Phan Oneshots

I'm Scared

**childhood - adulthood au, dan and phil are the same age in this one yeah ok**
word count: 2993
//5 years old
"Mum! Mum!" The small ginger prodded his mother.
"What, Philly?" She replied, poking the 5 year old back. He squirmed in response.
"I have a new friend, mum! His name is Dan!"
"Oh really? Where is this Dan from?"
"He just moved here and he has a funny voice. He talks like you when you do your Queenie impression." Phil explained in his own child words, trying to wrap his head around different accents.
"Is he in your class?"
"Yes! All of thems! And at recess, he played tag with me!" Phil beamed.
"No way." His mum said, acting as though she was shocked.
"Yes way!"
"What does Dan like to do?"
"He's really not loud, like you say I am. He likes to art." Phil's mum chuckled at the boy's usage of words. She picked him up, like Phil had always liked.
"So what do you want to eat for nummies tonight?" She asked.
"Pizza!"
"You choose that every night, silly. If you keep eating pizza, you might become pizza!" She warned.
"Good. Then I can eat myself." He retorted.
//8 years old
The four young boys sat in a circle-ish formation. They were having a sleepover at Chris's house, for his birthday. "Truth or dare?" Pj asked the host.
"Truth." He said.
"Who do you like?" Pj asked, the most used truth.
"I knew you would ask that. I don't like anyone right now."
"Sure..." The other three said, rolling their eyes. "Your turn." Dan said.
"Pj," Chris started. "Truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"I dare you to... not say anything for the next five minutes, no matter what." Pj started to say 'ok' but stopped himself. "Your turn, Dan."
"Truth or dare, Phil?"
"Truth."
"Who do you like?"
Phil went red. "You don't know who it is."
"What's her name?" Chris asked.
"Alex..."
"What does she look like?" Dan continued.
"Um, black-ish hair, green eyes, nice."
Chris rolled his eyes, at this brief description. "Talk about her."
"Um, he goes to that school downtown, and he likes to write," Phil said.
"Wait. He?" Pj said, it had been five minutes.
Phil flushed with colour again. "S-so?"
"That's weird, Phil. That's not right." Chris said.
"Says who?" Phil asked.
"You have a mummy and a daddy, not a daddy and a daddy."
Phil stormed out, and went to find Chris's parent. He said he felt sick and wanted to go home. Mrs. Kendall called Mrs. Lester and asked her if she could pick up her son. Phil got his stuff together and waited outside for his car.
Meanwhile, Dan had gotten up to get a drink of water and he saw Phil leaving. He drank the glass and went outside to where Phil was sitting on the porch steps near the pavement.
"Are you leaving?" Dan asked, startling Phil.
"Yes. Chris is being a meanie."
"If you're leaving, then I'm leaving. Those two were being jerks."
"Is there something wrong with me, Dan? Because I like a boy and not a girl?"
"No, of course not. Chris is just being dumb. You're my friend, Phil."
"You're my friend, too, Dan." They exchanged smiles and Dan went back inside, then returned two minutes later with all of his stuff.
"What are you doing?"
"I told you I would leave if you did."
Phil smiled. "Do you want to sleep at my house?"
Dan nodded, and Phil's mum pulled up. Phil told her that Chris was being mean, so he and Dan were leaving and asked if he could stay over.
"Of course, Dan. I'll call your mum."
//12 years old
His smile grew as he stood up on the stage, lights shining and hundreds of people applauding his performance. Dan starred in the school's play, and loved every second of the performance. When the curtains closed after the final performance, Dan exited stage left, sweat beading up on his forehead. His smile was ear-to-ear, pure joy is all he got from the performance.
As he headed to the common area, people pat him on the back as they rush out, telling him quick words of congratulations.
Dan sat down in an empty chair in the more silent area. He took off his hat, and unclipped his mic from his costume. The shoes were killing his feet, so he slid them off. Then he relaxed.
