbling through the park, hopelessly looking for someone to help him. Not help him home. He knew how to do that. Help him... be better. He was breaking. Oh, Lord, Phil Lester was breaking. Every ounce of his being was deteriorating. He needed to change. And soon.
It was a normal Friday night at the bar that Phil had become a regular at. All the bartenders knew him. And they all knew to stop giving him drinks when he started slurring his r's. It was his trademark for getting drunk. They would say it was vodka when it was water. Who cared? It all tasted the same to him, anyways.
Phil was downing the standard martini on the rocks when a young man, a few years younger than Phil, sat at the bar near him. He had dark brown hair shading his eyes, which caught Phil's interest. He called Angela, one of the tenders, and asked for two beers. One for him, one for the "young man in all black".
Phil could overhear Angela talking to the kid, in her thick accent. "So that striking man over thar bought ya a beer, I don't know how he knows ya, but here." She slid the bottle and the boy caught it with surprise. He glanced over to Phil and smiled. Angela brought Phil's drink to him, too.
Phil had had some "liquid luck" already, so talking to this dark haired beauty wouldn't be a problem. Not for Phil, the suave, debonair, charming, and greatly handsome gentleman. At least, he thought that of himself after drinking. He moved to the seat next to the kid, who sat sipping from the oak coloured bottle slowly.
"Hey there." Phil greeted, trying for the boy's attention.
"Hi... So, you bought me this, right?" This dark haired beauty spoke with a soft, almost posh, Southern accent. Phil nodded. "Thanks, but I don't think I really... know you."
"You don't." Phil supplied.
"Well, then, hello, stranger-who-just-happened-to-buy-me-a-drink, my name is Dan."
"Dan, what a nice name. I'm Phil." He gave a hand, which Dan took. "So do you just accept every drink you get? Especially ones from clearly older men who you don't even know the intentions of?"
"Hey, a drink's a drink. And I really hope you don't have any bad intentions..." Dan smiled. Phil noticed he had a dimple.
"I don't, I was joking." Phil laughed. "I mean, unless you're down for that."
"Are you asking me if I'd fuck you?"
"If you want to put it that way, yeah."
"Well, sorry. I'm not that easy. Plus, I have a girlfriend." Dan's face went red.
"A girlfriend? You?" Phil tried to restrain a laugh.
"Okay, fine. I'm single. But, I don't want to have a one night stand. Sorry, bud." Dan patted Phil on the back condescendingly.
"So you are gay." Phil checked.
"Yes, I guess so." Dan looked down. "It doesn't matter, though, because I'm not letting you fuck me tonight."
"So you're a bottom, good. And I don't want to... tonight. But Dan, I do think you're cute. Maybe we could talk again? Be friends? I know a park nearby- it's great to talk in. Not as loud."
"Lead the way, Prince Charming." Dan spoke sarcastically. Phil led the younger out, worming through drunken couples grinding on each other and others trying to talk as they just were. Once the two were outside, Phil breathed in deep, taking in the fresh air.
"Free of the scent of sex and cheap alcohol." He joked, getting a small chuckle out of Dan. He walked the younger to the park where he spent so much time. "Here we are, the park. Pretty, innit?"
"Yeah, I guess. So, Phil, tell me about yourself." Dan found a bench and sat, leaving room for Phil, though Phil just sat closer to Dan.
"I'm 22, living in a Manchester flat alone, spending my Friday nights at a cheap bar, hoping to get out of that loop. What about you, pretty boy? What's your story? You clearly aren't from up here." Phil leaned back in the bench, wrapping his arm around Dan.
"Well, I'm, uh, 18 right now. And I'm thinking of going to, uh, Uni up here. I'm just visiting." He didn't push Phil's arm away, as Phil had thought he would.
"Ew, Uni. Sorry, don't mean to be rude. I went to Manchester Uni. Fun, but I dropped out."
"Well, I'm not planning on dropping out." Dan said, matter of fact. "I want to study law."
"You, a lawyer?" Phil laughed. "Sorry, again. You just don't seem like the lawyer type. You look like an art major. Maybe music."
"I, uh, I do play piano." Dan murmured, being rather shy.
"Piano?" Phil perked up. "I love piano. Always wanted to play an instrument. I almost played violin, but the teacher sucked. That's so cool! Maybe you could teach me?"
"Nah, I'm not great." Dan ridiculed himself.
