MHR || PJM { UNEDITED }

65

I went back to my ethic class just to grab all of my stuff, Namjoon looks at me with his confused and worry expression.

Namjoon: Are you okay?

He whispered, I refused to look at him nor give him any reply. I just hurry grabbed my belongings and eventually leave the room. Good thing this is college, if I do this in high school, the teachers probably whoop my ass and reports this to my parent before I even get home.

During the trip back to my village, I sit quietly in the bus and look outside the window, thinking about what I said to Jimin, he looks genuinely hurt. I know I shouldn't feel bad for him because he deserves it. All along I thought that he really loves and cares about me but that was just a lie that I told myself, he was never loves me, he just used me to fulfill his sexual needed. Even after I left, he never think of chasing me, if I didn't bumped into him today he will never try to run after me. The fact that he knows where I live but he decided not to do anything it hurt me. No one knows how desperate I was waiting for him to show up in front of my house, tell me that he really sorry and show me how much he wants me back in his life but I just wait for nothing, it been a month, if I do mean something to him and he really wants this relationship he will at least tries but he's didn't.

I want to run back to him I really do, but I can't afford to have my heart break again. He hurt me a lot, I'm pretty sure he aware of it too. The first time he hurt me was when he introduced his girlfriend to me after we fucked, I used to blame myself for this when it was all his fault. The second time he hurt me was when I confessed to him about how I really feel but he ended up leaving me cruelly, I felt so worthless, but I was so lucky to have Yoongi oppa that time. It might make me look bad for saying I used him to distract myself from thinking about Jimin. Yoongi oppa was the best replacement and I enjoyed his company but somewhere in the end I still can't deny my own heart that no one can replace him, I hate the fact that I can't escape him, I fucking hate that I can't hate him, I want to hate him, I wish I could hate him. And the third time he hurt me, I don't even wanna talk about it, he left so much scars in my heart, I can't take him anymore. If I don't leave him now he will continue hurting me endlessly.

Bus Driver: Miss? We've arrived

I snapped when I feel someone placed their hand on my shoulder, I look up at them and it was the bus driver, I look at him with my confused face and he stare back at me with the same expression

Y/n: Y- Yes?

Bus Driver: We've arrived

Y/n: Oh

I look outside the bus and he wasn't lie. I was the only passenger that still here, I quickly get up, the bus driver moves aside, allow me to step out from the seat. I bow at him and apologize for taking his time then get out from the bus. I walk back to my house, thinking of an explanation for my parent.

***

Time goes by so fast, it's Friday day already. I lazily get up from my bed and walk straight to the wash room to get myself ready for the classes.

When the time hits 10 o'clock, my eyes scanning around the room as I didn't see Namjoon. The class already started and he still not showing up, he never came to class late like this or is he gonna skip today? Should I text him to check if everything is alright? But why would I do that? Because he's my friend but I still don't feel like I'm close to him enough to interfere in his business. Yeah whatever, I can ask him next week when he comes to class or when he text me. I sighed and turn back to focus on the lecture.

After the class ended, I wrapped up and exit the room. As I walk up the stairs to my next class I suddenly feel my phone vibrating, I take it out from my pocket and see that someone calls me, it's unknown number, who could it possibly be? Probably spam, I look at my phone screen with hesitation while my feet still keep walking, after one minute the call stopped, just as I'm about to shove it back inside my pocket it starts vibrating again.