Big Shepherd, Little Shepherd

XLI

YOUR POV

I get to go home. It's been a long few days on the phone to Carina because she's crying while Isabella is asleep but today I get to join them.

- y/n : Hey? Is anyone home?

- Isabella : Ahnee

- y/n : Hello Bells. Where's Auntie Carina?

- Isabella : Up

- y/n : I can't pick you up right now baby. Maybe if we find Carina then she can pass you to me

- Carina : Y/n/n?

- y/n : It's me. I'm here

- Carina : The dogs are asleep upstairs. Isabella is due a nap and I need to shower

- y/n : Hey. It's okay. I'm home. I'll put Isabella down, you can shower. Come on baby. Show me to your bedroom

Carina looks relieved that she doesn't have to be alone now. I wish I could've been here sooner to help though.

- Isabella : Bed

- y/n : That is your bed Bells. How about we have a nap?

- Isabella : Daddy?

- y/n : Oh sweetie. You've got to live with me and Auntie Carina now. Daddy has gone to heaven

- Isabella : Home?

- y/n : Yeah. Daddy's gone home Bells. Come on. Into bed. I'll be downstairs if you need me

Carina is still in the shower? It's been like 30 minutes, she never took longer then 15 and I know things change but not that much.

- y/n : Car? Carina? I'm coming in, okay? What are you- This water is freezing and you're fully dressed come on. You need to get up or you'll get hypothermia

- Carina : I miss him

- y/n : I know your trying to cope but you're going to make yourself ill. Let's warm you up

- Carina : Mhm

- y/n : What wrong? Somethings on your mind

- Carina : I've got to go back to Italy. My visa is expiring and things are worse over there

She's leaving. She's leaving and won't come back. She'll do what Andrew did but without dying. I'm going to raise her niece and she's just going to abandon me.

- y/n : When are you leaving?

- Carina : Tomorrow

- y/n : What about Isabella?

- Carina : Andrew put you as her legal guardian, raise her as your own until she's old enough to understand

- y/n : Carina please don't go. Please

- Carina : I have to bella

I need to call Amy or Arizona. I can't raise Isabella alone now her aunt is leaving. I need help. I'll help Carina pack and let her leave, I can stay in contact and maybe help her come back. What if she doesn't want to stay in contact? Fuck.

- y/n : You need to get into some warm clothes Car. Get changed and I'll help you pack, okay

- Carina : I don't want to go

- y/n : Carina-

- Carina : I don't want to but I have to. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you. I'm so sorry bella

- y/n : What do I do? Tell me what I'm supposed to do Carina?

- Carina : I don't know. You've got to stay here. Everyone you know is here. Everything you know is here

- y/n : I don't want you to leave. Please

- Carina : We can't stop it

I'm not thinking straight, I will do anything to keep her here. Including ignoring every instinct in my body that's telling me not to kiss her. Not to hug her and never let go.

- Carina : Bella-

- y/n : Don't. Just let me

I just need to kiss her before I lose her. If I'm going to lose her then I need to make this a goodbye.

- y/n : I can't-

- Carina : I know. The stitches and Isabella is upstairs

- y/n : Yeah

- Carina : Help me pack the last things?

- y/n : Are you ever coming back?

- Carina : I don't know

- y/n : What do you know Carina because it seems like you're just running away

- Carina : I'm sorry

- y/n : This is y fair. This isn't fucking fair

We didn't speak for the rest of the time she was here. She called herself a taxi and didn't even look back like they do in films.

- Amelia : Hey Guys I thought you might need help with Isabel- why are you crying?

- y/n : Carina left, Isabella keeps asking for Andrew and I don't know what to do

- Amelia : Okay you take Ryan, I'll change Isabella and feed her. Ryan won't be awake, she didn't sleep last night and she only went down on the way over here.

Thank fuck for Amelia.

Authors Notes
It's been a while. I was
focusing on my new story
which already has over
twenty five parts. I'm kind
of stuck with this story so
i need some help. Have a
drink and snack please