Phan Oneshots

Don't Try Anything

word count: 3707
"Okay, Dan." Sara sat her 14 year old brother down on the couch in the living room. "I'm having someone over tonight, and I don't want you coming to my room unless it's a dire emergency and you've almost died or something. You can play X-Box or whatever, just don't disturb me tonight." Their parents weren't home, they rarely were, so Sara practically raised Dan.
"Who are you having over?" Dan asked curiously.
"A boy. Now go to your room and don't come out." Sara got up, pulling Dan by his collar and leading him.
"What boy? Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No, you twat. He's my friend. Only my friend."
"I won't come out, as long as you two don't make too much noise, I might think you got hurt if you scream too loud." Dan said, winking.
"Shut up." Sara said, shoving her brother into his room playfully and slamming the door.
She went into the bathroom and checked her hair, it looked fine. The doorbell chimed, and Sara ran to get it.
"Hey, Phil!" She answered to a black haired boy, about her age. "Come on in." Dan was already disobeying Sara's orders, wanting to see this boy. Sara took notice to this, and said, through gritted teeth, "That's Dan, he's my brother and I'd find it absolutely lovely if he were to come over here."
"Hey, little dude!" Phil said, trying to be nice to this younger boy. He tried for a high five, but Dan just scoffed.
"This is the boy you're about to have sex with? Hmmph. You could so do better." Sara hit Dan's arm.
"He's just joking, right, Dan?" She said, clearly annoyed, but smiling.
"Yeah, whatever." He turned to Sara and went into a stage whisper. "I don't think you can get lucky with him. He probably doesn't even like vagina." Phil was turning a pale red, and Sara dragged Dan into the kitchen, again by the collar.
"Listen up, you little shit. Phil is my friend. We are not about to have sex, nor do either of us want to. Now go to your room and do whatever the fuck it is you do in there for hours."
Phil walked in, asking where to put his coat. "Um, I don't mean to interrupt, but..." He took in what he had just heard. "I-Um, nevermind."
"I'm sorry, Phil. We aren't usually like this, Dan just seems to be kinda rude lately."
Dan had been through this kind of thing before, and he knew exactly how to handle it. He burst into tears. "Sh-She hurt my feelings, Phil!"
"Oh my God, Sara. I didn't think you were that kind of person. You seemed so nice at school." He turned to a whimpering Dan. "Do you want to go to ice cream or something?"
"That sounds great, thanks, Phil." Phil put his arm around the short boy.
"You'll be okay, bud." Phil started to turn around with Dan under his long arm, and while doing so, Dan turned to his sister, put up a not-so-nice finger, and left, closing the door hard. "Are you okay, Dan?" Phil asked, getting into the car.
"I'm fine." Dan laughed.
"Huh? Why are you laughing?" A confused Phil wondered.
"She didn't hurt my feelings, dude. That's normal. I just wanted to get to know you better before you start dating my sister."
"What?"
"I do this with all her potentials. I get to know them, then either let them in or don't. You passed the first test with flying colours."
"Oh. I'm not-I don't want to date Sara. She's not my type."
"So I was right, that's why you were blushing?" Dan asked.
"I'm gay, if that's what you're asking."
"It is," Dan said. "So, about that ice cream..."
"Fine."
~~~Phil + Sara's text conversation later that night~~~
Phil Lester: Sara, ur brother seems pretty cool.
Sara Howell: not rlly, but w/e
PL: How old is he, again?
SH: ur not trying 2 get into my bro's pants, r u?
PL: NO WHAT THE HELL SARA
SH: hes 14, btw, but dont try anything
PL: He's only 4 years younger than u??
PL: And I won't.
SH: yea, p sad right
PL: More like p rad, he's so cool for a 14 yr old.
SH: ur a gay nerd
PL: I know.
PL: You love it.
SH: shut up
SH: i have 2 sleep now gn
PL: Goodnight.
~~~Dan's POV~~~
Dan woke up to sunlight gleaming in through my curtains. "Fuck." He breathed out, and in his shock, there stood Sara.