"Shut up, you're probably wonderful." Dan blushed at Phil's words. "So, you got a last name, and maybe a phone number? I like you a lot."
"Uh, yeah. Do you have paper?" Phil nodded, then handed him crumpled up looseleaf from his pockets. Dan had a pen with him. He scribbled "Dan Howell" and a number beneath. Phil pocketed the contact. He stood up, Dan followed suit, and they started walking.
"I'm Lester, by the way. Howell, what a nice name. Just wondering which would fit better. Phil Howell? Dan Lester? Maybe Howell-Lester. Nah, Lester-Howell. Me first." Dan giggled at the older's thought process.
"I just met you, and you're already figuring out who's name we are going to take when we marry?"
"When? So you're down for marrying me? Boy, you better watch your tongue. You're letting a lot slip through." Dan blushed. He pushed his hair back, revealing chocolate brown eyes that Phil instantly fell in love with. "You're actually so attractive. Jesus, how do I keep my hands off? You're perfect."
"I- Uh," Dan stuttered as the black haired boy ran his fingers through Dan's hair. It was his weakness. That, and his neck. Phil didn't know that, of course, when he started moving his fingers down to the neck area. Dan froze. "P-P-Please, don't t-t-touch my neck."
Phil moved his hands and looked at the boy quizzically. "Okayyy.... Fine, but why?" Dan tried to stutter a reply, but when he fell short, Phil dropped his jaw. "Oh. Ohhh... Turns you on, does it?"
"Okay, you can stop flirting now." Dan pushed the elder away. "I told you, I'm not one for one night stands."
"And for the last time, I don't want one!" Phil groaned. "Just because I think you're hot, and because I developed a crush on you somehow in the past half hour-"
"You think I'm hot? And you have a crush on me?" Dan asked, surprised.
"Well, yeah. How wouldn't I have?"
"Because I'm shitty and an asshole and also you barely know me." Dan kicked a small pebble below his feet.
"Hey, you're not shitty or an asshole as far as I know. And I don't need to know you well to know I like you. You know, my mum always told me I should follow my dreams. Can I follow you home tonight?" Phil glanced up from the ground he was watching as the two walked.
"That's the cheesiest thing you've said so far, and that's saying something." Dan giggled. Phil looked down at their hands, and took Dan's in his own.
Dan glanced down, then back up to Phil, staring straight into his vibrantly blue eyes. He smiled shyly, and took his free hand and pushed his hair back. He knew he was blushing and was probably redder than ever.
Phil leaned down to the 18 year old, only an inch or so shorter than he, and kissed him softly. Dan closed his eyes and returned it carefully.
"So if you aren't one for one night stands, then explain this." Phil spoke slyly.
"This doesn't have to be a one night stand, you know." Dan smiled.
"Are you saying-" Dan nodded. Phil's face lit up and he smiled. "I thought this kind of stuff only happens in movies."
"Yeah, but one of us would be a girl if this were a movie." Dan joked.
"In the movies, the couple usually goes back to one of their's places and ends up having rough sex-" Phil flirted with a wink.
"We're not in a movie." Dan stopped him. "But I really don't want to go to that hotel tonight..."
"You can come to mine? It does get kinda lonely and boring living by yourself."
"What time is it?" Dan asked.
"Uh, quarter past twelve. Why?"
"I wanted to see if maybe you wanted to go eat somewhere." He spoke shyly.
Phil smiled and squeezed his hand. "If not, there's always my place." Dan grinned as he looked at the older boy. For the first time in a long time, he felt happy. He felt something click in his mind. He knew that there was something about Phil, about his dark hair and blue eyes, about his posture, that made Dan feel something.
Dan couldn't really comprehend what had just happened. After all, he just came to the bar to drink. To get drunk. Because it'd been eighteen years, and he hadn't kept a friend for long. It'd been about six years of almost killing himself nightly. And he was about done. So he wanted to drink his feelings.
They walked aimlessly, Phil sort of leading. They didn't talk. They didn't need to. They just walked in silence, hand in hand, silly smiles plastered on their faces. They soon arrived at a road, where Phil called for a taxi. He told the driver, a tired woman, the apartment complex's location.
Dan looked at Phil, who looked out the window as they drove, paying attention for when they should turn. The younger just wanted to appreciate Phil. He could only see his neck, and he thought to himself, that's where I want to be tonight. He felt almost ashamed for it, but knew that Phil would be completely fine with it. It was just that his neck looked so entrancing. And he wanted nothing in the world more than to be able to even touch it.
