Big Shepherd, Little Shepherd

III

YOUR POV

"Derek's fiancée is SO nice" Addison lied. She's an asshole. Who the fuck gave her the right to bring up my drug habits? I'm currently storming around the hospital looking for Derek while being followed by some weird intern?

- y/n : Can you stop following me? I'm fine and don't need a stalker

- Stephanie : I'm sorry. Dr Shepherd told me to follow you. She said not to let you out of my sight until you quote 'finish your melt down and go see your brother'

- y/n : Fucking hell. Oh look, there's another one following me. I don't need a babysitter

- Derek : Y/n Rose Shepherd, get your ass right here

- y/n : Bye bye creepy interns. Looks like Dr Shepherd bellowed for me

- Derek : Wilson, Edwards. You can leave. I've got my sister from here. What were you thinking y/n? Addison said you were getting better

- y/n : Good for Addison

- Derek : What happened to you? You said you were trying?

- y/n : Yeah well things change. I'll say the same thing I said to Amy. Just let me go, if you stop worrying then it won't affect you when I'm dead

I think I hit a sensitive spot. Derek grabbed my wrist which, by the way, fucking hurts, and pretty much dragged me along to our loving sister and his bitchy wife.

- Derek : Meredith, this is y/n. The suicidal drug addict. She's staying with us until she proves I can trust her and that she's clean and won't kill herself

- y/n : Woah, I didn't consent to this

- Meredith : Neither did I. I let Amelia around our children but I am not letting the current drug addict near them

- Amelia : Woah, why are you attacking me?

- y/n : I took two semesters of law in college Derek. Don't try me, I can name about 14 different violations you'll be making

- Derek : You don't have the ability to do anything about it. Keeping you with me is for your best interests, the police will side with me

- Meredith : Derek! Bailey and Zola don't need to be corrupted this young

- y/n : See Derek. Your precious wife thinks your little sister is going to corrupt her angels. Looks like I'll be going. That's for the very not fun holiday but I'm off to LA.

- Amelia : Your killing yourself and your just going to end up like Ryan. Dead in a hotel room but with no one around to hold you. Dad wouldn't want you doing this

- y/n : SHUT THE FUCK UP AMELIA. YOU DON'T GET TO TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT. RUB IT IN MY FUCKING FACE, WHY DON'T YOU. I NEVER MET MY DAD SO SHUT UP AND FUCK OFF

I think I lashed out. Yeah I don't think, I know I lashed out but she had no fucking right to say that. I get it, she met my dad but I didn't and it kind of hurts to know the rest of my siblings got the experience of a father. I don't even know where I'm going. I'm just walking.

- Stephanie : Miss Shepherd?

- y/n : Doctor. I'm Dr Shepherd, supposed to be a 4th year resident

- Stephanie : Erm Dr Shepherd asked me to take you to her car so she can take you home

- y/n : Which car is her's? I can walk there myself

- Stephanie : It's better if I show you. There are loads of the same car

She's talking away in my ear and all I want to do is take something so she doesn't sound as annoying. Oh the things I would do for something to make me feel okay. Just a little weed would do. I'd prefer oxy but I'll take what I can get.

- Amelia : Get in the car y/n. We're going home

- y/n : My home is in LA. That's where all my stuff is

- Amelia : Y/n please. Just get in the car. I'm dirty, hungry and tired and I know you are.

Whole drive home. Silence. Amelia cooking dinner. Silence. Both of us eating dinner. Silence. It's probably for the best considering the level of my irritability right now. I need to bleed or get high or both.

- Amelia : I can't leave you alone y/n. You know I can't

- y/n : Please Amelia. What am I going to do? Realistically

- Amelia : Hurt yourself.

- y/n : How fucking stupid do you think I am? I would leave before I didn't anything because you won't get off my case

- Amelia : You know why I won't get off your fucking case? Because I love you, your my little sister and I care about you so much. I can't help but feel this is partly my fault because of when we were teenagers. We used to smoke weed at the weekends. I was 18 and let a 13 year old smoke weed with me. I can't let you kill yourself y/n. I just can't so shut up, get changed and get into bed

- y/n : Amelia-

- Amelia : No y/n. Just do what I asked

It's not affecting them that badly. They're exaggerating. They all are. They don't care. I know they don't.

AMELIA'S POV

It hurts to see her like this. It really hurts. She did as I asked and climbed onto the other side of the bed. She sort of just curled up in a ball away from my side of the bed. After about 15 minutes I rolled over and pulled her into me. I need a hug from my little sister and I think she needs a hug from me. That's when I felt them. The tears.

- Amelia : What's wrong? Are you okay?

- y/n : I'm sorry. I'm hurting everyone because I'm hurting

- Amelia : Calm down. I've got you

- y/n : I want help but I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up but I don't want to fight

- Amelia : It's okay y/n/n. I've got you. We'll help. Me and Derek have got you

It wasn't long until she fell asleep next to me. Tomorrow she'll act like nothing happened but it was nice to get to hug my sister again. It was nice to see y/n/n.

Authors Notes
I'm posting early in the
morning because i'm exhausted
by the time i get home from
school. Have a drink and snack
please x