Big Shepherd, Little Shepherd

XLVI

AMELIA'S POV

I love my sister but she needs to get off her damn high horse and talk to Carina. They're like the younger version of me and Arizona, meant to be. It's something about Grey-Sloan. Everyone meets their soulmate there. Me and Arizona, Derek and Meredith, Mark and Lexie, Carina and Y/n. Y/n's just too fucking stubborn to accept that she always will and always has been in love with Carina.

- y/n : What do you want to do?

- Amelia : What're you doing?

- y/n : I was going to watch TV but-

- Amelia : Shut up. The adult is speaking. You're still in love with Carina. Don't say you aren't. The way you look at her is the way Derek looked at Meredith. Like nothing else in the world matters and even through anger and sadness you'll always love her.

- y/n : Amelia

- Amelia : What? You can't deny it. Just tell my why you're throwing away everything with Carina. Even if she's been gone for ages you can start over

- y/n : As much as I love her nothing will let me forgive her. She left me with my daughter, not that I'm complaining. The only thing left of her brother she abandoned. The only real connection Isabella has to her dad and she just upped and left.

I see y/n's point but she's had a bond with Carina for as long as they've known each other. That can't just be ignored.

- Amelia : So what? You move on?

- y/n : That's exactly what I do. I could've gotten over the marriage thing but just as I was letting her in she left. I know that wasn't her fault but she could've texted me. She didn't even text me asking about Bells or me. So yes, I moved on. I moved on and I'm happy without her. All I need is my family

- Amelia : We spend our whole lives searching for love and you have a woman who is willing to do anything for you but you're going to be a dickhead and break her heart because she broke yours

- y/n : Amelia stop acting like you don't know me. You're my big sister. You're supposed to be on my side even if you don't agree with what I'm saying. I don't want to love Carina

- Amelia : But you still do and that's not going to go away

- y/n : Amy drop it

I've crossed a line but hopefully it'll make my sister think about the mistake she's making about being hostile towards Carina. She owes it to herself to let herself be loved again.

YOUR POV

I'm so fucking angry but I've got to keep my cool. In, out. In, out. Who the fuck is my sister to tell me who to love. Of course I still love Carina but who's saying she won't run off and ignore me for years again. Plus I'm seeing someone, kinda.

- Isabella : Mom?

- y/n : Hey. What's wrong? Why are you up?

- Isabella : I feel a bit sick

- y/n : Okay then. Come here. Is there anything I can do?

- Isabella : Can I sleep in your room?

- y/n : Yeah. I'll be up in a second

- Amelia : Just think about what I've said

- y/n : Goodnight Amelia

- Amelia : Night y/n/n

You see I don't need encouragement about letting Carina in. I would let her into my life in a heart beat but that wouldn't be fair on Bells. She's my priority and she doesn't want anything to do with Carina.

- Isabella : Mom wake up

- y/n : Huh?

- Isabella : Auntie Amelia went out to get stuff for breakfast and Ryan's crying

- y/n : Alright. I'm up

Ryan gets anxious when she wakes up and Amelia or Arizona aren't around. I think she's okay when the boys are there too but she's not great waking up alone.

- y/n : What's all this fuss for?

- Ryan : Where's Mommy?

- y/n : She's gone to the shop. Come on. Let's go get you a drink and clean up your face then your mom should be back

- Ryan : Mhm

Isabella has always been pretty independent, trying to show me she's growing up. Ryan makes the most of being young and it's adorable. Their both adorable in their own ways.

- Amelia : ...Yeah she was 5 when it happened. We all laughed but Bells didn't find it funny

- y/n : Amy?

- Amelia : Look who I found at the shop

- Carina : Hello bella

- y/n : I- Great.

- Isabella : Mom?

- y/n : Yeah, do what you want

- Isabella : Thank you

- Amelia : Let's go get changed Ryan

Great. Leave me alone with Carina why don't you.

- Carina : Did you sleep well?

- y/n : Why are you here?

- Carina : I live in Seattle again now

- y/n : No, what are you doing here here? In my house?

- Carina : Amelia invited me and I want a chance to explain myself

- y/n : I don't want you to

- Carina : Bella-

- y/n : No. I'm not your bella. The only 'Bella' you should be talking to is your niece, the one I've raised since Andrew died. Carina even if I wanted anything from you I couldn't. Isabella is terrified of you and it's not fair on her. She's my daughter, my priority, she'll always come first.

- Carina : I understand but I still want to answer your questions. Here? Tonight? I'm sure Amelia won't mind have Isabella

I don't have a choice in the matter, do I?

Authors Notes
Have a drink and
snack please