That sounded creepy, Dan thought. He snapped out of the trance as Phil paid the woman.
"Have a good night!" He smiled.
"Thanks, you guys too." She drove off quickly after they got out.
Phil walked his new boyfriend to the building that was his, then showed him to the bottom floor. He unlocked the door and Dan smiled when he stepped inside. Phil smelled good. God, he was just full of creepy things to say tonight.
Phil went to his room to check the bed was made, and told Dan to make himself at home. Phil knew the bed was made. He went and looked in the mirror, fixing his hair. He was nervous, for whatever reason. He sauntered back out, and told Dan it was all good in there.
"So... You tired?" Phil asked, the two apart by several feet.
"Not really."
It was so awkwardly silent that you could actually hear crickets. Dan laughed nervously.
Problem was, they both wanted the exact same thing at that moment, but both were too scared to act.
Dan stepped forward, so did Phil. They did this little dance until they were inches away from each other. Dan, though shorter, started it. He stood up on his toes and kissed Phil, putting his arms around his neck. Phil kissed back, but it was too slow. He put his hands on Dan's hips, before taking them underneath him and lifting him up. Dan wrapped his legs around the more dominant one's torso.
Now, Phil took even more charge. He pushed the younger against the wall, kissing him passionately.
"Phil?" Dan asked, dazed.
"Yeah?"
"Can I... Can I give you a hickey?"
Phil smiled at the boy's words. "Do whatever you want, so long as I can do the same." He winked.
Dan grinned eagerly, starting the kiss again, before moving down to Phil's neck. He nibbled lightly on the part he found the most nice. Phil nuzzled his nose and face near Dan's ear, and Dan could hear every breath he took, every sharp intake, and every heavy exhale.
And it was so hot.
After doing satisfactory work on Phil's neck, Dan began working off Phil's shirt. He had to readjust, and then Phil pulled Dan's off. Dan traced down Phil's chest, resting on his hips.
"You sure, Dan?" Phil asked, as Dan started to try his jeans off. Dan nodded innocently. How the fuck could he be innocent when he was in that position?
Dan kissed Phil again, then almost got his pants all off when there was a knock on the door.
"Shit." Phil murmured, quickly getting his pants on and grabbing a shirt. He rushed to the door. "Hello?" He opened it, and he realised he was wearing Dan's shirt. "Oh, hi, sir." The landlord was standing impatiently, tapping his foot.
"Neighbours were complaining about your getting home so late."
"Sorry, sir. I had to pick up my- uh, friend. Won't let it happen again."
"Yeah, whatever. Have a nice night."
"You too." Phil closed the door, hands shaking.
"Sorry, that was my fault." Dan spoke.
"No, no, it's fine. Neighbours get pissed easily." Phil reassured. "Now-" Phil was cut off with Dan pushing him into the couch as he kissed him.
Dan repositioned himself. "You told me you'd do the same I did for you."
"You're asking me to give you a hickey?"
Dan nodded. "My neck is sensitive, be ca-a-a-a..." Phil was already there, not letting Dan warn him.
He sucked lightly, leaving a mark centre stage. He went to Dan's ear after kissing him. "Dan? You're really hot, you know? I'd love to fuck you, honestly." Dan went red with blush, and his face wasn't the only thing with blood rushing to it. "Seriously, you'd be great. You have a great ass and a great neck and a great body and a great face and holy hell you're a great kisser. Sorry, I just really love you and also I really want to fuck you." Dan sat in shock.
"I'd like that." He whispered, trying to not be too enthusiastic.
"Are you giving me perm-"
"Oh, shut up, Phil." Dan smiled. "You can fuck me anytime. Now kiss me, you idiot."
Phil grinned and grabbed Dan by his shirt collar and kissed him. He knew he was fucked, with this whole thing. He didn't care. He'd somehow found a perfect person at a cheap bar.
He bit Dan's bottom lip, and Dan clearly liked it. The two were confused, but happy. They liked one another. A lot.
"Phil?" Dan stopped the kiss, forehead resting on Phil's.
"Yeah?"
"I want you." Dan breathed.
"Want me?"
"Yes."
"How do you want me? Like-"
"I want you in the way that I, uh, want you to be mine. You know? I don't want you to be with anyone else, and that sounds selfish. But-" Dan stopped.
"But?"
"But I just think you're so amazing."
Phil walked over to his couch and sat. Dan did the same.