"Great job, Dan!" A voice said from out of nowhere.
"Thanks," Dan said, shrugging it off.
"You know, I never pictured you in theatre. But you did great up there. Congrats." The voice continued, now being recognizable.
"Thanks, Phil. You can stop now." Dan said, eyes closed.
"At least wait until you get home to sleep. We have pizza there, by the way. Well, it's on it's way, but you know."
"Okay, whatever. I have to change out of this ridiculously hot costume first."
"You're right, it does make you look ridiculously hot." Phil joked, and Dan rolled his eyes, grabbing his bag that had a pair of comfy jeans and a regular tee shirt.
//15 years old
"She's terrible." Phil reassured.
"I-I know. I d-don't know why I trusted h-her." Dan said, between cries.
"It'll be okay, Dan. She just wasn't the one." Phil said, rubbing Dan's back.
"W-What if I d-don't have a one?" Dan asked, lip quivering.
"You do, we all do. You might just not have met them yet. And remember, you'll always have me as your friend, even when terrible bitches dump you for no reason." Dan cried harder at Phil's remark, because he knew it was true. Phil hugged him, petting his hair to calm him down.
"I-I-I love you, Ph-Phil. Y-You are m-my best f-friend."
"I love you, too, Dan. You've been mine since we were 5." Dan's head was now in Phil's lap, Phil stroking his hair carefully. "You are a good person, okay? Never forget that."
Dan nodded. He couldn't speak, so he took his hands and formed them into a heart shape. Phil copied him.
//17 years old
Dan wore a few bracelets, but he only needed one. It was a green rubbed wristband, with white letters reading "You are a good person. Never forget that." Ever since Phil had said that to him two years before, he thought those words. When he relapsed again last semester, he thought those words, and asked Phil to say them a lot.
That night was different. Dan was a lot worse. He called Phil, and asked him to say them.
"Okay. You are a good person. Never forget that. Do you hear me?" Dan nodded, tears staining his face. "What's wrong this time?"
"I want to die, Phil. Not like I have in the past. A cut won't do it. I'm going to kill myself."
Phil hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket. He ran out the door and called a taxi, told them it was an emergency, and that they needed to go. He called Dan back.
"Dan? Dan?"
"I'm here, Phil. I took a few pills. I feel tired, I might sleep."
"How many pills did you take?"
"I lost count after twenty..."
"Don't fall asleep. Whatever you do, stay awake. I am on my way. Please, stay awake." He covered the mouthpiece and told the driver to turn.
"Phil? Are you there?"
"Yes, I am. I am right here. I'm outside, I'm coming in."
"Don't call 999. I don't want them here."
"I won't. I swear." Phil opened the door and sprinted up to Dan's room. "Dan?" He called.
"I'm in here." A sad voice replied from the attached bathroom. Dan sat in front of the toilet, clutching his stomach tightly. "I didn't mean to, Phil. I just want the pain to go away. I took at least 70 pills." He was soaked with tears, his already messy hair even messier.
"Oh, my God, Dan."
"Help me." He cried.
"Have you thrown up any yet?"
"N-No. I don't want you seeing me with throw-up all over me."
"I don't care what you look like, I want you alive. Do you think you could try to throw them up?"
"I'm scared." Dan said.
"Put your fingers in the back of your mouth and push. It'll feel bad, but I want you okay. I'm calling 999."
"Don't, please."
"I need to, please just throw them up." Phil left the bathroom and dialed the three digits.
An operator picked up and began to say the introduction. "I don't have time for that, sorry. My friend took over 70 pills and he is trying to throw them up. Please send help."
"What's your address?"
Phil told them and they said there would be someone there immediately.
*one hour later, hospital*
"You can come in now, Mr. Lester." A nurse told him. Phil got up from his seat in the waiting room, nervously. "The doctors got him under control. Mr. Howell is okay, but we need a parent or legal guardian to sign him out. You aren't either of those, I suppose?"