"Watch your language, kid." She said, pulling the curtain up. "Get up, you're going to Phil's."
"W-what? Why?" Dan asked, shielding his eyes and attempting to cover back up.
"Nope." Sara said, ripping the covers off, revealing Dan in nothing but a pair of boxers. "Didn't need to see that. Anyways, I have to go somewhere with Kate today. Phil said he'd take care of you."
"I'm 14! I can take care of myself."
"Just hang out with Phil. He thinks you're cool or something."
"Fine, get out." Dan said, standing up and stretching.
Sara left the room, closing the door on her way out. Dan flipped on a light and turned to his wardrobe, skimming it for an appropriate outfit. Just the normal-jeans and a tee.
"Hurry up!" Sara said as Dan pulled on his other shoe.
"I'm coming!"
Sara rolled her eyes, jangling the car keys. She opened the door as Dan came jogging out, still putting on an off-white hoodie. "You take forever."
Dan stuck his tongue out at her as he got into the front seat. He turned on the CD currently in. "You listen to shite music."
"I'm driving, shut up." So Dan did, until they pulled into Phil's driveway. It was an apartment building.
"He lives by himself?"
"Yeah," Sara said. "He used to live with a boyfriend, but they broke up." Dan looked up and down at the building. "Second floor, third door to your right. Here are his keys if he doesn't answer." She tossed him a set of two keys, identical in style.
"Okay, bye." Dan said as she got into the car and sped away. He hurried to the flat, knocking, then beginning to fumble with the keys. Phil opened the door and greeted Dan. His hair was slightly damp, unlike Dan's.
"Nice hair." Phil said, letting Dan in. "I thought you had straight hair?"
"This is my natural hair, I straighten it."
"Oh, okay. You can put your jacket there, but I wouldn't put it down yet. I haven't eaten anything today, would you mind if we went somewhere?"
"If there's food, I'm in." Dan smirked, Phil sliding on a jacket and grabbing a set of red keys. "You like red?"
"Yeah, kinda." Phil smiled, walking down the steps. "How'd you guess?" He said, holding a red keyring with a red jacket on.
"I don't know, just a wild guess." Dan giggled. They got into the car, which had very comfortable seating. "Sara told me you thought I was cool."
"She did?" Phil asked, looking at Dan as he pulled out of the parking space. Dan nodded. "That bitch." He murmured. "Sorry, I usually don't curse."
"It's fine." Dan laughed. An awkward silence awoke, so Dan broke it even more awkwardly. "You had a boyfriend?"
"Yeah... We broke up a few months back, he took the cat, I got the flat." Phil said. "Mr. Muffins was a good cat. I miss him."
Dan giggled. "Sorry." He said quickly.
"It's fine."
"Do you have a phone?" Dan asked, a stupid question, stupid boy.
"Yeah, why?"
"Just wondering, I don't know, maybe I could get your number?" Dan said, with a cheesy smile.
"Sure." Phil told him the number as Dan typed it in.
They soon arrived in town, where they got Starbucks and stopped at a sushi place.
"Thanks, Phil."
"You're welcome, that was delicious."
~~~2 years later ; 16 yr old Dan, 20 yr old Phil~~~
Sara and Phil had stopped talking basically, Dan and Phil talked mostly. They'd play games on the X-Box at either's house, and had become great friends.
Dan kicked his feet against the concrete wall he was sitting on as he doodled in the sketchbook. He was adding some detail to the faces, drawing in focus on the hands.
"What're you drawing?" Phil asked, sliding in to sit next to Dan. Dan quickly closed the book, so as to make sure Phil couldn't see the drawings.
"Nothing." He rushed.
"What was it?" Phil taunted.
"Just a stupid doodle." Dan's face was filling with colour.
"Let me see! I love your art!" Dan kept the book closed, so Phil grabbed it, causing Dan to almost fall over and hurt himself.
"Don't!" Dan tried, but it was too late.
