Big Shepherd, Little Shepherd

VIII

YOUR POV

I've been here 3 days. Me and Kara have a routine now alright today is different. I'm meeting her daughter and Derek is supposed to come visit. It seems like Saturday is a special occasion here. Everyone is dressed up and the whole place has been cleaned. Kara said that visitors have to be searched before they can come in so it may take a while for Derek to get through.

- Kara : Layla should be through any minute now. She thinks she can stay at home on her own while I'm here but she can't sleep without being tucked into bed. She's staying with her Uncle

- y/n : My brother is going to visit. He's annoying but I love him

- Layla : MOM!

- Kara : Layla keep your voice down.

- Layla : I missed you. Hey, you must be my mom's new roommate. I'm Layla

- y/n : Y/n

- Kara : Are you okay if we go on. I'll meet you out there in a bit when your brother gets here

I waited for 5 hours that day. 5 fucking hours and he didn't turn up. Neither did Amelia or Arizona. Almost everyone had heard from or seen their family and I was let down. Shows you can only count on yourself. They gave me phone time though and I took it as a chance to rip Derek a new asshole.

- y/n : Hey Derek. Thanks for turning up today, not. You dropped me off at a psychiatric facility and promised you'd come visit if you could. You said if you couldn't then you'd call. You lied Derek. I want to get better but I need your fucking support. Thanks a fucking lot for nothing. Don't bother turning up next week.

I kind of hung up before he could say anything. He fucking promised me.

A Few Saturday's Later

It's Kara's last Saturday here. She leaves later today and I'm kind of sad about it. She comforts me when no one turns up on visiting days. The only reason she's staying so long today is so I don't have to be alone. Layla is coming with her uncle to pick Kara up in an hour now and I'm not ready for her to leave.

- y/n : Your leaving me

- Kara : I am but your going to do so well here. It won't be long until it's your turn to leave and you'll get to show Dave, Donald, Derek- whatever his name is that you didn't need him

- y/n : I'm going to miss you

- Kara : I'll miss you too asswipe. Be good

- Layla : MOM. WE GET TO GO HOME. Hey y/n

- Kara : Goodbye y/n

- y/n : Bye Kara. Bye Layla

- Layla : Bye y/n

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. I can't stop it. It's not sobbing but I'm alone again. Like when I got here.

- Mary : Is it a bad time y/n?

- y/n : Kara just left and I feel very alone. I know I'm getting better but that I'm not going to be fully better for a while-

- Mary : No, you've got a visitor. Remember what we do if we get angry.

- y/n : Mary-

- Meredith : Can I come in?

Jesus fucking christ. My brother can't make it to see me but his wife that hates me can. Really says something.

- Meredith : An apology isn't enough to repair the damage of my words. I'm so sorry I said all that about you, I guess you remind me of my little sister. She loved neuro and wrapped her jumpers round her hands like you do. There is no justifying what I did. Up until a few weeks ago I didn't even know you were here. Derek had just disappeared one morning and appeared in the evening then I got the phone call meant for him. 

- y/n : You had a little sister

- Meredith : Yeah. Lexie. She died in the plane crash. Amelia said she told you about that.

- y/n : I'm sorry. Does Derek know your here? Or Amy?

- Meredith : Amelia does. She feels really sorry. She wants to come visit you but can't step foot in here. She's come up every Saturday and just sits in her car outside. Derek doesn't know I'm here. He hadn't mentioned you in 2, maybe 3 weeks

- y/n : He promised to come see me

- Meredith : I know. I'll come see you for the next two Saturdays, okay? We started off rocky and I need to get to know my sister in law

I don't know why but everything that has happened with Meredith before I got admitted is washed away. She has put more effort into coming to see me then Derek has. I understand why Amelia hasn't come but to know she has been a few walks away some of the time I'm here kind of hurts. Meredith stayed as long as she could meaning she left right before lights out. I want out of here right now.

Authors Notes
I wrote 3 parts last night
and i'm posting this instead
of doing my history homework
Have a drink and a snack
please x