"No." Phil smiled anxiously as the nurse led him to Dan's room. He gasped when he went in. Dan sat in a hospital bed, wet hair and in a hospital gown. He was connected to multiple devices that measured different things Phil couldn't begin to comprehend. "You're okay." He smiled.
"Yeah. Thank you, by the way." Dan's voice was hoarse. Phil smiled again, nervous.
"Thank you for living. I wouldn't have a best friend if you hadn't lived."
"Thanks. I'm tired, I might sleep."
"Do that, get some rest. You are a good person. Never forget that."
Dan smiled as Phil left the quiet room, his eyelids heavy as they struggled to stay open.
//19 years old
"What's for dinner tonight?" Phil called into the other room of the dorm, which he had convinced the administrator to share with Dan.
"I don't know, cereal, probably."
"But it's a Saturday, I wanna go out!" Phil begged. "It's really nice today!" He added.
"I don't care, what do you want?"
"Ooh!" Phil perked up, reaching for his many take out menus from the nearby restaurants. "There's Chinese, Italian, sushi, a grill..."
"Sushi sounds good." Dan interrupted, grabbing the paper menu. "Open til 9," He read. "Sushi, then?"
"Sure, as long as it's somewhere outside." Phil smiled, glancing down at his friend's wrist, where scars faded behind a green rubber bracelet. He reached for Dan's hand, as the two were so close they would do those things; hold hands, hug, even cuddle sometimes.
"I need to shower, Phil, not now."
Phil made a small noise of disapproval, then said, "Fine." He rolled his eyes. "Guess I'll hold my own hand."
Dan laughed as he grabbed a towel from the closet in the hall.
Phil got out his laptop when Dan went into the shower, then onto tumblr. He went on one of his other blogs, the one where he wasn't known as AmazingPhil, the screen name that he had grown into fame with. He was just some kid named Phil. He opened up the text option on post, and started typing.
"Help.
So, you know my roommate, right? The cute one? The one who I love so much, platonically and not? He's doing fine, he hasn't relapsed for two years. I'm making sure of that. Anyways, I need help. How do I ask him out? And what if he says no? We're going out tonight, to dinner and probably just going to go around the city for a while. Would now be a good time to ask him? Someone message me. Anon or not. I need advice."
With trembling hands, he hit post. And waited. After about three minutes, his inbox gained two messages. One was from someone he hadn't seen before, so he looked at their blog.
"Hey.
I'm just a boy with brown hair who sometimes looks emo." was this person's bio. Phil scrolled through a few posts, reblogging some. Remembering what limited time he had, as Dan showered, he returned to his inbox, now with 8 messages.
Five were anon. "Ask him. I ship you two xxx" "do what you want, but i would ask him. i mean, if you know you like him." "c: that's an adorable idea. you should totally take him to dinner and ask him there. or, ask him at a store. ask him c:" "I bet you two are cuties! Ask him, please. Who could ever say no to you, Phil?" "This roommate would be a jerk to say no. Keep us updated if you do ask."
Three were off, one being from this new blog, which he now followed. "If I were you, I'd ask him. I'm in a pretty similar situation right now. Let's make a deal-you ask, I ask." Phil replied, with an "I'm nervous. I'll do it, I think. I like him a lot."
The shower turned off. Phil quickly signed out of this other account and signed into his normal one. Dan got out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist.
"Dude, I'm out of clothes. We can't go anywhere." Dan said, his slightly damp hair in curls everywhere. Phil liked it better natural, but Dan tended to straighten it.
"Just wear something of mine." Phil said. Dan looked really good, then and there. There were still a few beads of water dripping off his chest, which wasn't a sight, but still amazing. He had a perfect V-line from his hips to his towel, which Phil had to constantly remind himself to stop staring at.
"I have free reign over Phil Lester's wardrobe." Dan said, grinning, then laughing as if he were a cheesy super-villain.