"And I think that you give me hope."
"What do you mean?" Phil inquired.
"I don't know. I really don't. I love you."
"It's getting late." Phil changed the subject. He kissed Dan's forehead. "We should probably get to bed."
"I don't want to get up." Dan whined, like a kid. Phil found that adorable.
"Do you want me to carry you in there or something?"
"That'd be nice." Phil rolled his eyes and picked him up. He carried him like a baby, finding the whole thing ridiculous. He dropped Dan on the bed. "Rude." Dan scoffed as he crawled under the covers.
"You love me."
"I do."
Phil climbed in, and he got positioned, ending up with Dan's arms around him and being nuzzled into him. Dan was the big spoon, Phil the little.
It was the best sleep either had ever had.
****
It had been two weeks since he left in the morning, and it had been one since he went back to the south.
It had been one week since Phil had smiled.
Call him lovesick, call him crazy, call him stupid for being so in love with Dan. As Phil paced around the apartment one more time, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe it would just be a one night stand. Maybe they'd never see each other again. Each would just live as a fragment in memory as those little names. Dan Howell.
Dan Howell is such a pretty name, Phil thought. Phil Lester sounds like a plumber.
•
Dan didn't like home anymore. He really hated it. He had Phil's number, but he didn't want to call. He was nervous. Nervous to know what Phil would do. He said he loved Dan. But it seemed so fake.
The night was perfect, too perfect. There was no way it could've ever happened. Not really.
Still, Dan thought and thought about the 22 year old from Manchester. He typed with shaky hands Phil's phone number.
It was late, Dan didn't expect an immediate answer.
"'Ello." A groggy voice answered.
"Phil? Phil Lester?"
"Speaking, who's th- Dan?"
Dan blushed. "Hi."
"You called." Silence. "Final-fucking-ly. What's up?"
"I missed you." Dan blurted. "Are you still at that flat?"
"Same one as I have been. Why?"
"I'm going back up there. After graduation. Uni and stuff. And you."
"Really?"
"Mmhmm." Dan nodded, though Phil wouldn't see that.
"I can't wait."
"So... I still don't know much about you, Lester."
"What do you want to know?"
This little question launched a four hour conversation. Dan had never felt happier. Besides the time he slept with Phil.
"Night." He hung up the phone and breathed out.
•
Phil waited nervously at the Starbucks the boys planned their meeting at. Train station would be too much, and it'd be awkward to just show up at Phil's flat. Phil had drank two coffees and a frappe now, as he tapped his foot, jerking quickly every time he heard the bell chime to signal the door opening.
Another chime and a jerk.
Another and a jerk. But instead of Phil turning back solemnly, he beamed. He got up from his seat and ran to the brunet near the door, looking around. Phil embraced him, then kissed him on the cheek.
They hugged, and Phil spoke to Dan, "I missed you."
"I missed you, too." Dan smiled. The rest of the shop was carrying on with their own business, not minding this momentous occasion.
"Set your stuff over there." Phil gestured to his seat. "Want a drink?"
Dan nodded, and Phil led him to the counter. "One caramel macchiato, please, venti." He ordered, the barista marking the cup.
"Name?"
"Dan."
Dan and Phil stood at the counter at the end, waiting for the drink, hand in hand. A girl called out a loud "Dan?" and Dan rushed over to get it. She smiled when handing it to him, and said, "I saw you two hug. Internet friends or-"
"We're boyfriends."
"Oh, how long have you guys been together?"
"Hard to explain, we just met up after a long time."
"Well, best of luck to you." She beamed.
Dan rested his head on Phil's shoulder as he sipped. She was a nice person. She really was. She wanted them to stay together.
Dan wanted it, too.
It was funny, really. Two broken boys, two boys who didn't really know what they wanted or how they could get that, had found each other.
They didn't fit like puzzle pieces, no, it didn't take figuring out before they went together.
They were like two halves of a circle. They both knew exactly where to go. They both knew exactly what to do when they got together. They fit.
Funny.
It all started with a 22 year old from the north, and an 18 year old from the south, who both wanted to come to a cheap bar and drink until they were numb, because they'd lost all hope in finding happiness, let alone love, in the world they lived in. Both of them were hopeless. Both of them thought that that night would be their last. Both of them had a note.
But both of them crumpled that note.
Because now, they had someone. They weren't broken, or a half of a whole.
Dan was happy.
Phil was happy.
And they both wanted to stay that way for as long as they could.