Saints and Sinners

Thirty-two:

Thirty-two:

Ivan brought them breakfast in bed. She should have felt guilty about that, but she enjoyed staying wrapped in the sheets. She should have stayed angrier at Aleksander, but it was awfully hard to stay angry at him when he was making her feel so delicious. Ivan had made them waffles, with eggs, and sausage, along with some fruit. "You know, he didn't give us fruit the other day. Do you think he thinks we're burning too much energy?" Alina asked.

Aleksander chuckled as he took a bite of his waffles. "I suspect so."

Alina glanced at him. "Aleks, why didn't you tell me everything about Hanne?" she said. "I know you said it was because you didn't want me to get my hopes up but was that the only reason?"

He ran a hand through his hair that had fallen into his eyes a little bit. "You spent your whole first week here trying to leave me, Alina. If you heard a rumor that there was a way to remove a Blessing, wouldn't you have wanted to petition The Apparat to make that happen? I'm a Sinner, Alina. There's no amount of goodness you can show me that is going to save me."

Alina reached out and she threaded her fingers through his. "You can't expect me not to try and save you, Aleksander. I was taught to believe in the Saints. I don't want anything to part us. Even in death. I would hate to have to live in the afterlife without you."

He smirked. "Don't worry about me, Alina. I don't care what happens to my soul. I don't have much of one left."

"You have enough of one that you get to be loved by me. I don't think the Saints would give me to just anyone."

"The Saints are fickle, Alina. This whole business with Hanne proves it. Whatever their agenda is, it has absolutely nothing to do with balance. It's all about controlling people."

Alina sat up and kissed him on the cheek. "Is that really what you think? You think I'm here to control you?"

He sighed. "That's not what I mean. I'm not talking about you when I'm talking about them. Whatever they are. But it's hard not to feel like your hand is being forced when you've got the closest thing to heaven sitting right next to you, and you don't want to lose her."

Alina blushed. "You're dramatic."

"I am not," he said, "I know you can feel everything I feel, Alina, but sometimes I swear that is not enough. If someone tried to take you from me, you don't know the unspeakable things that I would do to get you back."

Alina locked eyes with him. "Yes, I do."

Aleksander shook his head. "You couldn't imagine the kind of darkness I'd be capable of if something happened to you."

"Yes, I can," she said, "remember, I can feel everything that you feel. Which is how I know that I'm capable of the same kind of darkness, Aleks. When I'm with you, it's like...like...like every rational thought goes out of my head, and the only thing I can think of is being with you, and if anyone tried to take that from me...I would kill them. I'd make sure it was the bloodiest, most brutal thing that they'd ever experienced. I wouldn't stop until they stopped breathing, and then there was nothing. You know I think that was what frightened me about you so much in the first place...I knew you could so easily make me into you, and I didn't want to lose me."

"And now?" Aleksander said.

She bit her lip. "I still want to help people. But working Hanne's case made me realize that some people are put into terrible situations and forced to do terrible things....and just because they are made to do something horrible to survive, doesn't mean they don't deserve help too. You might not feel like it, Aleks, but there's honor in what you do, and I think the Saints will see that."

Aleksander snorted. "You are annoyingly optimistic, did you know that?"

Alina smiled. "I have been told that once or twice."

"Do you really believe The Apparat would have answers about Hanne?" he asked.

"I really do," Alina answered.

Aleksander sighed. "Let's go pay him a visit then."

"Are you sure?" Alina asked. "That means going into a cathedral, Aleks. I know how much you hate those and everything."

Aleksander sighed. "For you, my dear, I would walk into far worse places than a cathedral. Don't you know?"

"I didn't," said Alina with a smile, "but I do now."

"Then," he said, as he kissed her knuckles, "let's go see The Apparat, yeah? See what the Saints have in store for us..."