AGAPI

17. Flashbacks

Iris

"I'll use the room for now." I say and close the door leaving Austin behind.

I stand facing the shower faucet and when the water hits my face, I close my eyes hard, trying to remember about last night.

I start getting flashback of us in Mr. Kim's bedroom kissing and undressing each other, and I open my eyes wide. My mouth widens, as I cover my mouth when I remember that he had squeezed my naked waist and my clothed boobs while kissing. I cover my breast when I start to feel that sensation of him squeezing.

I just want to disappear now. I close my eyes regretting that I remembered it but I open my eyes again after getting flashbacks of us making out until we both fell on the bed and passed out in the middle of making out. I just want to forget about last night. I internally start crying because I couldn't stop thinking about last night.

I shake my head, not being able to believe my memory. But, I wonder why we were in Mr. Kim's bedroom instead of ours. I am so embarrassed that I don't want to get out of the bathroom. I pinch and slap myself hoping this was just a weird dream but I just hurt myself.

I get out of the room after getting freshed up and get startled at Austin being right in front of the door.

"I'll be in the lobby, you can use the room." I say, while walking out of the room without daring to make eye contact after realising what we did in Mr. Kim's room. He comes in front of me suddenly, getting me even more shocked and I hit my back on the wall and cover my breast. I knew I'm an expert at making things awkward but this act of mine was way beyond awkward, because all I could think of was about last night and I couldn't look at him straight in the eyes because of it.

He moves away giving space for me. "Nothing." He says and closes the door. He seems a bit angry and disappointed for God knows why. I hope he doesn't remember any shit we did last night and I really hope that the other things I couldn't remember and do not want to remember are not as worse as the one I remembered just a while ago.

I head to the lobby and take a magazine that was on the desk and go through it but my mind couldn't focus. I close the magazine being angry that all I could think of was about last night. I badly wanted to reload my brain because something was definitely wrong with it. I open the magazine back, calmly and take a deep breath calmly and tell myself that what we did last night was just a mistake and it's not something worth enough for me to think about. I should overcome this.

I keep on focusing on the magazine which I kept on failing and suddenly I hear Austin calling my name which makes me look at the direction of his voice. He looks so hot in his wet hair. I was once again lost while staring at him and I could only come back to my right mind when he sits across me on the couch. I avoid his gaze and look back at the magazine.

Shit, I can sense that I'm being very awkward around him and I couldn't avoid it. I start to get nervous at the thought of him remembering last night.

"Do you remember anything about last night?" I ask him, still looking at the magazine.

"No." He answers, which makes me calm down a bit. God, please don't ever make him remember any bit of what happened last night.

"Let's go have breakfast. I'm hungry." I say with the fake confidence I built up after hearing his answer. If I kept on ignoring him for the whole time, the awkwardness is just going to increase and so, it's better to just act normal and make myself believe that nothing ever happened. We still had a couple of days to spend together after all.

I do not dare to look up at him while we are having breakfast. I just keep staring at the food and sing a song in my head trying to remember the lyrics of it when I start to get those haunted flashbacks again, because I needed to distract myself.

"Do you remember anything, perhaps?" He asks me which makes me look at him for a second but I take my eyes back on the food in a flash when I start to get nervous after looking at him.

"N-No." I hate myself.

"Okay." He says, which makes me look back at him but his eyes were now fixed on the food. He seems a bit sad which made me a bit concerned but I took back my concentration on the song which was running through my head because I didn't want to get bothered by him anymore.

10:25 a.m

We were back at the lobby after our breakfast and he stops midway while we were walking which makes me stop my way too. I look at him with hesitation.

"I can't hold it in anymore, Iris. Am I making you uncomfortable? Should I just get out of your sight?" He asks being all mad. Why is he even mad at me?!

"No, Austin. You're not making me uncomfortable." I say, having my eyes set in front looking at the reception counter.

"Then why are you avoiding my gaze? Look at me, Iris." He comes in front of me which makes step back a bit but I set my eyes on his which were looking back at mine. "See, you are uncomfortable. You even got uncomfortable when I stopped you earlier in front of our room. I swear, I'm gonna get out of your sight if you want me to." He says in a breath which makes me stand like a stone, confused as to why he was getting so worked up.

"Austin, you aren't making me uncomfortable." I say, after a second of silence and breaking the eye contact. "It's just that the situation we are in is a bit awkward." I look back at him, "Don't misunderstand."

He sighs but keeps on looking at me which makes me lose the  eye contact again. I couldn't stare at him for a long time no matter how hard I tried to, especially when he is staring dead into my eyes.

"Austin," I speak up, "Can we just pretend that nothing ever happened between us even if we get our memories back?" I ask him in low voice staring at the floor.

"Yeah." He answers instantly, "I promise I will. You promise too." He holds his pinky finger in front of me.

"I promise too." I tangle my pinky finger to his, to promise.

"Okay," he sighs deeply taking his finger off mine. "So, let's head out and yeah, let's not drink until this honeymoon ends." He says and I nod with a smile.