AGAPI

15. A Not-so-Deep Conversation

Austin

"My heart just skipped a beat because of you, Iris." I say, as my heart fluttered because of her words. I felt special. She takes a long pause before speaking up.

"I'm glad it did." She smirks and looks away. Did she just smirk at me? Why? And is she glad that she made my heart skip a beat?

"Iris, I didn't mean it in that way." I say, to make sure she doesn't misunderstand.

"What way?" She says with the smirk which hadn't left her lips.

"I mean like, you know, your words made me feel special which made my heart flutter. That's all. Your words made my heart skip a beat. Not you." I pause while looking at her before continuing as it felt like she was staring at my soul with that smirk. "I- I just don't want you to misunderstand." My words couldn't get any awkward.

"Who told you I misunderstood?" She was definitely teasing me.

"Then, what's that smirk for?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"Because I'm glad." She says and starts to laugh.

"What's wrong with you, Iris? Why are you laughing?" I couldn't help but laugh at how she was laughing. This is the first time I'm looking at her being so happy.

"Nothing." She stops laughing gradually but still had her smile on her face. We look back at the sky.

The silence took over us for the next few minutes.

"Iris," I speak up breaking the silence between us again. She looks at me and I look back at her. "Please don't hate my grandma too much. She's really a good person." I take a short pause staring at her eyes before continuing. "I know you have all reasons to hate her and I'm not trying to defend her. I know she is on the wrong side but-" I couldn't go further as I didn't know what to say. My grandma was definitely wrong but I couldn't hate her because she was the only person who was there with me throughout the highs and the lows in my entire life. She was the one who gave me life, showed me what life is, taught me how to enjoy my life. I couldn't hate her even if she killed me.

"I can understand, Austin." She looks away. "I'll try not to hate her too much but if you catch me hating on her at times, I'm sorry in advance."

"No, don't say sorry. I am sorry. Sorry for asking you to control your emotions when you're emotions are very much reasonable." She looks back at me and we just keep staring at each other for a few seconds until she looks away.

"Austin," she says, looking at the sky.

"Yeah?" I say, looking at her.

"When I was a grad student, I had a really close friend and we used to hang out almost everyday. We were so close that there wasn't a day that we weren't together and one day, she tells me that she was dating John, which got me by surprise and I didn't have the right to say anything for that after all."

I hum at her words, to show her that I was paying attention.

"They broke up gradually and I found my brother crying very badly in his room. He admitted to me that it was his mistake that they broke up and asked me to go comfort her instead of him because he was on the wrong side but I couldn't go comfort her instead of comforting him even though I knew he was on the wrong side. I did not visit her that day for the first time since we met. I hated my brother my whole life but especially that day, I couldn't hate him because I saw him cry so badly." She sighs and looks at me.

"No, he didn't cheat on her but he did mess up their relationship." She continues to which I nod and she looks away again. "Eventually, my close friend and I grew apart after their breakup. I regretted a lot that I did not visit her that day and apologized her to which she forgave me but we still grew apart. I couldn't hate on my brother that we grew apart because of him. Maybe, because I knew how much he regretted doing so and most importantly because I knew what kind of a person he really was and that he didn't mean to hurt her."