Big Shepherd, Little Shepherd

LV

AMELIA'S POV

If you've ever seen children dressed for a funeral you know how sad it is. Seeing a Isabella in a black dress wearing her Mom's necklace and Carina's ring on that necklace. Seeing Andrea look around for his moms. It's painful.

- Andrea : Mommy? Mama?

- Eli : Mom? What do we say when he asks?

- Arizona : Mommy and Mama have got to heaven

- Andrea : When they come back?

- Isabella : They aren't

- Andrea : We go see them?

- Arizona : Not right now. Maybe when you're a lot older

It's a funeral. I don't know what else I'm supposed to say. People have travelled from all over to say goodbye. Everyone from LA and Rowan has travelled to be here. Carina's friends and family from Italy. Everyone's here.

- Addison : Amelia

- Amelia : Hey

- Jake : How are you holding up?

- Amelia : I lost my little sister. How do you think I'm holding up? I'm sorry. Thank you for coming

- Charlotte : Anytime

- Amelia : I'll be back

I need to see Arizona. Don't ask, I just get the urge to make sure she's okay. I guess that happens when you've lost so many people you love.

- Arizona : Hey Amy

- Amelia : Can I have a hug?

- Arizona : Yeah. Come here. You're okay, I'm okay

- Amelia : Where's Bells?

- Arizona : Sat in the corner with Ryan and Andy

- Amelia : How's she holding up? She won't talk to me

- Arizona : She still insists on going to school tomorrow

Isabella wants to pretend nothing happened but it's okay for her to be upset. She lost her Mom and she lost Carina. She'll have to explain what y/n was like as a Mom to Andy because he won't remember and no one else experienced it.

- Addison : Y/n and Carina were two of the most kind, loving people I knew. They were perfect for each other and although we are all saddened by this loss they are together. With their brother's who never wanted this day to come, the day they'd have to reunite because that meant they'd left someone behind. Y/n and Carina, we miss you.

I have to go up next and then it's Isabella. No one made her say something, she just wanted to.

- Amelia : That, in that box, is my little sister. Next to her is the love of her life. It's a harsh way to say it but it's true. They're in those boxes and they won't see us again, not for a long time. But when we do get to see them again we will smile and we will laugh and we will dance because we will all be together again. But until that day I will miss them

I don't know if Isabella wants me to stay stood up with her but I will anyway. She needs support and I'm here for her. We lost the same person even if they had different meanings. I lost my sister, she lost her Mom.

- Isabella : Hello. I just want to say thank you all for coming. My Mom would be shocked at how many people turned up. I want to share the best memories of my Mom because she didn't deserve to die and I don't deserve to lose not only my Mom but my best friends too. Carina and my Mom were the only things that made me smile sometimes. Like before Andy was born when we had a water fight and when Carina built a pillow fort with me and took the blame when I broke a chair. I love them and I miss them a lot. I just want to see them again.

She's gone. Y/n's gone. Carina's gone. I have two more kids to care for both of which are going to have issues because they've lost two parents and Isabella has lost Carina as well as y/n and Andrew and yet all I can think about is the fact I'm not Big Shepherd or Little Shepherd. I'm just Amelia Shepherd.

My Isabella,
You're my baby. My little girl. I'm so sorry you're reading this and I can't say it in person but know I am so proud of you. Whoever gave you this has had a hold of it since I left you and Andrea and I hope they're taking good care of you. I am with my brother and father now. I am with your Dad now. I am at home now. I will always be watching over you and your brother, I will watch you graduate high school and grow old and become an adult. I will be there the whole time. I know you're afraid of growing up but it'll be okay. Everyone's behind you, just let them in. Don't be stubborn like me. I love you so so much Bells. Always and forever.
Mom xx

AmyPoo,
Let Isabella and Andrea know they're loved. I didn't plan my death and it couldn't be prevented. I love my life, I'm not like that anymore but I always thought I'd need letters in case anything happened so I guess something happened. Thank you so much Amelia. I don't think I could ask for a better big sister. You always were my favourite but don't tell Lizzie that. As my best friend for the entirety of my life I need you to know that I love you. I love you in the weird sisterly/friendly type of way where we never said it but knew we always meant it. Tell the kids I love them and give them a hug for me. I'll miss you all.
Y/n xx

Authors Notes
Have a drink and a
snack please