Phil had opened to the page of the two boys holding hands, hair almost identical, the fringe just on the opposite side. One of them wore flannel, the other, a plain shirt. "Who are these two?"
"N-No one." Dan said, biting his lip nervously. Phil turned the page over, revealing a page full of scribbles reading "dan + phil" with hearts around it. "Th-That's not you." Dan made a feeble attempt at digging himself out of the situation.
"It's fine, Dan."
"I-It is?"
Phil nodded, and reached for Dan's hand. "It's fine, Dan."
Dan took Phil's hand, grabbing it tight. "I j-just didn't want to ruin our friendship. I didn't mean to start liking you, it just happened."
"It's okay, Dan. Wait until you're older before we try anything. I don't want to hurt you."
"This is nice for now." Dan grinned, gently squeezing on Phil's hand.
~~~19 y/o Dan, 23 y/o Phil~~~
"God, moving is so stressful." Dan spoke over the phone.
"Well, at least you'll be able to be with me when it's all done." Phil tried, and Dan scoffed.
"Yeah. I'm so ready to just lie down and sleep."
"Come over now, I'll call someone to get the rest of your stuff."
"You're too kind, Phil."
"You sound tired."
"Thanks." Dan said sarcastically.
He hung up and moments later, Phil texted him. "Chris is coming, leave now." Dan grabbed his 'essentials' bag, which was basically his electronics.
Knock, knock.
"Dan?" Phil asked, getting up. "Come in." Phil let Dan in. "You look tired. Do you want to take a nap? Your room isn't set up yet, but mine is, or you can sleep on the lounge."
"Your room, please." Dan said groggily. He walked himself in there, knowing the way after many drunk pass-outs. He lay down in the bed and covered up with the blue and green comforter and fell asleep almost instantly.
Phil came into the room a few hours later, to check on Dan and see if he wanted something to eat for dinner. There he saw the brunette sleeping, all cozied up underneath the blankets. Phil smiled, and flipped off the lights.
"Goodnight, Dan." He whispered, softly closing the door behind him.
/Dan's POV/
I wake up uneasily. My vision blurs for a second, but I rub my eyes and it clears. The room is partially dark, only shadows in view. I call for Phil, as I hate the dark.
"Phil?" I sound like a lost kid. When no one answers, I get worried. I fumble for my phone, and unlock it, turning on the flashlight so I can get to the switch. I flip it on, and turn off my phone flashlight. I ring Phil.
Two beeps. "Hello?"
"Phil?" I ask, sounding young.
"Dan? Are you awake?"
"No." I say sarcastically.
Phil giggles. "Shut up."
"Where are you? What day is it? Where am I?"
"I'm at that pizza place downtown. With the really deep dish stuff. And it's still Saturday. You are in my room, you were asleep."
"You went out without me?"
"I'm just picking it up, I'll be home in about fifteen." I smile at the word home. It's our home.
"Okay." I sat.
"Got to go, bye." Phil says quickly, hanging up the phone.
"Bye, I lo-" I stop, he had already hung up. Shit. You need to stop trying, Dan. You have no chance with him, and you'd inevitably break up with him anyways. I lay back down on Phil's bed. It smells like him, like raspberries and... warm. Like hot chocolate on a cold day. It's soothing. Lynx is mixed in there, too, and everything smells great.
I don't know why, but I'm crying. Into Phil's pillow. The smell is almost intoxicating. I try to call a friend, get some help or something, but the only one I have is Phil.
/Phil's POV/
"Got to go, bye." I hang up the phone as I notice someone else is calling me. When I see the name, a million thoughts run through my head.
What does he want? We haven't talked in months. Since the breakup.
I accept the call. "Jack?" I answer.
"Phil." He answers, slurring slightly.
"Jack, why are you calling me?" I say, bored.
"I-I" Hiccup. "I still love y-you."
I roll my eyes. "How much have you had to drink?"
"Not m-much. My drinking doesn't have to do with this."
