Should I have told you the things I was too scared to say? I would have given anything to relive that cold rainy day again. What if we weren't scared? What if we said all the things we wanted to say to each other but felt that we couldn't? You weren't meant to mean anything to me yet here we are. I think I lied. I think you always have meant something to me. I think I lied, I'm not okay. My friends ask how I'm doing and i tell them I'm just fine but the truth is, I have become a master of holding it all in. If only you knew I was holding secrets just to keep you. Do 'just friends' really look at each other that way? I try to show you that I miss you yet every time I open my mouth nothing comes out, I push it down. I try to pretend that I don't feel it all but I am now aware of how terribly unconvincing I am. Should I have told you what I was too scared to say?