"Dork." Phil muttered as Dan went into Phil's room. Phil logged back into the other tumblr, and posted one thing.
"I'm screwed."
"Hey, Phil?" Dan called, walking out in one of Phil's favourite shirts. It had cats all over it and Dan paired it with a pair of black skinny jeans. He hadn't straightened his hair yet. "This look good?"
"Yeah, sure. I like your hair like that. Keep it curly."
"I hate it."
"Just for tonight?"
"Then you wear your glasses." Dan countered.
"Okay." Phil said, one less thing to do. "Then we're ready, right?"
"Sure, I guess. Get on shoes." Dan said, and Phil laughed, sliding on a pair of black Vans.
Walking out of the campus, Dan adjusted his jacket. "It's kinda chilly."
"Take this." Phil said, taking off his second jacket.
"I'm fine, you don't need to."
"Take it." Phil said, putting it over Dan's shoulder. Dan grabbed it down with his hands, almost cloaking himself with it.
"Ooh, it's warm." Phil laughed silently at his crush's adorableness. "I have a problem, Phil."
"What, is it not warm enough?"
"No, it's just- Nevermind, it's stupid."
"What is it, Dan?" Asked Phil, concerned. "Are you okay? Did you start cu-"
"No! No! No! I swear I didn't. I'm fine. I just," Dan kicked a small stone lying on the pavement in front of him. They were starting to leave campus, then they would call a taxi. "I need advice on something. Someone."
"Shoot."
"I like this guy, but he's basically unattainable. He knows me, but doesn't seem to know I like him, though I try to hint at it a lot. I like him so much but he doesn't like me." Phil stopped walking. He was in the exact same situation, how could he give any advice? "Phil? Why'd you stop?"
"What's this guy's name?" He asked, wanting to know who he was losing to.
"You don't know him."
"What's his name?"
"It doesn't matter, it was a stupid question. I can never get him."
Phil went silent. He didn't need to know who this was, it wasn't him.
"Whatever." Phil mumbled, walking again. He kept mumbling to himself, incoherent sentences and phrases.
".....damn....stupid.......crush.....doesn't matter....."
Dan tried to ignore it, but it was hard. "What are you saying?"
"Nothing," Phil said. "Just talking to myself."
"Phil."
"What?" Phil asked, almost annoyed.
"God, nevermind." Phil was confused, but he called a car and told the driver the restaurant name.
The ride there was awkwardly silent, while Phil looked out the window, and Dan at Phil. Dan tried for Phil's hand, but Phil didn't notice.
"That'll be six pounds fifty." Said the driver, and Phil handed him ten.
"Thanks." The driver started looking for change. "Keep it."
Phil opened the door for Dan, getting his hand. Dan smiled, at least Phil wasn't angry. Phil held Dan's hand tight. It was so soft. And nice.
"Can I tell you something?" Phil asked, his heart pounding.
"Yeah, of course."
"I like you. A lot. I have for a while." Phil said. "That's done."
Dan let go of Phil's hand. Phil knew Dan didn't like him that way, why would he try to change that?
"I like you, too, Phil."
"But that boy you were talking about."
"You."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Would you be my boyfriend?" Phil asked nervously, looking down at his hands.
"Yes." Dan said, and hugged Phil. Phil smelled wonderful, like puppies and happiness. He wanted to stay that way forever.
**after dinner, which consisted of a lot of flirting; at a park, sun is setting**
"You are adorable." Dan said.
"You're adorable-r." Tried Phil, making Dan chuckle, wrapping his arm around Phil.
"I know we only started dating a few hours ago, but I think I love you." Dan said, cuddled up near his boyfriend.
"I really want to kiss you right now."
"Go ahead." Dan said, and Phil did. Their lips connected with a small spark, and it only lasted a few short seconds.
"You taste good." Phil said.
"You too."
"I love you, too, by the way."
Dan smirked. "Cuddles tonight?"
"Cuddles tonight, definitely."