I take the pizza from the clerk, handing a ten pound note over. I nod in thanks.
"Have a nice night." He says as I walk out. I put the pizza on the passenger seat, and turn on the car.
"Jack, listen to me. I don't love you. Never have, never will. We were a thing, we aren't anymore." I attempt to explain.
"But I love you." Hiccup.
"Goodbye, Jack." I hang up, relieved that's over.
/3rd person/
There was a knock at the door. Dan expected it to be Phil, so he got up and opened it.
It wasn't Phil. It was a tall dirty blonde. He stumbled in, confused. "Wh-Who are you? Where's my Philly?" He slurred.
"Phil isn't... here... Who are you?"
"I'm Jack. Who are you?"
"I'm Dan. Jack Benett?"
"The one and only." The drunk blonde hiccuped.
"Leave." Dan said, when another person knocked. "Hello?"
"Dan?"
"Thank God." Dan muttered, opening the door. He pulled Phil into the kitchen, where Phil sat down the pizza on the counter. Dan pushed him against the counter.
"Dan?" Phil asked, taken aback as Dan pinned his wrists down on the granite counter.
"Benett is here." He whispered into his ear.
"Oh fuck." Phil breathed. "Please explain why you had to push me into a counter to tell me this."
"Just shut up." Dan breathed almost silently into Phil's ear.
Jack walked into the kitchen as Dan was lingering. "Phil?" He asked.
"Get off of me." Phil whispered to Dan. He got off, then sat right back down, as he didn't want Jack to see him that way. "Listen, Jack." Phil said. "We're over. We've been over. I'm not interested in you anymore. Please get out of my flat."
Jack took that as an invitation to plant a kiss on Phil's lips. "I missed you." Jack said, after a quick kiss.
Phil stood still, frozen in shock. Jack went in again, but Dan got up. There was still a tent in his skinny jeans, but he didn't care. "Did you hear him? He said to get out. Leave."
"Why do y-you" Hiccup. "care so much? He doesn't like you that way, idiot." Jack spat.
"Get out." Dan repeated, moving closer. "Or else." The 19 year old tried to be threatening.
"Or else what, muscle man?"
"I'll do something you won't want to see."
"As if. Y-You're too scared." Hiccup.
Dan turned around to face Phil, now more relaxed. He leaned in to his ear.
"I didn't want to tell you this way." He whispered, as he pushed Phil into the wall nearby.
"St-Stop it, Phil. You don't like Dan. He's barely even legal. I miss you." Jack pleaded.
"Leave." Dan said, again, only turning his head.
Jack left the room, and a door slammed in the distance. Dan let Phil loose.
"Sorry, I didn't want him doing anything to you that you didn't want. I don't know why I decided to do that, I'm sorry."
"Tell me what?" Phil asked.
"Huh?" Dan replied, getting a slice of pizza onto a plate.
"You said that you 'didn't want me to find out this way'. What did you mean?"
"Nothing, I was just trying to get Jack to leave." Dan said, blushing slightly.
"What if Jack didn't leave after you pushed me against the wall? What would you have done?" Phil asked.
"I don't know." Dan's face was flushed with red as his fingers trembled, reaching for a slice of pizza.
"Can you show me?" Phil asked flirtily. Dan was surprised, he dropped his pizza.
"Shit. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Phil said, moving closer to Dan. Dan picked up the dropped piece and when he got up, was face-to-face with Phil. Dan put the pizza down, and faced Phil. "Can I show you what I hoped you would do?" Phil whispered sweetly. Dan nodded, as Phil took his wrists and pinned them to the wall. Dan was already wishing he wore something baggier, the skinny jeans defined more than he liked. "Now what didn't you want me to find out this way?" Phil whispered into Dan's ear, nibbling it softly afterwards.
"You remember when we were younger, and you found that doodle?" Dan said in between breaths. "And I had a huge crush on you?" Phil nodded. "You told me to tell you that again when I was older if it was still true. It is."
Phil stopped nibbling on Dan's ear and went to his lips. He wasn't aggressive, just the right amount of intensity and force with the kisses. Dan let out a small moan as Phil increased his speed. Phil let go of Dan's wrists, so he could better touch and hold any part of Dan's body. He played with Dan's hair, and kept one hand on the back of his neck. Dan hated that usually, but it just added to the feel-good sensation when Phil did it. They stumbled out of the kitchen, moving in awkward unison, landing on the couch. Phil sat on top of Dan, a bulge also appearing in his jeans.
"Check that off my bucket list." Dan murmured, to Phil's confusion. "Give Phil a boner." Phil laughed, then continued kissing Dan.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted this." Phil whispered, kissing Dan's neck and collarbone.
"Sara is a bitch for saying we couldn't go out." Dan said. "I read the texts when I was 14. I already liked you then."
Phil slowly moved off of Dan, lowering to just an exchange of breaths with foreheads pressed together.
"I think I love you, Phil."
"I know I love you, Dan." Phil moved in for another kiss when his phone rang. "God, who the fu- Oh. It's Chris." Phil got the phone. "Hey, Chris."
"Can I come in? I've got some of Dan's stuff, but I heard some noise, are you two decent?"
Phil laughed, and Dan giggled, overhearing. "We're fine, Chris. Come in." Dan said, and Phil hung up. The door clicked open and Chris walked in, carrying a few suitcases full of clothing.
"I'm not interrupting, am I?" Chris asked, wheeling them in.
"No, not at all."
"So are you two... a thing, now, or what?"
Dan and Phil exchanged subtle glances. "Yes." They said together.
"I need to tell Pj about this. He owes me 50 pounds."
Phil laughed, doing his little tongue thing that Dan loved.
"Call him up." Dan said excitedly. Chris got out his phone and put Peej on speaker.
"Peej?" Chris asked.
"Hey, babe, what's up?" Pj answered. Dan and Phil snickered.
"I'm with Dan and Phil, here." Chris said.
"Shit, I didn't realise. Did they hear me call you-"
"Babe? Yes. I'm pretty sure they already knew we were together. Right?" Chris winked.
"Yeah." Phil played along.
"Anyways, they want to tell you something. I'd get out my wallet if I were you."
"Hey, Peej. It's Dan. Um, you kinda owe Chris 50 pounds."
"I've got a boyfriend." Phil said.
"As do I." Dan smiled.
"You're not-"
"We are." Dan laughed.
"Shit." Pj said.
Chris took the phone back. "When I get home tonight, be ready with the £50. And since it was at this age, you owe me a little something else..." He ended with a smirk on his face.
Phil giggled. Dan looked at him again and fell more in love.
Chris hung up the phone. "I've got to be going. Pj owes me something special, and I intend on getting it." He winked, and left the flat, closing the door.
Phil looked at Dan, and Dan looked at Phil. They both thought the same thing. He's perfect. Dan checked his phone, and the time showed 11:26.
"I still don't have my bed, that's coming tomorrow..." Dan hinted.
"You can sleep in mine."
"I love your bed, it smells like you. And you smell like happiness." Phil smiled, doing that tongue thing again. "Fuck, that's adorable."
Phil turned from pale white to tomato red. He kissed Dan again, then grabbed his hand. "Your hands are cold." He commented.
"Warm them, then." Phil took one hand and rubbed it in between his two, making it warmer. Dan took Phil's hand and led him to the brightly coloured room. He lied down first, and Phil turned off the light, then ran into bed. Dan cozied himself under the covers, bringing Phil even closer to him.
"I love you." Phil murmured, half asleep. Dan pecked his cheek and nuzzled into his shoulder, Phil's head on Dan's heart.
"Funny how you told Sara you wouldn't try anything and here we are." Dan laughed, snuggling into his boyfriend, who was long asleep.
Dan lay awake for a while, cuddling and enjoying Phil. A sleepy Phil spoke up.
"You smell like warm." He said, then moved closer.